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After we broke up my ex said we would still be friends. He would still talk to me and hang out with me and our friends. But then he started to avoid me. It's gotten to the point where I'll walk up to our friends and he'll just turn his back on me. He won't even look at me. He dosn't talk to me at all. He won't go to any of the after school clubs we were both in before either, and won't tell his best friend why he decided to quit. We had a pretty mutual break up, he just didn't want to be with me anymore and I didn't plan on staying in a relationship where I wasn't wanted. I never did anything to hurt him. He has told me he dosn't love me anymore and that he never wants to be with me again over e-mails so I know he dosn't have feelings for me. So why can't he just be my friend? I'm not trying to get him back, but it makes things kind of weird when hes avoiding me and I don't want to lose a friend. Maybe I can fix it if I know why hes being like this. Any ideas?

2007-02-21 12:00:11 · 14 answers · asked by Simple Love 2 in Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

14 answers

I know it's difficult girl, but you have to be strong. For whatever reasons you two broke up, that's between the two of you. Sometimes things can change and you say things to one another at the time, like wanting to remain friends after the break up. I know, it shouldn't be so difficult because like you said it was a mutual break up and why stay in a relationship if it doesn't seem to be working out. It is kind of rude that he acts that way to you in front of the mutual friends that you both share, but sometimes men can be like that. They can be insensitive and walk around thinking that they're all that. I'm sure you never did anything to hurt him so why don't you just let it go. I know that it's nice to remain friends after a break up, but don't you think that he's making you look like a fool?

I'm sure you're a very beautiful and sweet girl so don't tolerate that. Make him see that you'll be fine without him as a friend. I'm sure that the ffriends that you share will not tell you if he's talking about you behind his back. They probably don't want to get involved and they don't want to hurt your feelings. So don't let his ignoring you bother you. You're better than that. Remember, he broke up with you, he's the one that said that he doesn't love you anymore, and he's the one that's said that he never wants to be with you. Take it from there. If you ask me, it's his loss. You don't need a man like that in your life even as a friend.

I know it must hurt to think that someone you loved doesn't want anything to do with you, but you need to be strong and not let what he's doing get to you. Just be yourself and others will see what a jerk he really is and how immature he's acting. I'm sure that he'll see that and realize that he's being immature and then he'll be the one asking everyone why you are acting differently towards him. Good Luck Sweetie and remember be strong!!!

2007-02-21 12:27:55 · answer #1 · answered by Kiki'sgirl 2 · 0 0

It's very hard to be friends with an ex, so first of all, give him the benefit of the doubt and some time to get used to the new situation. You can't make him be your friend. It will probably take time for the two of you to discover how to be friends and it's best to be as patience and understanding as you can be.

Keep in mind too that his behavior may have nothing to do with you and your past relationship. You're interpreting his behavior based on the information that you have, but you may not know what else is going on in his life and what may be causing this behavior.

It also might be possible that he is irritated at you as a friend, and not as an ex. What would you do if another of your guy friends was acting like that? You would ask him if he was mad at you, and ask him why he was acting like that. So just ask him what's wrong. Be direct and clear and listen to what he has to say.

2007-02-21 12:14:59 · answer #2 · answered by LuckyDucky 3 · 0 0

It sounds like he changed his mind - he thought he could handle being friends but then for whatever reason he decided he couldn't and now he wants to keep away from you. This might be because seeing you stirs up complicated feelings in him - he might feel guilty about how things ended with you, or embarrassed, or any number of other things. Alternatively, he might think you still like him, and doesn't want to lead you on by being too friendly.

Try talking to him - he might not realise that you're actually okay about the breakup but that you miss him just as a friend. If he won't talk to you in person, try writing a note or sending an email that explains how you feel. But if that doesn't work, you might just have to resign yourself to the idea that for now, he wants to keep his distance. Things might change in the future, once you've both had time to get over the breakup and move on with your lives. Good luck.

2007-02-21 12:09:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

For guys, the answer is ALWAYS space. Give him space and time to figure out his (obviously) conflicted feelings. If he doesn't want to go to any of the clubs that he used to, that's on him. Don't stop your life because of him. Don't pressure him, stop emailing him and just back off in general. If he is interested in continuing a friendship with you once he sorts things out within himself, he'll let you know. If not, realize he has issues, shrug your shoulders, and move on. You can't force someone to be your friend. Good luck!

2007-02-21 12:07:00 · answer #4 · answered by answergrrl3 4 · 0 0

Closure is the main be conscious right here. If the husband and spouse love eachother, they could understand you won't be in a position to purely pass on till u understand the corpse is actual lifeless and long gone consistently. understanding that there have been miracles, and chatting with the guy in mattress on the well being midsection help, additionally enables supply closure to the spouse and young infants...they'll sense that they did all they could and all they wanted to do in the previous the organic end of existence. i could could say that leaving the kin maintain is clever, yet how comfortable are you quite going to be in case you have melancholy and guilt from not being there as much as you are able to have been till the TOD got here???i could be a large number for my section. And funds does not remember to me lots. definite it could upload to the stree, yet once you're depressed, you are able to supply 2 shits approximately something.

2016-12-17 15:46:55 · answer #5 · answered by herzog 4 · 0 0

It is so complicated when relationships break up. You know so much about a person - things that friends don't know capeche! Don't try and fix it, just leave him alone. You obviously have plenty of friends so enjoy them.

2007-02-21 12:05:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

TALK to the guy. He needs to know exactly what you just daid in your question. Tell him you don't want him back, you just want to have a friendship. It is possible that he misinterpreted "signals". Guys do that a lot. Reassure him that you know it's over and you'd still like to be friends.

2007-02-21 12:03:59 · answer #7 · answered by Katy 3 · 0 0

It sounds to me that he didn't want to hurt you but went the cowardly way. He probably said that just to get you to stop being around you and I guess he just thought that he would slowly just vanish from your life and you'd forget about him.. which is a really lame way to do it.

also.. I don't know him, but I hope that I can be of help :)

2007-02-21 12:24:21 · answer #8 · answered by Cherry bebè! 2 · 0 0

Yes - men and women should not be friends.

I mean, if a man is your friend, and he's not gay, then he wants to have sex with you.

He is probably uncomfortable being around you. I'd be very uncomfortable hanging around a woman that I had sex with.

Don't be offended. Just realize that he's moved on and move on yourself.

FP

2007-02-21 12:16:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

maybe he has some guilt that he needs to deal with and sometimes people say things they don't mean to say , just move on with your life and if you ever get the chance ask him why he is avoiding you , good luck

2007-02-21 12:05:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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