This person I give rides to never says thank you, never gives me notice of when he will be there or not, sometimes keeping me waiting and just kind of uses me whenever he feels like he wants a ride. (when it's convient for him) I don't want to be enemies, but I don't want to be used either. This morning I wasn't going to be giving him a ride till later, so I came out and waited, called him on his cell and he said he was already there, telling me he'd come back. Then at the end of the day he said he'd take the bus home as he did to his destination. Got any ideas for handling this with finess? without hurting anyone and still getting the respect I deserve?
2007-02-21 11:49:15 · 9 answers · asked by JBWPLGCSE 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
We go to the same school, and live in the same neighborhood. So I'm not driving any extra, but I feel I'm being used.
2007-02-21 12:16:44 · update #1
He doesn't say "Thank You"?? And I bet he also does not even help you pay for gas, does he? He sounds like a total freakin jerk, and you should not feel ashamed or guilty of just coming out and being *blunt* with him and saying "I'm sorry, but I cannot give you any more rides. I hope you are ok with taking the bus or a taxi, because I just can't do it anymore."
There is no need to explain *why*. Just say I can't give you anymore rides. After you tell him this, he will probably cut off all communication with you, and ignore you (because he can no longer *use* you).
And if he does start to ignore you, and cut off communication with you, then it's ok, cause you don't need someone like that in your life.
I've been through this situation MANY times in my life. People only talk to me and are nice to me when I can GIVE them something, and when I no longer have anything to give(money, rides, food,phone, etc), then they treat me like crap and ignore me. It's ok, I am better off without them because I deserve BETTER and so do YOU. You deserve better friends than that, hunny.
If someone *uses* you, then they are not your friend. They are just a simple aquaintance and they do not care about you or your feelings.
Drop him like a bad habit and stop giving him rides. Let him take the bus, or let him *bum* off of someone else. He has bummed off of you long enough.
Good Luck
2007-02-21 12:00:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ummm....i had the same thing and i just plainly stated that people would either be giving me gas money for taking them places and that when i left at a certain time i left at that time with or without you....because come on just because we can drive people around doesnt mean we dont have a life and places to be.....and if they werent at the place when they said they would be i'd leave.....you have to stand your ground and people might get a lil mad at first be most of the time they see that what your asking for is reasonable....if you give them a ride they give gas money, they are were they say there gonna be, be on time, or at least give a phone call to tell you...
2007-02-21 11:56:46 · answer #2 · answered by Baby 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just say you are sorry you can't give him a ride when he asks. Tell hiim you have other plans or are going the opposite way.
That or when he is riding, take him all over town on your errands, girlie errands....after a day of that he won't ask much for a ride anymore. Cause now his time is wasted on your items instead of his.
2007-02-21 11:54:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
With some people you can't have it both ways....this guy isn't being a friend to you because he's using you.
What do you care about being his enemy? Take up for yourself and let him catch the bus.
2007-02-21 11:53:16 · answer #4 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Change the route you take so you cannot drive him like say your going to the gym before work or where ever it is you drive him so this way your not home??
2007-02-21 11:52:31 · answer #5 · answered by BLONDE BEAUTY 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell him if he wants a ride you need to know the time and place ahead of time so you can fit it into your schedule. honestly this person sounds really rude and i don't think you need to exercise finesse, just tell his *** off.
2007-02-21 11:52:05 · answer #6 · answered by Jebbie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just tell him that he is not respecting you and he wont even say THANKYOU and tell him you dont appreciate the way he's treating you and you wont be used but tell him you still want to be firends you just dont wanna be used
2007-02-21 12:06:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
everytime he calls u just say dat u r busy and that it is really important or make some other excuse
2007-02-21 11:52:49 · answer #8 · answered by Ra N 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
dont ride him no more, he will go away.
2007-02-21 11:54:50 · answer #9 · answered by joe e 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋