I am 23 years old and my husband is 25. We have been married for a little over a year. We haven't have sex for over 2 months now.
I think I have a pretty normal or even low sex drive, all i want is having sex once per week. But my husband can't give it to me. Whenever I want it, he will push me away and tell me he is too tired or stressed. And yet he has time and energy to watch TV or play video games. I was thinking whether it was my probelm. But when I asked him if he did not find me attractive anymore, he said "no, that is not it at all. "
What should I do? I try to keep myself busy on other stuff but I am young and sometimes have needs too. Sometimes I was thinking maybe I should just sleep with any random guy but I still love my husband and really don't want to betray him.
Any advice/suggestions? PLease help!
2007-02-21 11:36:57 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Someone suggests me to lose weight, but I am happy the way I am. I am 5'6'' and 120 pounds, fairly good looking.
My husband had a history of depression, but he has been okay for awhile now and he is not on any anti-depression drugs.
2007-02-21 11:49:22 · update #1
Having sex with some random guy won't solve any problems in your marriage. There is obviously something wrong with your husband. I would suggest that you get your hubby to the Dr, and have a full check up. If that doesn't find the problem, I would get into marriage counseling. Unless he wants to talk about what is the problem , it won't get any better.
I read your edit, with a history of depression, and a lack of sex drive would indicate that the depression is affecting your husband. If he was treating with a mental health professional, then he should contact them to begin treatment again, and he should get to the Dr. Depression should not go untreated.
As far as people saying you should alter yourself, well, frankly they are uninformed people. You are not responsible for his depression. But you can help him by getting him the help he needs.
Best of luck to you and your husband.
2007-02-21 11:41:57 · answer #1 · answered by I_Love_Life! 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Could be depression, ED, excessive stress or some other medical disorder.
I think the problem isn't so much the fact that he is not having sex with you but rather the fact that he doesn't feel like he can tell you why he does not. Maybe counseling or a medical check-up would be in order?
2007-02-21 11:59:38 · answer #2 · answered by Leroy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your concern. I think that the problem could possibly be that he is tired from working and maybe some other issues that are weighing on his mind that you may not be aware of. I would let him know that you support him and see if he will talk to you about the problem..however keep in mind that it could also be a health issue that may need to be treated. I would just make sure that he knows that you are there for him..I wish you the best!
2007-02-21 12:11:29 · answer #3 · answered by Maybe I am a smartass..so what 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you've been married for a little over a year... but how long did you date before that? what kinds of things are weighing heavily on your husbands mind that he's stressed and tired? i don't think you need a divorce attorney, i think you need marriage counseling. or perhaps he needs to see a therapist to help with his depression. i can understand the frustration you're going through, but if there's something wrong with your relationship especially if that something is depression, then i would think you'd want to get help for that... not where it's all about the sex you're not getting.
2007-02-21 11:44:38 · answer #4 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow it is rare for a 25 year old guy not to have sex for 2 months.
I would sit and have a serious conversation with him. Don't attack just be upfront and truthful with him. Tell him you love him and are concerned. If he does not give you any answers ask him if he would be willing to go to counseling. If he says no, you need to think about this and figure out if this is a deal breaker.
2007-02-21 11:46:51 · answer #5 · answered by luv3dbb 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your husband and explain how this is causing a problem in your marriage. Ask him if he thinks it's normal for two young married people not to have a regular sex life. Then ask him what you can both do to comprise on this problem
If he won't talk to you about it.....get some counseling for yourself to help you with some options.....cheating is never an option.
2007-02-21 11:47:05 · answer #6 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can get frustrating when you are turned down. Have you ever tried to do something to place him in the mood for love? Maybe it will work . It would work as well if you can probe more why he feels this way. Clue in to what he feels . Its not worth it to sleep with other men if it will make you feel guilty afterwards.
2007-02-21 11:55:33 · answer #7 · answered by bittersweetlove21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know he really could be stressed. He may have problems medically like ED and be too embarassed to tell you or see a doctor about it. there are a lot of reasons and only he knows what they are. You'd best sit down adn tell him what you've been thinking so that he knows how desperate you feel and that you want to understand and help him.
2007-02-21 11:43:00 · answer #8 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get the sexiest piece of lingerie you can find. Maybe he has become bored with the same old same old? Do a dirty dance for him and if he still doesn't respond ( as expected) then maybe you both need to see your doctor or a relationship therapist. LoL my heart goes out to you
2007-02-21 11:55:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This isn't what you want to hear, but you know exactly what the answer is in your heart: The guy is cheating on you.
NO 25 year old guy, EVER, has chosen to go 2 months without sex if he was able to get it. No guy ever.
Or, you disgust him sexually.
2007-02-21 11:51:57 · answer #10 · answered by Faint 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋