He and my mom just separated...and I mean JUST. She's been out of the house for 2 going on 3 weeks. He's really taking it hard and I'm not sure why...because he was the one who forced her to leave. He was ALWAYS screaming at her calling her names and threatening her, he even pushed her around some, and telling her to leave or else. I know that's bad but now that she's gone he's even more depressed than he was before. He doesn't go to work, he cries a lot, doesn't sleep, and he's pretty much a vegetable around the house. It breaks my heart to see him like that. He's really not a bad person and he loves me very much...he says he really misses me when I'm away at my mom's house...please how do I help him? How do I deal with it? I don't want him to be depressed, but he's been on medicine, he's been to the doctor and even visited a therapist some but nothing seemed to help. What can I do?
2007-02-21 09:55:03 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You struck a big nerve when I saw this question, cause I am going through the same thing right now. It's like I'm reading about me. My husband was being just the way you talk about your Dad, and I had to go or I was going to lose what little bit of sanity I had left. It has been 6 months and I have days when I just want to call and say lets talk and work things out then I start thinking about all of the mean things he said to me and I just can't. My child(adult) is hurting too and I wish I could help her, but all of my strength is gone. He took that from me. the best advice I can give you is to keep talking to both of them and find out if you can what each of them are feeling, to know if you think there a chance of them getting back together. Just continue to llove them both equally and don't take sides. It's no one persons fault and it's between them. You didn't say how long they've been married but I assume it's been quite a few years. I hope if there's any hope at all that they do get back together, but he has to be willing to let up on her a little bit if he wants her back, and spend more time appreciating her instead of yelling at her and driving her away, which he also need to take responsibility for, then they may have a chance if they are willing to sit down together and figure out what happened to get this started in the first place. I wish you and your parents all the Love and Hope in the world.
2007-02-21 10:41:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if your father has been depressed for 2 years, I am guessing that their relationship has been bad for even longer. He is starved for the emotional and physical connection that he once shared with your mother. I don't think he will recover without having someone new to share that with. He needs some meaning in life.
2007-02-21 18:18:09 · answer #2 · answered by Martin Pedersen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Exercise stimulates "happy" chemicals in our brains, as does direct exposure to sunlight. Consider going on a long walk with your dad everyday, or getting him to play soccer or basketball with you. This will also help him to get out of the house and lets him know that you are there for him without being pushy.
2007-02-21 18:02:01 · answer #3 · answered by RedBirdy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your dad maybe feels more sad because he knows he pushed her away and treated her bad. He has an illness and needs some serious counseling for his depression and anger. I know you feel bad, but the only thing you can do is see it out with him and let him know you are there.
2007-02-21 18:03:01 · answer #4 · answered by sweetpee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go get your mom and tell her whats happened, she'll be feeling bad and upset too, get them to talk, why dont you book a table at a resturant for two, tell dad to come out with you, then ask mom to meet you at the resturant, then when they together tell then you love them both and ask them to sit and just have a drink together, something to eat, if you can get them to talk to each other that would be very positive. or you could buy two copies of that book men are from mars women are from venus, and let them have a copy each. apart from that you cant do much else but tell dad you love him. try and find a way to get them to talk and listen to each other
2007-02-21 18:04:19 · answer #5 · answered by fast eddie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my dad has been in a depression for about five years. the only thing i have been able to do is just to let him know i love him and that i will always be there for him. try to spend more time with him and try not to be negative about it
2007-02-21 18:13:52 · answer #6 · answered by Rob 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry to hear that, but i hope everything will be okay later on, but however maybe ur father should go to talk someone else like a counseling?
2007-02-21 17:59:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋