Should I let my soon to be ex wife pay up for her share of the dept or just let it go and start new life. She is now a mom for a guy she left me for. The baby was not a plan thing and she vanshed from the face of the earth for about a year. Then we had a court date where I finally seen her. She was very upset with me and said that I need to take ALL the dept. Well a few weeks later she called me on my cell...shocked at first that it was her. she changed the way she spoked to me. Now she is saying "yes, I owe you but can you show me grace" I feel so bad for her. I do still care for her and her well being. She as a kid and no job and the amount she owes me is about $6,000. Should I just let it go and forgive and start my new life or have her pay for every cent?
2007-02-21 09:41:43 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
WOW....first of all, kudos to you, for even considering forgiveness, and moving on.
I think its wonderful that you are considering her current situation when considering how the debt should be split....I don't, however, think you should pay 100% of it.....if you would like to give her consideration, split it differently....say 60/40 or 70/30. But DO NOT put yourself in a precarious financial situation by being the nice guy....remember, nice guys don't get very far....you need to think of yourself, even in your moment of selflessness.
2007-02-21 09:50:53 · answer #1 · answered by salemgirl1972 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no right answer.
I suggest comparing the pros and cons of each situaiton.
If you think you and she will both be better people for forgiving the $6K, then do so.
If you think that you and she will be better people if you want some or all of the money, then go with that approach.
If you think she is manipulating you, then don't fall for it and hold fast to the $6K.
If you will sleep better at night knowing you forgave her of this debt then do so.
Personally, I think I'd want the $6K, but not expect it immediately. Get a judgement for it, and keep it current. That way, if her situation changes for the better in the future, such as she buys a home that appreciate, etc, you can file a lien on the home with your judgement in hand and she cannot sell the home without having to pay off your $6K plus interest and legal fees.
I don't know her, but I suspect she is playing on your sympathy.
Your call, you know better than me.
2007-02-21 09:53:56 · answer #2 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She owes you money no matter what. She chose the life that she has now and she left you for what she now has. She needs to own up and pay it and get a job. If everyone keeps letting her get away with things cause she knows how to talk to them and play them, she will never learn. Make her pay and don't think nothing of it. Did she think of your feelings when she did what she did?
2007-02-21 09:51:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
have her pay for every cent, you can't go through life supoprting everyone else
if its your plan to support other people and pay off other peoples debt then let me be the first in line because you are such a nice guy and graceous
just because she has a kid now or whatever position SHE put herself into is not your fault or your problem, whats yours is yours and you should never allow someone to weasel their way out of their responsibility towards you, no matter how graceous and generous you are feeling
2007-02-21 09:55:18 · answer #4 · answered by zether 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her make payments, but pay off the entire debt. $100/mo for 5 years? Her new guy can help her pay if he wants you out of her life.
2007-02-21 10:03:27 · answer #5 · answered by Martin Pedersen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the debt is in her name you could offer to pay half of it off but she is responsible for it. This is something that HAS to be in the divorce documents, if it is not her creditors can come to you for payment because the debts were incurred while you were still legally married. They can attach your wages, even require you to sell of YOUR personal property in order to pay off those bills.
2007-02-21 10:40:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1 set her up with a payment plan or
2 just move on and be glad you never have to deal with her again.
i would take the second option
2007-02-21 10:18:57 · answer #7 · answered by jude D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you just let it go......then you can just let her go and
move on. As long as you try to make her pay you will still
have ties to her and drama.
What is more important to YOU........moving on or the money??
However, if you do let the debt go you need to let her know
that you are letting it go and that she need NOT contact
you ever again.
Personally, if she doesnt have money or a job......you are never
going to get the money anyway...........so I would say just move on and let it go.
2007-02-21 09:47:20 · answer #8 · answered by Trish 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Let it go, sometime someone will repay you the favor when you need help be the bigger person i would call her and tell her you are writing off her debt, so she can thank you for it. Good luck.
2007-02-21 09:48:07 · answer #9 · answered by chiefs fan 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why should you pay for her mistakes. She should pay her fair share of the debt incurred during the term of your marriage.
2007-02-21 09:51:43 · answer #10 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋