We have been married for a short period of time and I feel like she grills me when I get home from work with questions like...Where were you? Did you gamble today? She doesn't trust me all the time... I feel like I always have to defend myself when all i do is work hard for my family. I do a lot of projects around th ehouse from building fences,fixing walls,tiling,repairing windows, you name it I can do it. She nags me before the project starts to when it ends. she gets upset about me making a mess and she can't see the good the "outcome" of the project. Everything is negative and I look at the projects Iv'e complted and I think to myelf "what a waste of time what a waste of fighting" I feel like she puts up rode blocks all over the place... There is a lot of tension between us and I'm not staying at our home right now(it's been4 days) we are going to a counsler tomorrow..
I agreed to go but things just aren't the same anymore. My feelings are hurt A LOT but I stll love her. HELP?
2007-02-21 09:32:17 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hmmm. Did you used to have a gambling problem? Maybe she is just scared for you and the family.
Instead of letting her grill you maybe just answer her before she asks....call on the way home. Hi sweetie, I just left work, Im headed straight home and should be there in about 15. Offer to stop and pick up something if she needs it.....
This is assuming that she has good reason for past trust issues.
If not,,,, well she is being too hard on you.
As for projects. Just say don't you remember how you felt before I built the fence? You have to admit that turned out well right?
"Trust me...I am just trying to make our house nice for our family" etc....
2007-02-21 09:38:03 · answer #1 · answered by cathoratio 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi! Sorry to hear your news. Sounds like your wife is very lonely and would like to spend more time with you. I think that's why she nags you she wants your attention, I use to do that alot to when I was in a relationship, sometimes people get very lonely even in a relationship. I hope things workout. Do you ever have anytime off work? if so you should try and take your wife somewhere so that you both can talk and the most important thing in a relationship is communication so you both need to talk for real. I'm sure that when you both have sometime together you will see a very big difference in your wife's attitude she will be much happier to have you to herself once in a while
Well good luck and take care.
2007-02-21 17:44:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would she ask where were you if you got home when you should have and why ask you if you gambled today, could it be you have a gambling problem and she is streesed out over money? Now as far as fixing stuff around the house that is great, it saves money if you do it yourself, and the mess part I do understand, I love to remodle but man do I hate the mess. I hope counsle helps, but be ready to here something you may not want to. good luck
2007-02-21 19:03:02 · answer #3 · answered by emma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wished my husband would do a lot of those things... I surely would not nag! ... you are with the wrong person. I would like to hear her side of the story, though. It's never good to stay around someone who isn't healthy for you.... I'm sure she isn't enjoying the nagging either. Nobody nags for no reason.... she clearly is annoyed by something. Good luck to both of you- divorced or married.
2007-02-21 17:42:14 · answer #4 · answered by justmemimi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See if you can get some real answers from her in counseling, and you be honest too. There are obviously some underlying issues besides the house projects etc. Make sure you both try and understand what the real issue is. Go from there.
2007-02-21 17:39:12 · answer #5 · answered by me! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sounds like a good man. I am sorry your wife doesn't seem to appreciate you. Have you told her how you feel, how her comments and actions affect you? Have you sat beside her and said, "picture how this project will look when its finished?" just t thought. Try communicating with her. You obvious love her, what could be the cuase of her frustration, nagging and bitterness?
2007-02-21 17:38:45 · answer #6 · answered by Euphoria 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've got two things for you to think about. (1) She's a control freak, and normally that comes out of (2) having a very low self-esteem.
I've been there myself. Those that have to control others or know the minutia of everything someone else does (me and my ex-husband), usually have problems with themselves. It doesn't make it any easier, but I think the counseling is a great first step.
Good luck!
2007-02-21 17:37:20 · answer #7 · answered by CG 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well the counseling is a good start, but its going to take her as well to make things work.... and im sure the counselor will be helpful in ways you can stop this constant bickering, with you out of the house she may see what she is doing to you, or it may lead to more of not trusting you... it sounds like a trust issue or control issue but you will find out tomorrow so good luck....
2007-02-21 19:40:31 · answer #8 · answered by Renee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, she seems overbearing and obnoxious. But, if you love her she must have some good points. As for the gambling.... did you use to have a problem? Anyway.... I hope the counselor works out. Be VERY honest.
2007-02-21 18:40:36 · answer #9 · answered by rhonda y 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's my wife to some extent. It is certainly hard on a relationship.
Trying to communicate doesn't help.
Nearly 13 years together so far. Mostly started after we got married 6 years ago.
Wait til she tells you to watch your spending for a few months straight while she is buying useless crap like additional shoes.
2007-02-21 17:41:01 · answer #10 · answered by Martin Pedersen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋