My Ex Will Not Release Our Child Tonite! Is he breaking the law?

Question

The man is an alcoholic. Drug abuser. Bum. He is currently claiming mental illness so he will not have to work. Lives with mom. In his 40's. He is trying to control me still. My adult daughter helps me alot. She was going to pickup our younger after visitation tonite cuz I have a commitment. Its a school nite. He told my oldest that he would not release our daughter unless I picked her up. But he sends his mom (the enabler) to pick up our youngest from me all the time.

What should I do tonite?

He eventually agreed to release our child to a relative of mine. Once we were safe at home for the evening he began telephone harassment. He tried to get me to argue with him thru our child. I did not respond and had to take the phone and hang up on him. He is nuts. I am seeing a very good family law atty this week. Thanks for all your posts.

Answer 1

Does you custody papers say that anyone certain much pick up the child? If not you are fine and may call the cops if he refuses to release the child.

Answer 2

Lemme get this straight: When you married him did you know he was like this? You say you have an adult daughter. So why did you have another child with him later if his is an alcoholic/drug user? These behaviors aren't typically something that emerges suddenly during middle-age. You must have known for a long time.

Sounds like this is a problem of your own making. I feel bad for your kid, and hope everything works out. But you need to look in the mirror and take some responsibility.

Answer 3

First, would contact your attorney if you have one. If not, contact your local Friend of the Court or child advocate office for assistance. If you have a written court order for certain parenting time then you need to seek the judge's help in enforcing the terms of the order. These is a very messy issue and it is always hard to suggest what to do. But, you must keep in mind what is in the best interest of the child and not use your anger towards your ex as your motivation. Of course, document everything you have attempted to do to get your child back. If these options are not available at this time, and you have a valid court order, you may seek the assistance of the local law enforcement agency to enforce return of the child to you if this is your specific designated time to have the child with you. If you can get in touch with your lawyer, follow whatever advise he/she give you. Good luck.

Answer 4

Go pick up your daughter.

You cannot dictate things outside the agreement.

You may want to gather evidence to show family court he's an alcoholic, and have his un-supervised visit time reduced because your child is in danger.

Don't stop his mom from picking up your child. Would you want your child driving with your drunk ex? And it's about the child, not you. So don't do the bad thing the ex does that you don't like.

If there's an issue it's the drinking, and that endangers your child. If it really is an issue then address it.

Answer 5

Disregard the rude guy below- Listen, having been down this road with a sociopathic ex- I can tell you that unless your custody agreement specifies that you, personally, must pick up the child, you are entitled to make any arrangements necessary to get the child home, as long as the child is picked up by a responsible adult. By violating the time frame of the court order , your ex is in contempt. In order to enforce this you will, however, need to show up at his door with the police and a copy of the custody order. So it may be in your best interest to avoid the drama (for your child's sake) and just rearrange your schedule to pick up the child yourself. In the grand scheme of things you need to choose your battles so your child's memories of his/her youth are not entirely made up of his/her parents fighting and playing a game of "who did what to whom". Be the bigger person, the priority is your child. Best of luck to you.

Answer 6

Ahhhh.....the wonders of the many tiny loopholes left open for manipulation. Really there's nothing you can do but go and pick your child up yourself. Next step is get a lawyer and fine tune your arrangements to include people you give permission to pick her up. The courts truely hope people will get beyond petty stuff but unfortunatly....most don't. He could essentially get in trouble for releasing your child to someone else if one cares to go by the letter of the law. Just as you could for releasing your child to the grandma. Just depends how nit-pickey people want to get. Alter your committment and get your child tonight and call a lawyer for clarification and follow up letters to him and his attorney first thing tomorrow.

Answer 7

Really he is not breaking any laws. It all depends whats in the custody papers. As long as your ex don't take the child out of town or return the child in a reasonable amount of time, then you can probably do something about it, but as long as the child is not in any danger, there is nothing you probably can do.

Answer 8

If you have custody arrangements that say the day of return call the police if not you are kind of stuck on that one call friend of the court to file a complaint we deal with That almost monthly with our kids

Answer 9

Go get your daughter!!! . Does your oldest usually go get her? If so you should get there stat. If not maybe he has some reason for not letting her leave with her. I would delay your commitment for an hour or so and take care of the kids. They come first.

Answer 10

Go pick up your kid! It's partially yours too! If he's alcoholic, keep the kids away from him. Stand up to him and say " I've already battled you once, don't make me battle you again!" And it's considered kidnapping, so get police involved and get him in a mental hospital QUICK!