Im at uni and this is my first year, one of my long time childhood friends is also at the same uni and we're at the same halls of residence but lately, he's just broken all contact, he knows i dont like clubbing as much as he does, so he goes with people he knows and now I say to him if you're going let me know so I can go with him and his mates and he doesn't invite me or keep in contact, doesnt pick up the phone, he just hangs around with those lot now, so im feeling neglected and that I am losing my best and oldest friend. They dont really give a damn about him, theyve just brainwashed him by going out everyday, hes started smoking and missing lectures, I also feel unsociable and that Im doing nothing but concentrating on my studies and I just feel life is passing me by and he's enjoying life and I want to be like that but I also want to concentrate on my course and not smoke and miss lectures. I dont mind drinking its's just smoking and drugs.
What Should I do ?
2007-02-21 09:30:28 · 16 answers · asked by confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
because of this problem, I feel I maybe falling into depression.
2007-02-21 09:31:12 · update #1
I knew a guy who was very nice and respectable until we got to college and he became addicted to getting drunk at frat parties. His grades, of course, went down, but he stuck with his lifestyle.
Soooooooo....what good would it do if you followed your friend to the clubs and started smoking and doing drugs?
If you did that, you wouldnt really be solving anything. You might feel "included" in the sense that you'd be hanging out with your best friend, BUT look at what you'd be Doing.
I'd recommend that you stick to studying. Why? because I dont know about anyone else here on Yahoo! but, it SUCKS and is VERY DEPRESSING to be poor, earn meager wages, or even be homeless ALL because you didn't FOCUS ON YOUR EDUCATION. My uncle is a prime example. He got a four year degree but barely got by on Cs and Ds because he started drugs in college.
Friends come and go, but college wont.
These are supposed be some of your great years when you embark on adulthood and begin actually finding yourself.
In addition, dont feel "unsociable" just because you are choosing to concentrate on your work. What the heck else is college supposed to be for anyway? I'm sure you might find other people on campus who are about as serious as you are.
You may lose your best friends to drugs but dont lose YOURSELF.
2007-02-21 09:47:57 · answer #1 · answered by What gives? 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you and I was there 2 years back. If I were to do it all over again I would do this: 1. Get Bach remedy for depression and confidence - I think its Larch and Hornbeam 2. Will take an effort on a thursday evening and cook for all the flatmates and make a very friendly gesture to bond 3. Will take time to get to know some people in the lecture halls 4. Will be kind, courteous and appreciate of everyone I meet; and will exude vibes of confidence and gentleness 5. Will join societies in the university 6. Will take out sometime to volunteer 7/ Will make an appointment with University Counselling Team (therapist), which is totally free and give additional support 8. Will take time to go through lecture notes 2 hours a day 9. Will take time to unwind every week, atleast for a movie ( you get student discounts for movie tickets); also would invite friends 10. Will join for some sports like tennis, golf etc
2016-03-29 06:08:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of people change drastically when they go off to school. It's sad when it's a good friend, but there's really nothing to do about that relationship. You won't be able to change him, and you should NOT change to be more like him. You are definitely doing the right thing by prioritizing your studies, and you will be very glad that you made that choice in the long term. As for now, there are a lot of other people at the university, look for a different crowd to hang out with that you share more common interests and ideals. Hopefully your friend is just going through a phase and will eventually come to his senses, so don't totally blow him off, just don't depend on him for your social life. Just because you've been good friends for a long time does not mean that he is the only person you can spend time with.
2007-02-21 09:36:55 · answer #3 · answered by derelicthypotheses 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey man I've been there. It's difficult but maybe it's time to try and find other friends.
Try rushing for a fraternity, try joining different events around campus. Start researching different clubs and events and attend them!
If you're dorming at school you should get to know some of the people in your building.
Talk to the people in your class! Even if you don't make friends right away, you might see them outside of class and you will have more reasons to be able to talk to them since you made the effort in a previous less awkward social situation.
You're not depressed, you're just lonely, cheer up mate.
2007-02-21 09:36:44 · answer #4 · answered by Patrick D 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to focus on your school. I know that you are feeling hurt about your friend, but you should not dwell on it so much, it actually puts you into depression. Try joining a school activity or taking a walk sometimes to keep your mind off of it. You can do things and still have time for school work. Sitting alone and stewing about the bad things in your life does not help. Trust me, I have been there. Look around for a couple of people that you can relate to. If your best friend still continues to ignore you, then maybe the friendship is over. It is his loss.
2007-02-27 14:48:34 · answer #5 · answered by kmf77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey man... U ar @ universty nw.. M sure dat u r enough matured to choose the right disicions 4 ur life... Wel, wot i think is dat: he no longer wants ur friendship.. I dnt think if he's acceptin u like da way u r.. Jst concentrate ur studies cz wot u r lookin for is a bright future whch comes 4rm having knowledge.. Jst try to hang up wid any respective n bright student n try to make ur new friend.. Dont worry changes wil come..
2007-02-21 09:55:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
people change. College is a new experience, and your friends want to experience different things. Surround yourself with friends that have your same intererests, not just partying. Let your friend make his own choice about what he wants to do with his life, but always be there to help him out in case he needs some advice. Hopefully he'll come to his right mind, specially when his grades come around and he sees the effect of what he's been doing with himself.
2007-02-21 09:35:52 · answer #7 · answered by GC 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just try and talk to him first about this and if he acts like an *** to you then just drop em. You can obviously see he's going down the wrong path. Smoking the mary jane and doin drugs wont get you anywhere in life. Find new friends and do good in school
2007-02-21 09:37:04 · answer #8 · answered by inmaniak 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok so here is the deal....You either play now and be a loser for the rest of your life or you study hard for a couple of years and have a successful life.....Studying hard for a couple of years doesnt mean that you cant have fun....Have fun without your friend who ignored you and just forget about him.....You will be the the cool guy/girl in the end...Good Luck
2007-02-23 13:29:40 · answer #9 · answered by CG 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 choices
1 do ur best, although clubbing and partying or just even hanging out with friends seem addicting and wanting, your in college do your best, study study study lol and when your out in the real world, you'll be satisfied
2 if a social relationship is seriously needed, make friends, join a club, w.e this is college it should be easy to find fun ;)
2007-02-21 09:34:44 · answer #10 · answered by Mr. KH 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋