Will woman of today walk through the tough times with their husbands or is that a thing of the past?

Question

My grndfolks have been married some 55 years! My other grandfolks, well my grandma is widowed and she stayed married untill my grandpa died of many things at age 76. They stayed together through thick and thin. Grandpa loved her sooo much! Even at the end of his life he took care of her financially and she is set if she does it right, for the rest of her life.
This is awesome and sets a wonderful legacy for all of us in the family. Yet todays woman younger, scare me. Divorce rates are soaring, at an all time high. well over 50% getting divorced these days and man, its like we treat marriage like buying a used car. It wares out so go get a new one. I mean we take something so deeply intimate and sacred and we cheapen it here in America.
Most men when they see a girl see sex. Me I see future generations of family comming from her. I see her years in the future when she's old and grey being so honared by family and a home filled with beautiful pictures of generations of her love.

In all fairness allow me to clarify that its not just woman. Men are the worst offenders. I have to confess I have an uncle who has been married 8 times. 8 TIMES! That is horrible and I whitnessed yet another uncle on my mothers side tell his wife to lose weight or they would divorce. I hated him for that but have since forgiven as it is Gods will for me to. I have experienced those making their mistakes around me and I simply mean to say I don't desire this outcome for my or my future family's life. Where are the good ones at and where did they go? Maybe I need to try a foreign land or something. Hehehe. Just kidding, it's all in God's hands. I KNOW I can trust him. What is happening today just breaks my heart and well, I am gun shy to say the least!

Answer 1

can i have your number (= it's hard to find a guy like this....i stick with my man through everything cuz thats just what you do!

Answer 2

The difference between your grandparents and present day people is in their view of gender roles.

Traditional gender roles made men and women depend on each other permanently. And such interdependence made their marriages stable. The guy always thought that he needed a woman to take care of his home and kids. And the woman always thought that she needed a man to earn the money for her and the kids.

But now many men and women don't believe in traditional gender roles any more. Both men and women became polymaths capable of doing everything by themselves, except having kids. And having kids doesn't take long. A year or two or three, the kids are born, and it's time for divorce.

Of course, people didn't loose their traditional gender roles on their own. They've had a lot of help from new divorce laws and government social programs that enabled single mothers with kids to live relatively well. Just a couple generations ago this kind of thing was very difficult and often virtually impossible.

When people don't need to stay together, then why would they want to compromise and work out any serious disagreements and family problems? It's easier just to get divorced and let everybody to have their way.

This is freedom. But of course freedom has it's price. And in this case, the price is lack of relationship security.

You can be married today and divorced tomorrow at the whim of your spouse. And when such a divorce can ruin your life, the perhaps staying single and not getting married at all is the safer option.

You can be committed to marriage all you want. But when laws allow frivolous divorce and the government helps divorced people with kids to live well, then there is no guarantee that your partner won't take the easy option and leave you when things get tough.

Answer 3

It all depends on the love and affection you have for one and another. If you care deeply for someone nothing will screw it up unless of course one of the spouses ends up cheating. The amount of divorce is very sad but if you point it side by side to the percentage of married couples cheating they about equal so
it just means that the smart spouse is not going to put up with
cheating and ends the relationship. Things are harder this day and age for many to have a long and loving relationship if you ask your grandparetns they will probably tell you that God has always been apart of there lives. Jesus and the heavenly father
help many people get through the trials and ups/downs of marriage most divorce is the work of marriages that have not gone to God for help and guidance.

Answer 4

Why are you blaming women. The men of the world are equally to blame for the decrease in long term marriages and the increase in divorce. In fact, most stories for divorce that I hear are the man cheating on the women.

Are you saying that a women should stand by her man, even if he cheated. That's not right. A women should not sacrifice her own happiness for a man.

You seem to get it. But, other men don't. If a man cheats on his wife, he doesn't respect her in the ways that you respect a women. That's dishonest and degrading to women.

A women should not have to put up with that, because somewhere there is a man who will respect and honor, just as you mentioned.

You seem like an honest guy. But, you need to see things from other perceptive. Women are not to blame for failed marriages. In some cases, the man or even both parties are to blame.

I wonder if you honor and respect women as much as you say, considering you have old fashioned ideas of a women succumbing/obeying a dishonest husband.

Answer 5

I agree with a lot of the things that you said. Sadly people are getting married thinking that if it doesn't work out there is always divorce. My parents are still married and their parents were married until one died. Those were the examples I grew up with, that marriage is sacred. Too many kids grow up in broken homes and don't have those positive images of marriage at home, so they don't really expect anything to last. Very sad.

Answer 6

My hubby and I have been married for over 36 years and I just don't see younger folks putting in the hard work it takes to make a marriage work. Even one of our own kids who have had good role models ( both sets of grandparents and ourselves) has gone through husbands like they are glasses of water. It's a shame because there is nothing like growing old with the love of your life...

Answer 7

marriage is a great thing and should only be entered in to wit an open heart, wise mind, and a hell of a lot of strengh, nothing is easy in life and no matterif you are single, with a partner or married you will always have tought times, and if the person you chose to be with cant deal with that, do you really want to be with them so you can support them when they needed? me i will stick by man through the thick thin, till some one makes me leave his side, thats how mariage should be x

Answer 8

I have the utmost confidence that my wife will be with me till my dying day. There will always be differences in any relationships but the people who fight to stay alive will make it through. I agree people get married with the idea that if it doesn't work then we'll just go our separate ways. Marriage is a lifetime.

Answer 9

It is possible for women to stick with their man through thick and thin but the man needs to give the woman something to stick to. You as the man needs to provide a secure future for your mate. I don't mean just financial. Money comes and goes but if you can show that your feelings are true and deep your woman would walk to the ends of the earth for you. Don't change your way of thinking. She's out there waiting for you!

Answer 10

i do no longer think of you're over-reacting, i would be sure your element o.k.. besides the incontrovertible fact that, i could be much greater in contact in the event that they have been "new" human beings in his existence, no longer human beings from 10 yrs in the past that he buddies with sexually and specific has no intentions of reuniting with. Myspace is a huge cyber web of randomness and perchance he continues to be buddies with some human beings from extreme college that still know those human beings. I doubt he actively sought those human beings out and asked them to be his myspace buddies. If he did, then that's a reason for project in itself. at an analogous time because it is not precisely a sin to be curious with reference to the whereabouts of human beings you used to spend time with, that is thoroughly yet another to proceed to talk with them, at an analogous time as married, approximately intercourse or something in that realm. provided that this could be a sparkling marriage and your key to survival is communication, i might say something rather of fester in anger. he's going to renowned that something is misguided and he won't know why. that isn't any longer precisely honest nor does it remedy something. i think of the actual wedge could be in case you turn a blind eye on your emotions, get it obtainable and you'd be chuffed you probably did.

Answer 11

You bet - a mature, loving woman will.
And, charmer and sweetie that you sound like, you will have someone by your side for a very long time. That's how my husband sees me, and us. We've been married almost 18 years, and have been through terrible times - financially, emotionally, healthwise - but our love is stronger and deeper than ever, and we have tons of fun, love and lust to last us a long time yet!
There's a woman out there who is very lucky indeed, if she and you find one another. Sigh.....