My husband has been acting different,? since working the night shift @ work...?

Question

I dont know what wrong with him. he wont say anything to me about what he feel, I can only guess. he wont touch me we have not had sex in 2 months, he been distance. I tried to talk to him, but now just about to give up. next week I am leaving him this is mental abuse, I cant take it any longer. should I leave, and what do you think about the deal?

He is different he is so tired, he sleep all day when I am at work. I try to get close he get very distance, he had a affair about 8 yrs ago at work. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO THINK...

Answer 1

i think u should either set him straight or get out of there. he is obviously cheating just look at the obvious signs.

Answer 2

I think it would be best if you talk to your husband first and find out what's causing his behavior. Tell him also that this is already affecting your relationship and tell him how you really feel. Make him open up to you. Ask his opinion about it also so that both of you could compromise or make some sort of arrangement that will help both of you bring the relationship back to how it was. Do not conclude right away that he is having an affair unless you find an evidence that will support your conclusion. Guys do not want to be accused of something, even if he really is into something. You will only get him to admit if he is indeed having an affair if you present a really good evidence. And you have to be ready for the outcome of whatever moves you are going to do. Be strong enough to accept. If you can forgive, find it in your heart to forgive and then start over again. Love is sweetest the second time around. Good luck!! :)

Answer 3

First of all I think you really need to try to talk to him again...don't just ask him what's wrong but perhaps mention the things that have changed and how you're feeling.

Second of all, working night shift is REALLY hard on many people. People who work the night shift or swing shifts are more likely to become depressed and a lot of it depends on their sleep and their exposure to light. Our exposure to light plays a big role in our ability to reset our body's clock & when people aren't sleeping according the the light it can have a lot of problems. So if this started with his working at night...perhaps this may be playing a part. Best of luck m'dear.

Answer 4

I've worked night shift for 8 years and it wreaks havoc on your system. Maybe he can't take it. A little burn out can be in the works. Also, I have heard that mental stress and fatigue can cause temporary impotence witch a man would not take lightly. And find even harder to talk about. Do tests, use your erotic or even pornographic imagination and play to his ego a bit. If that doesn't work?!?!? 2+2=

Answer 5

don't just leave that's too extreme, and I doubt it's what you want. If it is then go for it and don't blame it on him by screaming mental abuse.

You need to talk to him, tell him you want to know why he's distant, and your worried and distressed, and you can't handle the distance. Tell him that if he doesn't talk about it then you can't help him, and that you need his love or else you will have to get love from somewhere else. Make sure he understands exactly how you feel, and if he can't talk about it, or give a good reason not to talk about it, then you should leave.

It's not mental abuse.

Answer 6

O. M. G. What a lazy bas*ard! Sorry, yet he's! i in my view sense for you. you could desire to have a communication with him, whilst he's wakeful, approximately this. you're the two working, so he can not play the "i'm at artwork all day, you could sleep whilst he sleeps" card- it ought to be a 50/50 split. Be truthful with him- say what you have pronounced right here, bearing directly to the way you sense like a unmarried mum so which you're thinking in case you will desire to besides grow to be one, and which you somewhat want your husband to furnish you help- propose a device the place you're taking it in turns, so Monday you arise at the same time with your son, Tuesday he does, etc. this way you're the two certain a nighttime's sleep another nighttime and he's familiar with in develop of going to mattress he's envisioned to tug his weight and arise. you in addition to would would desire to tell him how exhaustion is affecting your artwork overall performance- how could he sense in case you lost your month-to-month earnings? Failing this, refuse to cook dinner for him, wash/ iron his outfits, do any housekeeping (different than that rapidly suitable to you and infant), considering you're "too drained as you're by no skill getting any sleep" and recommend he does those as he's getting a solid nighttime's sleep so can not probably be a drained as you interior the evenings. If it nonetheless does not artwork you could would desire to easily settle for the fact he's a lazy sod and evaluate your life at the same time!

Answer 7

You need to get your husband to open up and talk with you about what it is that is making him distant. No lovemaking for 2 months is reason for concern. If he still does not agree to talk to you then he leaves you no choice but to find out on your own. Drop by during work hours unannounced. Offer to meet him during his lunch break as a chance to spend time together. I know this sounds like spying, but you need to get your answers somewhere or you will be out in limbo. Best of luck to you!

Answer 8

The shift change made him brain dead and everything else. It will get better after 6 months of adjustments to different time functions.
No, you hang in there. You need to make the adjustment together. Get all dolled up everyday without saying anything. The hormones will KICK-IN soon !

Answer 9

No don't leave. I had to work nights for a while and I hated every moment of it. Your sleep schedule gets off, you social life suffers and for me everything felt out of whack. I think you need to be supportive and help him to find another job if that's what he wants

Saw your additional comments. That's exactly what happens when you work the night shift - Like I said; your sleep schedule gets off kilter and you have no one to talk to because you are not on the same clock as the rest of the world.

Answer 10

Seek counselling maybe tell him you cannot deal with him since he has started the night shift and that you are thinking of seperation if something doesn't change. Ask him why he is so distant with you? Does he have female staff that work with him
maybe he is screwing around and is being distant so you don't
find out.

Answer 11

People have internal clocks, if he is only acting different since starting then night shift, try not to assume it has anything to do with you or sex. I once changed over to a night shift and it took me awhile to adapt to new hours, It did not mean I wasn't interested or in love anymore, it just meant that I was adjusting to new shift.
Try this: Have him lay flat on his back, and put all of "him" deep in your throat. Do not try to make him have a climax, just keep him still and warm as deep as you can. Use your throat muscles to massage him there and make deep pleasureful moans and gulps. Try to keep him still and comfortable for as long as possible. If possible try to keep him there until you or him or both go to sleep. This is a difficult time for him and he needs a comforting, non-threatening reassurance.Try to put aside your own needs and wants for sex to accomodate his new shift at work.Be willing and available to satisfy his needs for about 2 months, without touching or pleasuring yourself. Do not focus on your desires to have him please you, try to swallow and gulp him deep for as long as his adjustment period lasts. Do not pleasure yourself with hands or toys or others until you have held him deep like this for his needs. If you worry about his fidelity or his interest in you it will come between you and you may split as a result. Focus all of your desires for pleasure by taking him deep and long with no expected return of affection.
Remember, you goal is to keep him in as deep and long as possible, not to make him climax. If he wants an orgasm give him one, two whatever he needs without making him feel obligated to return the favor. Don't touch yourself or try to climax (even when he is not there), be there this way for him, he will eventually come to know how much you much need same type of intimacy.