My husband cheated on me and I confronted him. He denied everything. As a result of that, I got closed to his brother. We started messing around and now we have strong feelings for each other, it has been a year. I am still with my husband but things are not the same and I don't know what to do. I like my husband but I don't think I love him anymore. I am actually with him because we have two children and I don't have proof about him cheating. The only thing I have its calls, the girl saying they have kissed and after timed past his brother admitted to me that they had would meet at his apartment. I promise his brother I wouldn't say what he told me. My husband cheated on me and in the past he has been violent. Although, I know I now am doing the same. I feel that I love his brother but I know its wrong. What should I do?
2007-02-21 08:40:05 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
do nothing...and stay away from his brother...that is very very wrong....if u cannot stay with your hubby and the kiddos .. then get divorced but either way STAY AWAY FROM THE BROTHER--u will ruin his family...and remember this IS his family not yours
2007-02-21 08:43:43 · answer #1 · answered by sunbun 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sweety this is tough... I suggest counseling for you and your husband.
You need to be 100% sure that he is in fact having an affair, and usually evidence helps...
As for his brother: they say that this is common that two people (often family members) get closer when a relationship fails. This is not easy but if you know that your husband is cheating then you CAN NOT make the same mistake especially not with his brother. File for divorce and take some time away. If after a year you and the brother still long to be more then friends you may attempt a relationship, but keep in mind not to act on these feelings before the divorce is finalized.
If something comes of you and the brother before the divorce is finalized then you are at fault as much as your husband is. An affair is an affair no matter whom with, and honestly a judge tends to find more fault in a woman having an affair then a man... so take acre of first things first and then see what comes of your other relationships.
good luck.
Also if there is potential abuse involved this is a much more serious matter. you need to be concerned for your and your children’s safety... a divorce may anger your husband and though we hate to think of this sort of thing sometimes mothers and children do not survive an angry husbands rage. TRO's are not much help... so make your plans and let as many people THAT ARE TRUST WORTHY know about your problems, surround your self with happy helpful people... sometimes witnesses are required when informing someone violent of bad news such as a divorce.
2007-02-21 08:50:52 · answer #2 · answered by deep in thought 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have children, and that makes all the difference in the world. They need their mother and father at home and a stable environment for them to thrive in. You can't afford to run your life like a bad soap opera. This is a situation that will hurt people, cause arguments and bad feelings for a long time, and no matter how hard you try, the kids will know and learn from this how adults relate to eachother in the world. Dump the brother, stay with your husband and promise your children that you will keep their world calm and stable.
2007-02-21 08:55:56 · answer #3 · answered by Paul 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gosh aren't you two just two peas in a pod? Somehow it is okay for you and not for him. We'll leave that alone for now.
Staying together for the kids is always a mistake. Staying together because you don't have proof is surely a mistake. Fact is you are done with this abusive cheating man, and you need to get some backbone and move along with your life. End your suffering now. I suggest however, that you also do not hook with the brother, you are just asking for trouble and drama.
2007-02-21 08:50:53 · answer #4 · answered by javelin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether your husband cheated or not it does not make your relationship with his brother right. You are not only involving upsetting family members but worst yet, pregnancy. Your feelings for his brother are only from you reaching out for comfort and solace from the pain your marriage has caused you. I feel his brother took advantage of your vulnerability. If you are not able to fix your marriage, then my advice would be for you to get a divorce and discontinue any involvement with his brother which can only lead to disaster.
2007-02-21 08:53:12 · answer #5 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmmm....i think your brother in law is the one you shouldn't trust.....you have only his word that your husband cheated, yet he won't let you say anything?? sounds to me like he's getting "something" out of this whole situation.....namely you.
it's quite probable, if you take out the brothers "help", that your husband is innocent, and now you're the cheater.
You need to stop what you're doing with your brother in law immediately, cut off all contact with him and commit yourself to your family. Your feelings for the brother don't matter now, your children do.
Take yourself back home, and be the wife and mother you should be. If he cheated on you, and you ever find out for sure, forgive him and move on.
When your children are grown adults, you can be selfish, right now, they deserve a mother they can be proud of.
2007-02-21 08:47:32 · answer #6 · answered by salemgirl1972 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you married the wrong brother...........
However, what kind of a brother in a law was he, to be letting your husband meet another woman in his apartment without telling you???
As for your husband being violent, you should not allow any man to disrespect you that way.......you should probably divorce him, for your sake as well as your childrens...........
I'm sure my husband feels like kicking my *** sometimes, but he'll break sometime or sock the wall (rarely happens), but he has never hit me.....
Good luck...
2007-02-21 08:45:07 · answer #7 · answered by Dee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are very twisted in the head. You don't go through the whole family. Family is always off limits. You don't love him and neither of you respects the vows that you took before GOD. You both should get a divorce and find someone that can make you complete.
2007-02-21 08:46:51 · answer #8 · answered by Cherri 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband should dump you and his brother. You had no proof he cheated, his brother could have just been telling you that because he wanted you.
2007-02-21 08:44:37 · answer #9 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So now your both cheaters!! You need to come to some decision and either leave your husband or his brother. Trying to keep both is more trouble then you need or want.
2007-02-21 08:51:33 · answer #10 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they always deny it....I mean seriously, without being caught red handed (and what is the chance of that?!) they will deny everything....you have enough circumstantial evidence, that is all the proof you need.
Personally getting back at him with his own brother is what he deserves...I know that is evil, but what can I say?!
2007-02-21 08:43:45 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋