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My boyfriend has been feeling very unhappy with his job situation. He sent me a message yesterday that he feels so unhappy and stressed out. He has been applying for new jobs, after working the whole day. What is the best way to support him? I became very needy of him a couple of weeks ago, crying to him as he has become focused. He said he was sorry but he needed to focus. He said that I don't support him. I have started to give him space and things have improved but he is not as attentive as he used to be?

2007-02-21 08:38:54 · 12 answers · asked by Elisa N 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

12 answers

He has a "full plate: right now, Give him time, let him get his job situation under control, and he'll be back as attentive as ever, probably MORE so! Good Luck!!

2007-02-21 08:43:08 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0 0

Sounds like he is in a political situation at work, sometimes that requires a great deal of diplomacy to work through. If that is the case, the best support for him is the same support you would want if you were in that situation. Has there been a time when you needed to carefully plan each and every move, like a chess game? Everything you did was dependent upon what someone else does, and the other way too. Maybe that is why he is the way he is. Sometimes work things are a little cloudy. Think of it this way, remember as a kid when you accidentally said something that you knew you shouldn't have, now you just want to disappear? To stay friends with that person, you had to spend some time and re-establish. Maybe there is something like that he is involved in, maybe he goofed or maybe somebody goofed with him, now he has to chose the answer. That may not be easy, and he may be protecting someone from the fallout of the decision. Give him the support you would want, talk with him to help. In order for him to feel better when you do talk about the problem, focus on his perspective. Best wishes and good luck.

2007-02-21 10:18:24 · answer #2 · answered by Gary M 3 · 0 0

Firstly Im sorry to hear that his unhappy situation at work is affecting your relationship... You should go for a nice night out and relax together then ask him what he really wants to do for a career, once you know you can give some suggestions on how he can acheive this, also offer to check some things out for him in your spare time this will ease some of his stress....

You can find out about courses for what he wants to do, you could look in at the job centre and get a list of jobs avaiable in his feild,make general enquiries for him, you both need me time as in your own space, when you are together give him a nice massage run a bath for him, just talk about it with each other and be a good listener, as he may just need to sound off about his work, if he is stressed he wont be as attentive as he is under pressure dont worry about it, tyr jogging ,runnig or the gym together to bust his stress, suggest this to him.....

Hope it all works out for you take care and good luck

2007-02-21 08:52:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I know it couldn't be helped, but being down and stressed at the same time just won't work. For a man, his job is part of what defines him. I am sure he is very stressed out. If you can put your needs on the back burner for just a little while, until he gets a little more stability job wise, I am sure he will be just as supportive of you and your needs. This was just bad timing. He may not be paying attention to you, but you can pay attention to him and by doing so some of your needs will be met. It will all work out.

2007-02-21 08:49:13 · answer #4 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 0 0

Many men equate happiness at work with happiness at home. It's a tough balance to not let one affect the other. I too have had instances where I was not happy at work, and it certainly affected my relationships. The most important thing is to TELL HIM that you love and support him. You being stressed will stress him even more. With all of this being said, he also needs to realize that he can't be like this forever. He needs to make some decisions about his career get things in order.

2007-02-21 08:49:43 · answer #5 · answered by rotorhead911 2 · 0 0

My husband went through a phase like this.

Be positive. Don't criticize things he is doing with the job hunt, not even constructive criticism. And for all personal matters, back off and suck it up as best you can. He is going to slack off in helping out around the house, for example. Be understanding that he's feeling really depressed, and just pick up the slack for a little while.

2007-02-21 08:43:24 · answer #6 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0 0

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2016-10-16 04:51:31 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

Try to hang in there until his current jobs improves or until he finds another one. If things don't change after that, then leave.

2007-02-21 08:49:08 · answer #8 · answered by Cherri 4 · 0 0

when a man is unhappy at work he is unhappy in every thing the best thing you can do is give him space and lend him your ear good luck

2007-02-21 08:44:22 · answer #9 · answered by teadropsue 3 · 0 0

give plenty of space...he is going thru a rough patch right now

if things do not improve within a specified time frame...then time for u to move on

2007-02-21 08:41:55 · answer #10 · answered by sunbun 6 · 0 0

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