I have a best friend who is in a wheel chair and i find that loads of people treat her really differnet to when they are talking to someone else! Like for instance they are either way to OVER nice, or they treat her like a five year old when she is 14! like this one girl who is younger than her babys her, i just want to slap her! any one know?
2007-02-21 08:34:33 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
One of my best mates is in a wheelchair too and sometimes I feel myself getting ragged up by some comments made to him, but I have to remind myself how I speak to him sometimes...we take the absolute P**s out of each other.
Don't be too over protective. Your friend is in a wheelchair and this doesn't stop them from being able to stick up for themselves.
Be happy that people are speaking to your friend - some people never speak to to my mate and to be honest, I didn't know 'how' to speak to him until I'd had a few conversations with him and then I found out that her is just like everyone else...except he has dead little legs and lets me call him 'numb nuts'...(I know that I and probably him too would KILL anyone else for saying that to him)
When people speak to your friend, they don't know how far her 'disability' extends and really don't know what to expect. This means that they will often be way too nice...or even 'LOUD'! (They think my friend is deaf sometimes!)
If your friend gets upset, then you may be entitled to get upset as well but you must wait until she IS upset and then find out from her what you can do for her. Do not fight her battles for her. She won't appreciate it!
Be friendly - then you will truly be a best friend!
2007-02-21 08:58:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because people aren't taught or modeled how to treat someone with a disability. My brother had Down's Syndrome & I grew up w/people staring & gawking at him, making fun of him, imitating him & making rude comments about him. They were just ignorant. One should not treat someone in a wheelchair any differently than they would a person who drives a car versus taking the bus. Wheelchair or legs - still the same person who is getting around. People don't want to say or do the wrong thing. Sometimes the best way to educate people is just to politely come right out and tell them. As long as a person isn't rude about it, the direct approach can work wonders, such as "My legs don't work, but my brain works just like yours - you can treat me like you would anyone else.", and then smile. I would think your friend would be pretty sick and tired of people treating her this way. You sound like a good friend.
2007-02-21 08:42:41 · answer #2 · answered by Chimichanga to go please!! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people just automatically assume that people who are in wheelchairs or have other types of disabilities are helpless. this could not be further from the truth. i used to volunteer at a camp for kids with disabilities. i did so for 5 years and worked there for 1 year. all of the kids there were so up beat and they for the most part independent. now there were some who needed help but mainly they just needed someone who understood them and wanted to be with them. i know how you feel because when i volunteered and worked there people would just walk by and give them dirty looks or snicker or some other immature thing like that. that made me so mad. not only that but some of the people who were doing this were people who worked there too. in my eyes that is just plain uncalled for. people who have disabilities are people and have feelings too. some people are just so immature and could care less. tell your friend she is a great person and don't let people like this get her down. she is a strong person and she is going great places in life. hope this helps. good luck.
2007-02-21 08:43:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Quite often people think that if you have a physical disability youre also a bit simple minded. Its just not true. They dont always know how the person wants to be treated, and so they react strangely because they feel quite useless. They arent sure what kind of reaction they might get and are often scared of saying something inappropriate.
2007-02-21 08:40:18 · answer #4 · answered by jeanimus 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We used to have a family friend who was in wheel chair as kids we were taught be respectfull but one day asked how they lost their legs !! Followed by when will they find them? He wasn't different how else do you get grown up wheels at age six we used to get him out of it asap... Lovely chap sorely missed. Most feel uncomfortable because don't want to treat them different it just human reaction...
2007-02-21 09:01:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i also see that alot
its because they people feel bad
and dont want them to feel left out because there in a wheel chair but idont find why they should treat them differently
they are normal people even if they do sit in a wheel chair but i highly agree with u they shouldnt treat them now anybodyany differently i hope this helped
2007-02-21 13:06:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I get you. I personally, will act nice with you at first (like the usual). Then as we get more along, I'll joke with you. I'll be making fun of you in the wheel chair and what not. LOL, man i have good burns in my head...Anyways, that's me. But if she gets bothered, I'll stop. But hey, I ain't treating her differently from anyone. That's just me, girl. But it's up to her whether or not she likes that perspective and attention. You should ask her yourself. Maybe she likes it. Maybe she don't. It's all up to her, girl. Not you. Good Luck!
2007-02-21 08:41:29 · answer #7 · answered by Drivliam 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they want to make it obvious that they are cool with the fact she's in a chair. People over-compensate and just make it worse at times without meaning to. If it bothers ur pal, then maybe have a quiet word with this girl, maybe ur just more sensitive to it cos she is in a chair? I'm not being nasty, my dad was in a chair before he died and it used to drive me insane!! - people either ignored him or stared or acted like his bestfriend, its normally cos they just dont know what to do tho - not cos they are knobs!
2007-02-21 08:42:38 · answer #8 · answered by keeley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah I hate that too. My mum was in a wheel chair at hairdressers one time and the hairdresser kept asking the person who was with her wht she wanted done!? As if being in wheel chair affected her power of speech,Arghhh!
2007-02-21 09:03:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because people judge people before getting to know them. I have a deaf friend and people treat her like she is a 5 year old too... she can read lips and people think she is retarded or sumthin and people talk real slow or real loud like it will help...it doesnt help what helps is that you keep you face her when your talking...anyways my point is most people dont consider people with "disadvantages" to be like them. So they must be retarded since they arent like them...is how they probably think atleast thats what i think they think if you know what i mean.
2007-02-21 08:46:06 · answer #10 · answered by Kimbola 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋