Do you consider making friends easy?

Question

I want to know how other people feel about this.

Do you consider making friends easy or hard? Why?

Why do you think someone would feel the opposite way?

What would you do if you found/find making friends difficult?

What do you do when you meet someone who is a loner?

What percentage would use say fit into each category (it's easy/it's hard)?

Sorry there's so many questions.

Thankyou for your answers.

Answer 1

I consider making friends to be very difficult. I am cautious/reserved by nature and "slow to warm up" with people I either do not know or only know slightly, probably because I have perfectionist tendencies and therefore, do not want to do anything to "mess up" a situation until I am sure of my position within it and the direction I intend to go with it. I am also relatively self-conscious and somewhat introverted, and just generally prefer either my own company, or the company of people I already know, trust, and like. Or, the company of a good book!

I think there are people who are very open and outgoing and never meet anyone they do not consider a friend. These types of people tend to find friends wherever they go because it does not bother them to "put themselves out there," so to speak. They will make the first attempt, initiate contact, and don't worry about how that contact or attempt will be received. These types of people are probably less self-conscious than I am.

Since I DO find making friends difficult, I tend to cherish the ones that I have. It takes a while for me to feel comfortable enough with someone to allow them access to my "inner circle," but once they are there, they are there for life and I would move heaven and earth for them, if need be, barring any major betrayal (i.e., harm to my family or something). Most all of my truly great, deepest, "best" friends I have had for 20 years or more.

When I meet someone who is a loner, it depends on the circumstances. Sometimes I will attempt to make conversation to be polite, or if I am feeling particularly cheerful. If I get the "back off" vibe from them after that initial attempt, though, I will just let it go. When I think of four or five of my closest friends, every single one of them were the first to initiate taking what had until then been a casual acquaintance type relationship to a deeper, freindship style relationship, and I responded to them, not the other way around.

I have had occasion to work closely with some loners who I did eventually sort of befriend after years and years of working around them and with them, but it was very difficult and I don't know that I ever felt 100% comfortable calling them a true "friend." In fact, once those people moved on, they were no longer in my life at all. Work was the only thing that bound us, and when we no longer had that, we didn't have anything.

I don't know what the percentage would be between the two categories you have outlined. Since this is an internet-based poll, I would assume your answers would be skewed towards loners/difficulty making friends category, since many of us prefer interacting with others through the buffer of the computer. If you asked these same questions to a group of people at your local bar, or in the mall on a Saturday afternoon, or something like that, I suspect you would get different answers. On whole, however, I think there are more introspective people than extroverted - maybe a 75%/25% split?

It will be interesting to see what kind of information you get out of this!

Answer 2

I condider making friends hard. the main reason being that I am a loner myself and I usually find shallow talk something I do not want to do or hear. Deep stuff is not generally discussed and furthermore I like silence. Not very many people really do. I can imagine people making friends easily but I do wonder if they will be real lasting friends. When I meet a loner... I don't meet them because I am one. I think most people feel short on real friends and would like more and more easily achieved friendship. 50/50?