I've been with my kids father for seven years, we were going to get married this year, he just recently found out and told me that he might have fathered a little girl who is now 5 years old but she'll be 6 the same age as our son together. Now he said he just found this out because the mother thought that it was another mans baby but the man who i'm with still has not taken a DNA test, he only thinks that it is his. I know this was six years ago but I am feeling angry, betrayed, hurt even a little jealousy. Should I forgive the man I am so in love with and try to work things out whether he is the daddy or not or should I give up on everything we have and our future together? He told me the other girl does not want to be with him I guess she only wants to know who her child's father is, but I think if she thought it was between two men it could very well be another man also. Am I in denial, because I don't think he is the father but I am also hoping he is not. Please help!
2007-02-21 08:28:53 · 14 answers · asked by christina 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you still love your man, stay with him. You will be wise to keep your family together even if he went out on you years ago. If he shows remorse for his action he will not repeat it. If you are grown up you can overcome your emotions. They are temporary and the emotions change according to what's current in your daily life. Your kids will appreciate it later on in life that you didn't give up on your family. They will thank you and your husband will too. Whatever the other women thinks or does stand you ground for you are better than that because you KNOW who the father of your children are!
2007-02-21 08:39:37 · answer #1 · answered by normansbro 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So he has had children with two women out of wedlock and you are different from the other woman in some way that is makes you mad at him? I don't get the issue. He's likely to have several other kids around the neighborhood, you and this other girl are only the ones he knows about.
I guess since he stayed with you, you could just accept the fact that with you it was true love, and with her is was a mistake.
2007-02-21 16:39:03 · answer #2 · answered by javelin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well how many other times has he cheated? When was the last time? These answers would help you make your choice,stay or let him go. That would be hard, but if you want to forgive him and work it out, that an happen. It is all up to you and what you feel is right in your heart.
2007-02-21 16:38:03 · answer #3 · answered by Rosie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow thats kindof tough and being that it was so long ago, is there a communication problem? i mean that is a long itme to hide a secret from someone and to have cheated and you never found out. What's even worse is that aparently he did his dirt well, so make sure you are able to look past this mistake because if the child is his, you will have to deal with those cicumstances everyday.
good luck
2007-02-21 16:34:12 · answer #4 · answered by mama 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u are in denial, and not wanting to accept the truth that he cheated on u. if he turns out to be the dad, would u be willing to have this child in your life? u have a right to feel angry about this. the relationship u thought u had, isn't. forgive him if he is remorseful, and sorry he hurt u, if not, divorce him.
2007-02-21 16:35:48 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st you have to figure out what your relationship was like 6 years ago... at that point... only you can decided if you are going to be able to move on... if so... then be supportive of him... make sure that he takes the test and if it's his... and your going to stay with him.. help him take care of the baby and DON'T take any anger that you have for your boyfriend out on the kid or the other baby's mother... it is not any ones fault but your boyfriend!!! Good Luck to You..
2007-02-21 16:36:47 · answer #6 · answered by ***Girlie Girl*** 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In MY opinion, if it happened years ago and nothing has happened since, forgive him. Why ask for trouble where there isn't any? That, and don't deny the child its father. It could come back to haunt you...
2007-02-21 16:34:22 · answer #7 · answered by coorissee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a horrable situation 2 be in. at the end of the day he has still cheated on you if its kid r not so i dont think he can be trusted. he would of kept this a secret but it came bak 2 bite him on the ***. he has some serious explaining to do. hear him out b4 you make the biggest decision of your life. good luck
2007-02-21 16:37:57 · answer #8 · answered by showmethemoneygolddigger 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has straightened out, and is a loving, loyal, and thoughtful person, than you should seriously consider forgiving him. If it happens again, you should seek counseling from a real professional to help you out.
2007-02-21 16:34:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was a BUSY man 6 years ago......fathering your baby...and some other woman's. He is a cheater......let HER have him! She deserves him....two cheaters together! Move on.....you deserve better! Good Luck!!
2007-02-21 17:00:37 · answer #10 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋