2007-02-21 08:11:20 · 30 answers · asked by junior o 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
People only change when THEY want to.
2007-02-21 08:14:41 · answer #1 · answered by comicards 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been married for 10 years, at the 7 year mark, I cheated on my husband. It totally just happened, wasnt premeditated, coulndt believe in my own behavior and it didtn last too long. And have never had an urge, itch, desire, whatever to do it again. IT WAS THE SINGLE MOST BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE. So, no, I do not believe in the "once a cheater, always a cheater". But you will get alot of that on here with a question like that. Let me tell you somethng before you go getting brain washed on the whole once a cheater........thing. Yes, your GF might have felt the excitement and pleasure and the newness of the cheating, which is why some people will say she will do it again, but she ALSO felt the guilt and the pain it caused you and I'm sure herself. And trust me, it is alot of pain to endure and I dont know many people who would want to repetitively go through that. I wish luck.
2007-02-21 08:19:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My girlfriend cheated on me twice, but we were young and we crowded each other to much and never did anything outside of each other. Once we both got away for a bit and saw other people we came to the realization that what we had wasnt bad after all we just never lived. I would say it depends on the girl and the situation but in most cases I would believe if time has passed and she is expressing feelings again she probably sees that you werent bad she just thought she wanted something else. Follow your heart and pay attention to the small details. I guess sometimes we need to loose something before we realize what it was we actually lost. Keep an open mind although its hard think how you both can see what you mean to each other and if she really means it she will let you know.
2007-02-21 08:18:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the reason for the cheating is understood and you really believe that the person who cheated is truly, truly sorry. Maybe you can forgive the person if you really feel as though this would not happen again. It is such a personal thing between two people that it is extremely difficult for someone on the outside looking in to properly advise you without knowing more of the circumstances.
2007-02-21 08:20:29 · answer #4 · answered by myleshunt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girls and boys are the same. Can a boy cheat on his girl friend and change. Yes a boy or girl that cheats on other can change but it will or should take time to build trust again. If she cheats a 2nd time then drop her fast.
2007-02-21 08:17:56 · answer #5 · answered by sara a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People only change when they have sufficient reason to change. If they are allowed to act in an unacceptable way do not experience any negative reprocussions they will most likely repeat the behavior again.
The question is not can she change but which pain are you willing to go through: the pain of loosing her or the pain of living in fear of her cheating again?
Good luck with this one.
2007-02-21 08:54:22 · answer #6 · answered by Bud 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not in my experience. I don't know any women who over the course of years only had one affair. They either had none, or several.
And I don't buy the idea that she must have had a reason and that was your fault, as other posters have suggested. See the double standard? If a man cheats, he's a pig who should have tried to work things out. But if the woman cheats, he's a pig who gave her a reason to "stray". It's bull.
2007-02-21 08:23:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she cheated there had to be a reason- if she was completely happy in your relationship then she would not have strayed - it wouldn't have crossed her mind. Maybe you need to talk to her to find out what happened. But in in all honesty cheating is pretty hard to get over. Maybe spend some time apart to see what you both want from a relationship or consider counseling if you feel the relationship can be salvaged.
2007-02-21 08:22:10 · answer #8 · answered by helpingsis 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on a few things, like why she did, did she learn from her mistake? I myself use to cheat - I cheated because I hated love, my husband cheated on me a few times and I loved him very much, but I put up this guard around my heart and thought of sex and just to f***! Then I met this wonderful man who reminded me of what love is like and that it is all worth giving your heart to someone. He had to fight his way into my heart, but he did. Now I am back to that old me, who loves again! I got married last week (Valentines Day) and I will NEVER cheat on my man. So yes a girl can change!!!!
2007-02-21 08:20:31 · answer #9 · answered by Rosie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I cheated on my husband before we got married but once I took those vows everything change Now I dont even think about cheating.
2007-02-21 08:47:33 · answer #10 · answered by Mrs. Priss 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends if the person really want to change. I never cheated on anyone but I had a few friends that cheated on their boyfriends. One of my friends kept cheating on her boyfriend, but when he found out and threaten to leave her, she changed because she knew that she didn't want to lose him....but it all depends on the individual
2007-02-21 08:16:33 · answer #11 · answered by T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋