2007-02-21 08:08:24 · 15 answers · asked by a b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is bad enough to have a person who you truly loved leave you but using you adds insult to injury. I definitely can feel your pain so you and I have a lot in common. I don't know when this happened to you but this happened to me about 2 years ago. Now you can do all that has been suggested to you such as throw away pictures, get rid of his things but when they mentioned all the things he bought you! That is when I started to laugh because they don't get the picture here do they? Now if there were any things to be bought they were bought for him from you not vice versa huh! I am going to save you a huge amount of "shrink money" by giving you some suggestions as to what you are feeling. You are really pissed off because the Ahole used you and you thought he really loved you. He didn't you were just his meal ticket for awhile. The sooner you accept this in your head the sooner the healing will begin. I tried for over a year to keep in contact with the guy who used me because I didn't want to believe that he really would be this cruel and that he would prove me wrong and truly was a nice guy. Don't go there by beating yourself over the head over and over on why didn't you stop this sooner. You just need to tell yourself that he used you and you are pissed as hell. Learn a lot about this so that you can figure out why this happened to you and that even though you are going to be ok, you are not going to ever be a victim again. I really hope that you don't spend a lot of time crying over this guy because I am telling you from experience this guy has already moved on to his next victim. I have been thru this and I am happy to tell you I made it.
Best of luck
2007-02-21 12:10:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
its gonna be hard cos u loved ur partner and u were in the relationship for a long time. u may not get over it. the only way to cope is to go out with friends, learn a new hobby or a language or do a course at uni. learn dancin or anything that catches ur fancy. but don't be alone by urself too much cos that's when u think a lot. relax, laugh cos its hard now but u will survive it and u will meet someone who will value u.
2007-02-21 09:44:52 · answer #2 · answered by rambo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nothing hurts us more than to be abandoned by someone we loved, and trusted. don't try to run away from the pain, accept it, accept the truth, and take one day at a time. u won't get over him right away, you will have to go through the grief process like we all do, it isn't pleasant, it hurts, but there is really no other way to go. we just can't will the pain away. best if u completely distance yourself from him, meaning don't talk to him, cut off all ties to people u and he use to know. get rid of all of his things even pictures, and go out meet others, get into a self help group. keep as busy as u can. and know that this is where u are suppose to be in life, regardless of how much it hurts. don't deny it, know the truth, and don't try to even think he will be coming back, when u do this u just set yourself up for more heartache, and it prolongs the grieving process.
2007-02-21 08:21:37 · answer #3 · answered by jude 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Besides hiring a team of angry rugby players to beat the living daylights out of the manure sack formally known as your boyfriend, the best thing is to try and keep yourself as busy as you can. Understand that there is no quick solution or magic formula, this is a process, and also, do not get upset at yourself for being a kind generous giving individual. Do not change who you are inside, live your life with pride and integrity, join as many charities as you can, a gym, take a night course, take time to heal and surround yourself with people who care for you.
Eventually, you will get over this, and make sure you do all you can to move on with your life, who ever did this to you, they do not deserve any more of your time or energy, the rest of your life, happiness and fulfilment is totally up to you.
2007-02-21 08:21:43 · answer #4 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im sorry to say that but some say time heals: NOT TRUE, love does. it doesnt matter how long time will pass but if u love someone u love him and thats it. unless u find another person to get attached to even if just a little, this will help u concentrate on something else, it will get ur mind of ur ex and it might grow into something more. i had a bf who loved me so much...we broke up and 3years later he still loves me as much, i can do anything about it, neither can him unless he finds somebody to fall in love with
2007-02-25 02:07:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take the experience as a lesson learned. Make yourself happy and pursue your passions and be the best of what you can be. Simplify your life and get rid of the clutter. Stay true to yourself, take care of yourself, light up your own life, drive yourself to your destination, no one completes you but you, don't be afraid, don't lose your capacity to love, live your dreams and never lose faith.
2007-02-21 08:21:27 · answer #6 · answered by uneekqamar2004 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
write down every nasty thing he has ever said to you and every nasty thing he has ever done to you... everything you didnt like what he said or did. and write down how it made you feel at the time.
now read it out loud.
and read it again to yourself.
and read it again.
read it everytime you miss him
read it everytime you think you want him back.
read it at least once a day.
its what i did when my using ex hurt me and it really helped.
also ring up your friends and have some girly nights in with your favourite drinks and some girly movies.
get rid of everything he ever bought you.
get rid of his pictures.
dont go anywhere where he is likely to go.
delete his numbers.
cut all contact.
2007-02-21 08:17:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go out with friends as much as you can, perhaps begin a hobby - maybe there's something you've always wanted to do like yoga, areobics or painting. keep yourself occupied as much as possible and try to focus on your life and enjoying it with or without a man!
2007-02-21 08:15:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
forget the syco babble. its his loss. rejoin the world and do the things you put off when you were with the creep. pick a really mad aim and go for it. this life is not a dress rehearsal go for it girl..
2007-02-21 11:05:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it hurts, i know and also difficult just to forget him but you got to do what you've got to do.
-start by seeing your friends again or meet new ones.
-date again, but make sure not to see/compare them to your ex.
-start a new hobby. focus on what you want to do.
-stand on your own feet, girl, you can be better off without him than with him. WHO IS HE ANYWAY? YOU CAN DO IT?
2007-02-24 07:56:00 · answer #10 · answered by President Of D' Clan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋