My wife has a serious mean streak!! help!!?

Question

My wife has a mean streak you wouldn't believe. One minute she's fine and the next she treats me like a stranger who has cut her off in traffic...and that's probably an understatement. She doesn't even treat me like a friend, let alone her husband. It seems that she completely disregards my feelings when she says and does things while in this "mode" of hers. She claims it's "a demon" and to be honest with you, I believe her (I'm a devout Catholic and STRONGLY believe that demons exist and can possess human hosts) because my wife is a good woman, she really is. But this mean streak she gets is getting VERY old and I'm seriously thinking about leaving her...no kidding. We're going to marriage counseling (our first session is on Monday...which can't come soon enough!!) But how do I deal with her being a female dog until then...or even past then?

Answer 1

What in the world is the difference between loving a person, and being attached to them? Love is the sincere wish, for others to be happy and to be free from suffering. Having realistically realized other’s kindness, as well as their faults, Love is Always focused on the other person’s welfare. We have no ulterior intensions or motives to fulfill our own self-interests; or to fulfill our own desires, we love others, all people, simply because they exist. Attachment, on the other hand, exaggerates others’ good qualities, and makes us crave to be with them. When we’re with them, we are happy, but when we’re separated from them, we’re miserable. Attachments are always linked with expectations of what others should be, or what they should do for us. Is love, as it is understood in most societies, really love OR attachment ? Let us examine this a little more. Generally speaking, we are attracted {drawn to) people because they have qualities we value, or because they help us in some way. If we carefully observe, through introspection, our own thought processes we’ll notice that we very often look for specific qualities in others. Some of these qualities we are drawn to are qualities within our parents, or qualities which society values.
We examine someone’s looks, education, social status, financial status, and so forth. This is how Most of us decide on whether or not the person holds any true value, or not. In addition, we judge people as worthwhile according to how they relate to us. If they praise us, encourage us, help us, if they listen to what we have to say, if they make us feel secure, if they take care of us when were sick, unhappy or depressed, we consider them good, or sometimes righteous people, and these are the people we more drawn to, whom we are most likely attracted to, and the people we choose to be around with.
In all honesty, this is very biased, for we are judging them, only in terms of how they relate to us, as if we are the most important person in the world & thinking the world revolves around us! After we’ve judged certain people to be good for us, whenever we see them, it appears to us as if goodness is radiating out from within them, but as we are more mindfully aware, we realize that we have projected this goodness on to them.
Desiring to be the people who make us feel good, we become emotional yo-yo’s, when we’re with these people, we’re up, but when we’re not with them, we’re down. Furthermore, we form fixed concepts of what our relationships with these people will be, and thus have expectations of them. “When they do not live up to our expectations of them, we’re unhappy, disappointed or may even become angry. We want them to change so that they will match what we think they are. But our projections and expectations come from our own minds, not from other people. Our problems arise not because others aren’t who we thought they were, but because we mistakenly thought they were something they were not. We often use a type of Checklist also. Checklist: “I Love You IF ___________ !” This Love is Conditional and what we call love, is most often attachment. It is actually an attitude which overestimates the qualities of another person.
’Then we cling tightly to that person, thinking our peace and happiness depends on that person. We even often blame that person for our unhappiness.’ Love, on the other hand, is a very patient, calm, optimistic and relaxed attitude. We want others to be free from suffering and to be happy simply because they exist. While attachments are uncontrolled, and too emotionally sentimental, Love is Patient, powerful, and controlled(disciplined). Attachment obscures our judgment {our ability to make sound, wise decisions), and we become impatient, angry, and impartial – helping our dear ones, and those who do us no harm. Love clarifies our mind, & we access a situation by thinking of the greatest good for everyone. Attachment is based on selfishness, while love is founded on valuing, & cherishing others, even those who do not look very appealing to us. Love always looks beyond all the superficial appearances and dwells on the fact that they are just like us: they want peace of mind, happiness, and wish to avoid suffering. If we see an unattractive, or unintelligent people we most often feel repulsed, because our selfish minds want to find attractive, intelligent, and talented people. On the other hand, Love never evaluates others by theses superficial standards and looks much deeper into the person. Love recognizes that regardless of the others appearances, they’re experiences are they same as ours: they want inner mental peace, happiness, and wish to be from suffering. When we’re attached, we’re not mentally, emotionally, & spiritually free. For we overly depend on, and cling to another person, to fulfill our emotional, mental, and spiritual needs. We fear losing the person, fearing that we’d be incomplete without them.” This does Not mean that we should suppress all our emotional needs, or become aloof, and totally independent, for that too would not solve the problem. We must simply realize our unrealistic needs and slowly, gently and patiently – seek to eliminate them. If we try to suppress them, pretending they do not exist, we become insecure, anxious, or possibly depressed. In this case, we do our best to fulfill our needs, while simultaneously working gradually to subdue them. The core problem is that most of us seek to be loved, rather than to love. We yearn to be understood by others, rather than to understand them. Our sense of emotional insecurities comes from the selfish obscuring of our own minds. We develop confidence by recognizing our inner potential to become a Selfless human being, having many magnificent qualities, and then we’ll develop and have an accurate perception of ourselves, gaining self-confidence. We’ll seek to increase true unconditional love, to increase compassion, to cultivate patience, as well as generosity, right concentration and wisdom. Under the influence of attachment, we’re bound by our unstable emotional reactions to others. When they’re nice to us, we’re happy, but when they ignore us or speak sharply to us, we take it personally, and are unhappy. But pacifying attachment doesn’t mean we become hard-hearted, rather without attachments, there will be space in our hearts and minds for genuine affection and impartial love for them. And as a result, we’ll be more actively involved with them. As we learn to transform our minds & lives, through subduing our attachments, we can definitely have successful friendships, and personal relationships with others. These relationships will be richer, more meaningful because of the freedom and respect the relationships are based on. We’ll really care about the happiness and misery of all human beings equally, simply because everyone is the same inside: we all want inner peace of mind, Happiness, and to be from suffering.
However, of course, our lifestyles and interests may be a bit more compatible with some people. Our friendships and our personal relationships will be based on mutual interests, and to help other people. Having such an attitude, we’ll be much More Patient, & tolerant toward others; will remain mentally calm, having Peace of Mind and Happiness, and we’ll communicate successfully with others in life.

Answer 2

Yes it's possible she has a demon but it's in the form of a psychological deficiency. Curious but I'm wondering if she is only mean to you or if it is anyone in her presence. Also, is she religious and if not - it's possibly an act or a retaliation to your "devout Catholic" ways? I would possibly wait to find out what the counselor determines but it sounds as though she may need a little isolation from society and be under the care of a trained professional.

Answer 3

Dude maybe your wife should be seeing a doctor for an emotional or hormonal imbalance. As in, get the woman some Prozac. No disrespect. I take anti depressants as I used to have massive mood swings I had no control over. I would seek medical help and then marriage counseling

Answer 4

I'm not really a believer in UFO's as being extra-terrestrial visitors, I think it's more likely that they are secret gov't "black ops" test flights - especially the ones you see here in the Western U.S. Having said that, I do believe that there may very well be other beings in other parts of the universe that are similar to us. I like to recall the Bible verse where Christ mentions that He has "other sheep" that must be brought into the fold, so that all are one. (John 10:16) The "beings from the spirit world" would obviously be angels. Angels are real, and are mentioned in many places in the Bible. The Elohim, offspring of angels who mated with daughters of men, were actually mentioned extra-Biblically by the historian Josephus, who mentioned that he personally viewed skeletons of these Elohim that were at that time in the Temple area in Jerusalem. By his account they were very large; far larger than a normal human being. Jesus said in the last days before His coming it would be like the days of Noah in that people would scoff and disbelieve, sort of like what you see on Yahoo Answers R&S right now LOL so that one's sort of a no-brainer.... There won't be another flood though - God promised He wouldn't do that. Instead He will use fire (2 Peter 3:7, 3:10) New Age women sleeping with the demons in UFO's????? I think that one's a bit of a stretch..........

Answer 5

There is the new thing called a doctor. Doctors are great for determining if someone is chemically depressed or has hormonal problems which cause mood swings. There is something called bipolar disorder. You'd be amazed what medical science can tell you about yourself. But all that is just hocus pokus, I am sure she is possessed, that makes much more sense. Take her to church and let them figure it out.

Answer 6

My girlfriend has a temper that makes her say incredibly awful things. She always apologizes, and says she doesn't know what comes over her, but I think if our genders were reversed it would be inexcuseable. She and I are taking a break for a while, and I'm looking forward to it. Tell your wife she goes into counseling for her temper, or you want a separation. It's not a demon, it's a temper, and it can be controlled.

Answer 7

She is using that "demon" excuse as a way of getting away with not having much control over her emotional outbursts. As long as you allow her to treat you this way, then she will. She needs an incentive to treat you better. Let her know this will no longer be tolerated no matter what her excuse is and mean it.. She is showing a total disregard for your feelings and you are playing along with this for as long as you take it.

Answer 8

Your going to have to keep yourself occupied find things around the house you haven't gotten to yet. Visit some friends. Is your car do for a wash and oil change? She also might be bi-polar my fathers wife was that way believe me it's awful! She's now on some meds that make her much more tolerable.

Answer 9

I, too, believe in possession. I see it in my boyfriend. I otherwise cannot explain why and how he can be so loving and affectionate one moment then be spitting venom and contempt the next. How to deal with it? The problem with demons, if they are intent on defeating you and destroying you they follow you. Consult your priest or see a witch who can put a binding spell on her.

Answer 10

I think that at the counselling, you will all find that your wife has some mental stability issues...perhaps bipoloar. It is up to her to change things, and it's up to you to help her do that (this is the "worse" part from the vows).

Answer 11

maybe it is a hormonal thing...she might need to go to the doctor for a complete physical. or is she taking any kind of medication?? some medications may cause an imbalance causing her to act that way.