Parents as 'best friends'?
I have already formed an opinion, which I will share later, but I'm really interested to see the pluses and minuses of this topic from other parents.
2007-02-21 07:53:02 · 18 answers · asked by eyk2007 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
It's terrible. Friends are not role models, authority figures or sources of moral development and gudiance. Parents are. Chances are if your kids are your friends, they don't respect you or vice versa.
2007-02-21 07:56:53 · answer #1 · answered by zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
As a 23 year old working in the educational field (so I see many, many parents trying to be their kids friends) I think it's detrimental in many ways. Most of the parents who are trying to be their kids friends forget that they are supposed to be their parents. They want their children to like them, but aren't willing to impose any limits or provide any discipline. My parents set very reasonable limits all throughout my childhood, they said no when the answer was no, and didn't negotiate just because I didn't like the answer. I had a bedtime when I was younger, but didn't need a curfew when I was older because I had developed enough responsibility to never come home at an unreasonable hour. I was an honor roll student all though high school, went to an incredible college (one of the "new ivies" according to US World & Report) and I'm currently working on my MS and working full time. I have an excellent relationship with both of my parents, and I hope to do as good of a job raising my children as they did with me. Parents who only want to be their child's friend and aren't willing to provide limits and discipline are doing a huge disservice to their child and to society as a whole. There is nothing wrong with being a friend if you can remember you're a parent first.
2007-02-21 15:59:15 · answer #2 · answered by greecevaca 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Personally, although I think the communication fo it is great, I am highly against it. Being a PARENT..is not about being a friend its about the seriousness of raising another human to repesct right from wrong, to become an independant person in society that will follow the rules.......I guess I am old fashined. I don't really care if I am popular with my kids and I am their best friend. Or course thats nice but, me I personally will wait until their adults to be popular in favor of making sure I am doing all I can to make my sons and daughter a person I can be proud of who will love themselves and maybe make the USA a better place.
2007-02-21 15:59:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe parents should be the best friend possible to their child or children. However, if you are referring to sharing in the parties, drinking, drugs, or anything along these lines, they aren't a friend of any kind. They are only looking to find the "tricks" more easily. If a child finds their parents are "overly" friendly, most likely the child is more adult than the parent. Your best friend is someone with whom you can share everything, which would open up a more honest world of communication between parent and child. A best friend is also someone who will tell you when you are wrong and help you find the right answers and to help you to solve all problems. True friends are for you...not for them-self.
2007-02-21 16:04:03 · answer #4 · answered by SHADY LADY 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Dangerous.
Takes the parenting out of parents. The parents need to show their love by discipling their kids and not giving into all their wants; this forms self-discipline for the kids. When the kids mature, they are better able to make decisions and be more independent. Kids need guidance; they don't have enough life experience to pull them through life without getting injured, run over, abused, ignored, or lead toward poor choices that can land them in prison or dead.
022107 2:59
2007-02-21 15:59:14 · answer #5 · answered by YRofTexas 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i don't get it, understand it, and i don't accept it. i have not ever wanted to be friends with my daughters...there has to be a separation of parent(s) and child(ren). i think parents wanting to be a friend of their children is a copout and a way of ignoring the role of guidance as parents are to do as parenting is hard. parents being friends with their children and their childrens friends just creates confusion...no one is the authority figure. there isn't anyone to lay a foundation of guidance; no one to enforce the rules; no one to determine what is or is not proper behavior; no one to say what is or isn't permissible; no one to defend the child when necessary because there is not parent minded person in the home.
granted, having a child doesn't make one a good parent, it simply makes them a parent. good parents are cultivated through trial and error, learned and shared experiences with other parents and their own parents. it takes a desire and hard daily work to be a parent; one must have backbone; one must be quick thinking sometime, one must have thick skin for the times that child says "i hate you". as an effective parent you can take those arrows because you know you're doing the right thing and the day will come when that child appreciates all of your no's.
my youngest daughter asked me if we would ever be friends. my answer was no. she said her friend has a friendship with the mother, treating her as a friend. i told my daughter i would not be her friend because that is not my role, and i wouldn't be doing my best for her if we were friends... i have my friends and she has hers. my children respect my friends as the parents, aunts, uncles, etc they are.
2007-02-21 16:22:06 · answer #6 · answered by loving 40+ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't like it. I know, because my mother is like that. I didn't have a curfew/bedtime and no allowance, if I wanted something, I would just ask for it. Once, I was gone for an entire day and night and she didn't do or say anything!
When my niece and nephew came along, I was sort of a co-parent. I set the boundaries and was consistent about them. Pretty soon, my nephew was involved in a gifted program, even now, he stumps his classmates.
2007-02-21 16:14:29 · answer #7 · answered by germaine_87313 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's inappropriate and doomed to failure.
The generational and parental distance must be maintained in order to preserve respect. If you appear as a friend to your child, your child will respond to you as if you are a child. There is no reason that a child in this situation would feel compelled to obey a parental directive. Essentially becoming the child's friend means giving up being the child's parent.
2007-02-21 15:56:38 · answer #8 · answered by Dharma Nature 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's a great idea considering that today's generation is so vulgar and full of nasty ideas. But there are also limits to how close you should be to your kids, being friends as in be there when they need advice but you should not influence them to change their decisions. Let them be creative and don't force your ideas on them.
2007-02-21 15:56:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you could be friends with your child until they leave home and have their own life. Until they turn 18 they are our children and we are their tough parents.
2007-02-21 15:56:21 · answer #10 · answered by biancajh 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋