How would you react?

Question

Supose you check your son's of 16 homework at 10 pm and is not finished. When you gave him a deadline of 1 hour to finish it he throws the books on the floor cursing and saying that if you want it done by that hour you do it yourself. How would you react?

Answer 1

ide give him his hour and if its not done take away the tv computer night out with friends ect cause if he has time to do thoose things he has time to do homework if its cause he doesnt understand it tell him to stay after school or come in b4 school.GOOD LUCK

Answer 2

I'd be mad that he threw a tantrum. Do you know where that anger/frustration is coming from? Is he having a hard time in one subject or many? I wouldn't give him a deadline to finish it in that situation - I'd mainly be concerned that it got done. If he was working steadily at it, then it would get done. The talk afterwards would be not about how long he took to do it but about how he should start his homework earlier rather than later, maybe when he gets home from sports and has a brief rest and relax time. Then to work, work until it's finished, and then put it away, satisfied.
Frankly, I don't get it. Unless you think the kid is daydreaming or napping on top of his books, what is the problem? He's working at his homework, not you, and at his pace, not yours. Does this sound like what he said ' Do it yourself!'? Well, the question is, why act like an efficiency expert and demand that he work smarter and faster when he is doing homework which is 'learning' type work, not flipping-burgers type work.
I understand you had your eye on the clock and thought about his bedtime. It is mainly a time management issue he should be dealing with but you can't make a kid work faster at 'brain work' as if he was pushing a broom.
Help him manage his time by trying what I suggested. Require that he starts and finishes his homework earlier in the afternoon and then he can relax knowing it is finished. No going back to finish it later; it just encourages attacking the tasks piecemeal.
But - you back off from him when he's working. Tell him you're available to help him if he needs it but the work has to get finished (which is what you forgot about totally when you were giving him a deadline.)

Answer 3

My son is 12. He already knows that computer, tv.phone, sports, and sleepovers are a privaledge not a right. All can and will be taken away if at any time he is disrespectful to his father or me. He gets these things when he deserves them and loses them when he doesn't. As for the cursing. These are things we have not allowed and will not allow in our home. He can disagree with me at any time, but he will not disrespect me or my home. These things are instilled since birth and hopefully we won't have to have these conversations when he is 16. If we do, his punishment will be the same as it is now. Take away what he covets the most. Whatever that might be at the time. And make it stick. Don't waiver. Make sure mom and dad are both on track with the punishment and make it be known that you expect a heart felt apology when he realizes he is wrong, no matter how long it takes him to come to that conclusion.

Answer 4

That sounds oddly familiar... oh yeah, I have the same problem! Except I'm the kid, and my parents are having a hard time with my last minute homework issues!

Here's an easy solution that worked on me like a charm: I had no respect for my parents, so they show no respect for me. By this, I don't mean verbally or ANYTHING like that. My dad set the ground rule: My bedroom door has to be fully open for the next week. Doesn't sound terrible, but it is. Especially with siblings and all.

Best of luck!

Answer 5

Maybe the work is hard for him. I am in highschool too and math is really challenging. But that is still no reason for him to throw the book and curse even if he is frustrated. See if he is having difficulties and help him, but still take away something from him because of the bad and immature behavior he showed

Answer 6

At 16 your son should be old enough to complete his homework without you holding his hand. If he needed more time that is one thing.I would just tell him that if he doesn't complete his homework he is the one who faces the consequences for not having completed it. Make sure he goes to school the next day, no fake sick notes. He will learn a valuable lesson that actions have consequences.

Answer 7

I would begin by punishing him because regardless of age you should never curse your mother out of respect. Second, make sure that an hour was a reasonable amount of time to give him to finish his assignment. If it was then assure it will not happen again with a strict punishment.

Answer 8

Geez, he sounds like my 16-year-old son. If the hour comes and goes and he's still not done, take away something he loves or something he's looking forward to. That seems to be the only thing that will get through to my son.

Answer 9

You obviosuly went wrong somewhere when disiplining him that he would that kind of an attitude towards him. Tell him that it is for his own good and if he wanna be anything in life he has to do his work. Anyways, when he gets in trouble the next day for not doing his work thats his fault.

Answer 10

I would have told you the same thing if I was him. When I was in high school it took me hours to do my homework. You have to understand that things are diffrent now than when you were his age, he has more home work, and it's harder, or more time consuming. Be paitient as long as it's getting by due date, chill.