I have been told by one of my close friends that i am wish washy. he say's sometimes he doesn't think i want to be happy because all i seem to do is pick fights even when it is un nessacary. i has that promblem in my last relationship to and it is so hard for me to trust people. I am thinking about taking some time out and just shutting out everyone to truly find myself. Does anyone else have some suggestions?? it seems no mater how good things get i am never truly happy.
2007-02-21 07:32:32 · 18 answers · asked by mama 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
What you need to do is take some time out and find yourself. Happiness is a temporary conditional state. It is very fleeting and dependent upon outside cicumstances. To truly find the joy you want out of life you have to first learn to accept yourself as you are. You need to be content with yourself. Too many times we rely on our extrinsic evironment to make us happy. True joy comes intrinsicly. A person cannot be happy with someone else until they are happy with themselves. You may not be happy because you do not even know what you truly want. You also seem like you feel you do not deserve happiness. You sabotage things that are good in your life, especially your relationships. You need to take a time out and learn to appreciate and recognize the true blessings in your life. I would suggest you write a letter to yourself describing how you truly are feeling, with no holds bared. You may scare yourself with the things that are revealed, but it is a starting point in changing for the better. You can't try to fix something if you do not know what is wrong. Hope this helps.
2007-02-21 07:43:12 · answer #1 · answered by Lady A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Other people can't make you happy. You have some work to do on yourself. Try reading Healing Your Emotional Self- A Powerful Program to Help You Raise Your Self-Esteem, Quiet Your Inner Critic, and Overcome Your Shame by Beverly Engel. You can find it at Borders Books. Also Self Matters by Dr. Phil McGraw- Creating Your Life From the Inside Out. These books will help you discover why you are so unhappy and how to get out of the patterns of self-destructive relationships and behavior that have made you this way. Good luck to you and I hope you feel better soon.
2007-02-21 07:39:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you need to shut ppl out to find yourself -the ppl you shut out could be the very same ppl that will support you and help you find your way. All you would be doing is making the world a very lonely place. Have you ever thought about talking to someone professionally? Even a few sessions to get you on the right track with the way you are feeling. Life is too short to be that unhappy and there are no do-overs. Is there one thing in particular that is making you unhappy?
2007-02-21 07:54:12 · answer #3 · answered by helpingsis 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Truthfully, if I was you, I would get into therapy & find out why you're so unhappy, it's worth a try. You may come to learn things about yourself that you never knew before. Then, maybe you can get back on track & find the happiness you so deserve. Until you get the help you need, you may never be able to be in a meaningful relationship with any man. I wish you all the best.
2007-02-21 07:48:12 · answer #4 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you should write a Journal all your Possitive and negative thoughts. No body able to make you happy untill you find Peace inside. Pride could destroy lives. If you don't trust anybody, then I suggest make up your mind, be strong, keep occupied make you happy with out being involve guys and just for a change try to live your own like Independent Single life. What ever you received good blessings from others that you never be happy, because, theire's a reason. As a Human being living in a temperory life with ups and downs and try to compatible in a different minds, thoughts, action, spirit, relationships, hobbies, lack of sense of humor, too much of expectations, lack of Faith in God( essential to change your life) all those it effects, before you accept orthers, You got accept your self, that you're just a Human being living in the world, and what ever you have weaknesses that you think it's badly effect all your Life, good advice, forget about Past- make a Fresh life, give up all the bad attitudes, habbits, selfishness, bold, hars, aggressive, all the bad stuff and choose possitive, trust your instinct, be polite, confident, educate your self with manners, behaviour, trust self and others doing right, medetating, start beliebe god and keep praying and give you Heart to God befor Man, You will be one of the happiest person in the world by counting all your blessings. Don't waste your time, life, blessings,and make use of all these all through for your self and for another.You got to have respect, dignity, self-image,gesture,trust, peace withing you and among others.
2007-02-21 08:15:41 · answer #5 · answered by Liz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem!
Im not saying it was the best option but this is what I did in October - I dug out my passport and went to the UK for a month. I didnt really talk to anyone except a few calls to my mom.
I traveled around on a train and stayed ni hostels. I learned alot about myself and it was very empowering.
I suggest you save up 2 or $3000 and go to another country where you do not know anyone for awhile. It helps me everytime.
2007-02-21 08:03:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay
.. 1 you can;t drag past pains along behind you alike a ball and chain ,,taking out your frustration..( for what you did not get) on your current BF.
2. all pain is born of desire.. if you want what you can not have.. you suffer.. try not to want so much.. of other's especially!!
3. concentrate inward and free all the crap from you mind try some yoga or some serious exercise... , also being out in nature can ease the stress you are 'causing' yourself..
4 it ia ll in your own mind this reality you have set up for yourself.. just decide to be happy now and live in the now.. don't worry about the part.. it's OVER! and don;'e worry about the future.. YOu can;t change what has not happened yet!.. all you can do is
set in motion your own 'positive attitude to deal with what may lie in front of you..
and please love those around you!! and treat them with love and respect!.. then you will receive it back.
cheers.
2007-02-21 07:48:00 · answer #7 · answered by Derrick Zooolander 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem to be a perfectionist. That is not a bad trait to have, but it can be annoying to others sometimes. I have this problem too. If you are mad about something make sure you go ahead and resolve the issue instead of letting it build up, because it may come out at the wrong times. Also, try to make it a point at the beg ginning of every day to promise yourself that you will try your best to be loving and kind to yourself and others.
2007-02-21 07:42:03 · answer #8 · answered by Jessie Jo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all know that God loves you and He has a plan for you life. Go to Him in prayer through Jesus His Son. Second of all, and you probably won't hear this from anyone else, lower your expectations in life. See all others as people with misgivings and faults, don't expect any human to be your 'hero' or even role model. From time to time expect them to let you down, as we all have. Sounds like you have been disillusioned in life, trust me everyone has their share of problems. One important aspect is to take care of yourself physically besides spritually. Get enough rest, and don't live on junk food, remember that alcohol is a depressant. Make a point of going for walks, you really will feel happier in your mind, when you get home. Also, just relax and don't feel you have to be on top of things all the time. If you really don't care for someone, ignore them if they stress you out.
2007-02-21 07:49:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well dear...everything depends from your heart and mind. Ask them again, will you want contuining your boring life like that? Choose to do the things you like, and avoid what you doesnt like. Find what the hobbies or interest you like most and spend much time into that hobbies. Meeting the people whose you like to met them. You will noticed later that the things just move on, as well you. It might be a very slow process but you will get some new point of view on something new. Just be patience and think positive. Please the people and they will please you..Good luck.
2007-02-21 09:09:53 · answer #10 · answered by girlsoldieroffortune 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋