Ok so Im 19 turning 20 in april. I have been on my own working a full time office job for a almost 2 years now. ( Ever since I graduated ) I pay my own bills( rent, cell, loan min., utillitys ect. ) paying off a loan now and gearing up to buy a new car. I have a boyfriend which whom Ive been with a year now. He and I are both really mature in our relationship as much so anyone are age could possibly be I would say. But lately I have been having this STRONGE urge to have a baby. I want one so bad. The idea of being pregnant and caring for a child and raising it has got me having the butterflys of excitement. I am lucky to have a man who if I did get pregnant would want to be fully apart of the whole thing. But I know I am much too young and should wait till I have lived out my fun young years. But its constantly on my mind. What gives? Shouldnt I be thinking about partyin and clubbing things like that? I also forgot to mention I did get pregant 5mon. ago but miscaried beforei knew i was
2007-02-21 07:28:30 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
haha, I'm 20 years old turning 21 on june 10th. I have two children ages 2 and 11 months. I was never the type of person to go out and party. You sound like me when I was 17, I met the perfect man. You are not too young. Would you want your children to be healthy by being mature and not having a wild life and your children would be paying for it when you have them at an older age after all the drinking. I would wait when you are stable and you know that this time is the right time. I had the advantage of owning my first house by the time I was 17. My husband and I bought it by ourselves when he was 19. If you know that you could give a child a loving and happy environment, then talk with your boyfriend. Wouldn't you want to be married though? I wasn't married when I had my son and I felt awful from all the people bothering me. I was married when I had my daughter. This might sound bad, but if you are okay with it and he is also, go for it. Children are not like cars though, they can't be given back.
2007-02-21 07:40:29 · answer #1 · answered by fourcheeks4 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I Can't tell you why you have that urge... but I can tell you you are not alone!! Your story sounds exactly like a page from my own book. My (Now Husband then...) Boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 5 years now, but for the last two (since I was 19 or 20... 22 now)I have had the most overwhelming want and need to be pregnant. We have always been very mature and although at the time were still living at our respective parents homes, we both finished school, and pay all of our bills (cell, car, loans, etc...). When we went on vacation this past summer for his 21st birthday, I found out (about a month later) that I was (ooops) PREGNANT!! I was sooo happy and still am!
The only reccomendation I have is to take the time before you get pregnant to plan and have the wedding of your dreams... If you're really serious about this guy, enough to have his baby, then you owe it to yourself to have a great wedding while you have time and can afford it.(it's the only thing I regret) We ended up getting married in his parents living room by a justice of the peace with only like 5 people there (kind of disappointing, and it will be a long time before i can even think about affording a "real" wedding) ALSO Make sure you have a place for all of you to fit... we went and bought our first house 3 months ago and moving while pregnant and worring about the set up and everything all at once is very overwhelming... but we made it and here I am 32 weeks pregnant only 8 more to go happy as can be.
If I could do it over again... I would have got married first and had a place to live all set up and ready to go before I got pregnant as it all caused so much stress and costs so much money, but in the end I am where I am meant to be, and you will be too!!
May I add that I am so sorry for your loss and that everything does come in it's own time... I also experienced a miscarrage before my current pregnancy. That may have added to my (and your) strong desire for a child, but there are alot of factors to it.
2007-02-21 08:01:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for your loss. I had a loss three years ago and have been wanting a child ever since. I was 23 at the time and I knew deep down it wasnt right (wrong man, bad timing) Not to say that it wasnt the right time for you. That's a personal decision. But anyway, even though I really felt a loss and wanted a baby so bad, I knew I had to wait for the right person to come along and the timing was better. But I still had all this hurt in my heart and I felt like I had a lot of love to give in my heart but no where to give it. So, I got a puppy. I know it may sound stupid but, it was very cathartic and healing for me. I love him so much. He's 2 yrs old now. And I still love him to death. And I'm am now pregnant, in a great relationship and very happy. I wont tell you what's right or wrong because, it's your life but, I dont regret the decision I made. Good luck hun!
2007-02-21 07:41:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure a lot of your reason for wanting to be pregnant is that you had a prior miscariage. I am 23 and i have a 5 month old daughter. she is gorgeous and i love her more than anything. Getting pregnant was a surprise. we got married while i was pregnant. I love her but i really didnt want kids until i was at least 30. i wish i was a bit older having her. I wish i would have been skinny and cute in my wedding dress, able to drink at my wedding toast and able to go on a honey moon trip. A lot of my friends from college had babies before me, and i went through a phase where i had "baby-fever" for a while. It isnt something that you'll get over, untill you get pregnant and reality hits you. you are so young, please take your time!!!
2007-02-21 07:41:42 · answer #4 · answered by cassiemillcreek 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a similar story. I too got pregnant and miscarried and didn't know I was pregnant in October. I use to get depressed because I didn't even get to love it not once and almost jealous because my boyfriend had a baby with another girl(long story, joint custody, wish each other would die)before we met. I wish I didn't have RHfactor so I could have had the same bond that he has had with his daughter. I didn't want to get pregnant but I did. I want one so bad... or a puppy : ) My boyfriend said he wants to marry me before I have another baby so I get the Depo Provera shot till 2008. I can't wait. I hope you are doing fine.
2007-02-23 07:08:02 · answer #5 · answered by stepmom of 1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It probably has something to do with the miscarriage! As women most of us think longingly for a baby many times in our lives take another year and have fun while preparing emotionally physically and financially for a wee one then go ahead you want to be young enough to have fun with your child right:)
2007-02-21 07:35:23 · answer #6 · answered by OMeganO 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-16 04:43:45 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
relax, enjoy your life 1st. having a kid on your own requires a lot of thing. i know it.i'm 24 and i have 3 kids. although you might sound financially stable but what bout your psychological aspect of it. kids are like a plain drawing paper, you are the 1 to draw the picture on it. beautiful or ugly,it's up to you. therefore you need to think,if you have your own kid, would you be able to care,to love,to support your kid 24/7. although you have a wonderful boyfriend to help with the care if there should be one, it's always the feminine side of you which kids need in their upbringing. but the final answer is with you and your partner. i wish you all the best.
2007-02-21 08:03:11 · answer #8 · answered by roadm82 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow..that is so great u are living on ur own and paying ur own bills and now saving up for a new car..if u and ur boyfriend is ready to have a families of ur own, then for it..but also if u want to jus have fun and go out and clubbing and all that..then live ur fun and young life years and then get married and have kids..im so sorry that u had a misscarriage..jus follow ur heart and u'll know what u want to do wit ur life!!
2007-02-21 07:39:05 · answer #9 · answered by hawnhonugirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i would pobably think about getting married before trying to have kids. but the reason that is on your mind all the time is because God created us to like s e x. so he made that to be the way we get pregnant and of course he made us to love babies and want to take care of them. i am kind of like you but I don't think about it all the time but i really want to have a kid of my own.
2007-02-21 07:57:35 · answer #10 · answered by Autumn B. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋