isn't this wrong? i ask him and he says stuff like oh you did not do this or if u do this for me i will have sex...for example~ when he does not want to go to the store to buy his beer and makes me go he says if you do i might have sex w/u tonight~ i feel horrible!! i feel he punishes me by witholding sex if he can not get his way . i feel manipulated.
2007-02-21 07:24:40 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell him to stop. He just wants to control you. If he refuses to change, find a way release your tension by engaging in prayer, a hobby or creative activity. I am sure a man needs a good loving every now and then, men can't live without sex forever. He will sooner or later come back to you, begging to have you back. Good luck!
Don't turn tables on him. This eventually backfires, it will make your husband jealous, suspicious, angry, and down the road can lead to a divorce. The right choice is yours.
2007-02-21 07:28:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋
That's just wrong. You should talk with him & tell him how this makes you feel. Sex shouldn't be on the grounds of "if you do this for me, you'll get laid". It shouldn't be a "chore". He sounds spoiled to me. Have you been married a long time? Sometimes those fireworks disappear after people have been married a while. Try dressing up sexy & turning him on. I know it sucks to seem to always have to "start" something, but this way, perhaps it will perk his interest without a chore involved. If he flat out turns you down after going to such efforts, then you have choices. You can try talking with him again & seeing if there's some sort of issue on his part, or you could cheat & find someone who treats you better, or you could divorce him, take him for all he's got & find you someone that isn't such a turd. ;)
2007-02-21 07:32:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've never heard of a man witholding sex from a woman. Your response should be to him if you thought I we're attractive you wouldn't say no or punish me the way you do. As you walked out the door and told him to F@ck off
2007-02-21 07:30:07 · answer #3 · answered by gregory_usa83 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry hun, you ARE being manipulated!!! You are in an abusive relationship. Mental abuse, and you are allowing it to happen.
Sex is sex and not a bargaining chip. Is he worth what you are going through? It will not change and the only thing you can do about it is to get out!!!!!. If you do and he calls promising to change....NOT!!! he may for a week or so until he feels he has you right back where he wants you and it will start all over again.
He is scum and it is ABUSE!!!!!!!
2007-02-21 07:35:28 · answer #4 · answered by mom tree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, girl, GO to the store & buy him his beer, while your OUT...make a stop at one of those adult stores for YOURSELF...a different kind of tool! You'll never need to go without again! Show it to him when you get home...tell him NOT to bother any more...you got THAT part of your life covered! Do NOT let him watch! Pervert! Y' all know that's what he'll say...tell him if he "goes out to the store to buy you a bouque of flowers & wine" you'll be waiting. If his answer is no, shut the bedroom door and LOCK it with him on the OUTside of it! Fool to mess with a woman in THAT dept...a woman can have her pick...don't let him do this to you EVER again! Good luck!
2007-02-21 07:37:57 · answer #5 · answered by luv2bake 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This needs to be discussed with your husband. You should not, under any circumstance, feel you have to be a slave in order to have intimaticies with your own husband. Tell him how you feel. If that doesn't work, make him get his own beer, tell him to make you dinner, and if he doesn't, withold sex from him to show him what it feels like .
2007-02-21 07:30:12 · answer #6 · answered by Meredith 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first you need to talk to him about his stupid behavior and let him know that you are not happy about it. explain to him that he's making you feel like he is mistreating you and that you want him to stop seeing you as his servant and start seeing you as his with wife.
if that doesn't work then he's just trying to have things his way. well, you can play that game too,don't beg him or give him any.
at one point in time he will be crawling to you for it. especially if he believes that you are no longer asking for it because you are getting it some where else.
turn the tables on him girl and besides, he's your husband, he's suppose to give and receive, not manipulate and receive.
2007-02-21 07:42:00 · answer #7 · answered by mysticshabs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
'''yuck''' is the word. You have a lot of work to do on this immature, idiot..those were justmild words to describe him. He certainly luvs to play the slave master sort of role, and trust me you will soon see this wearing u out. You'd get tired of this, and start really really thinking on why you got stuck here.
But thinking of the other side of the coin, are you sure your husband does not care for you and all htese are his ''fetish'' or...perhaps just making you do things that turn him on ? Find out, tell him you do not feel happy about htis, but tell him only after you have given him a piece of what he did to you. For example, do what he tells you, and get preoccupied, pretend you dont care, and you really dont get turned on. Sleep early, or perhaps after you finish your '''servant'' job, just lie down and read a book, or ignore him completely. He would really wonder why your so nasty and his plans of degrading and humiliating you will change to himself being asking you why you were behavin that way.
Do not ''beg'' for sex, please. From your question it looked like he knows you love it, and that you'd go tailing him around. Let him tail you around for a change, and be calm, relaxed, and just enjoy all the attention...
if you feel.....its really awkward and you cannot do anyting about it, then either you live with him prepared that you will have to play his slave all your life, or you just walk out likea princess who demands her own wishes...its all up to you...
good luck
2007-02-21 07:39:55 · answer #8 · answered by arya 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being manipulated. Your husband is making you a slave to do what he wants. True love does not have stipulations attached to it. People that love one another should be willing to do things for one another. Make him get his own beer. Sex should never be conditional, it should be an expression of love and a way to strive to make your partner happy.
2007-02-21 07:35:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You feel like you're being manipulated, because you are. Just go without for awhile and say "Get your own beer or YOU'RE not getting sex tonight". Don't even act like you want it. Good luck to ya. :)
2007-02-21 07:30:09 · answer #10 · answered by Devon M 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I said don't do anything that you don't want to for sex. He should have sex with you because he loves you and its his dutty as a husband not because you earned it. Thats just not right.
Tell him no more and after a while of you not giving in or ignoring hopefully he will change and but if not you need to really ask your self what is going on in your marriage.
2007-02-21 07:32:25 · answer #11 · answered by Christina L 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋