me and my husband will be married for a year in april and im already feeling maybe we shouldnt be together. I'm 6 months pregnant so i know alot of this may be just my hormones but i cant help how i feel. My husband is a good man and takes very good care of me and my daughter, and is very excited about our son thats on the way. My problem is that he is never home. I know he has to work but he works 10 hour days and has been volunteering to work overtime for an extra 30 hours a week. I'm very lonely. I moved to this town when we got married and i dont know anyone so i have to rely on my husband for all social interaction. He works so much when he is home all he does is sleep and I feel like im losing my mind. I'm on bedrest so i never get out and i'm so lonely it is depressing me. what would you do? i know its not my husbands fault he has to work but he's making no time for me. He says we are married and live together so he doesnt need time for me we see each other every day!
2007-02-21 07:24:29 · 14 answers · asked by Crystal Woods 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I understand that it's hard. My husband is gone two weeks at a time for his job. And your pregnant! If I was you, just go out and try to meet one other friend. (when you are off of bed rest) All you need is one... and then you get adopted by all of her friends, and so on. Tell your husband how you feel. Sometimes men are really oblivious to our feelings. I know mine is. The only way he will know, is if you tell him. Very important.....be very clear...do not accuse him. Tell him. If you accuse him he will get defensive, and that usually lead to a fight. Hope everything works out! Good luck sweetie.
2007-02-21 07:37:41 · answer #1 · answered by Puglovinlady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you expressed your feelings to your husband? After you have this baby you need to get out and socialize on your own. Don't always rely on your husband for that. Get into volunteering your time someplace. Go to school, find a hobby or just take on some sites. If he's a good man and providing for the family than you should be thankful. While you are on bed rest think about the places you would like to see around town. Take your kids around town show them the sites.
2007-02-21 15:40:00 · answer #2 · answered by uneekqamar2004 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is probably feeling a lot of pressure right now to provide for his family. You said he cares for you and your daughter already, now he has another child on the way. It sounds like you have a wonderful man that is doing all he can to provide for his family, by working as much overtime as he can. He may be trying to make as much money as possible now so he can take some time off to enjoy his baby boy when he is born. I know it must be frustrating that he is never home, but the bills needs to be paid! Im sure he wishes he could be home with you and your daughter all the time! You should sit down and talk with him and explain how you're feeling, see what he says!
Good luck!
2007-02-21 15:31:55 · answer #3 · answered by Katie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are being extremely selfish and childish. You are a grown woman and you can find your own friends to be with when he can't be with you because he's out earning money to pay for his expanding family. Honestly, what are you whining about? Most women would be so happy that he's working, earning money to take care of you and loves you. If you divorce on this basis you will be sorry. There are so many women out there who have husbands who won't work, cheat on them, use drugs or alcohol to excess, beat them, etc... Consider yourself blessed to have the man you have and grow up some and develop your own interests to occupy your time!
I'm sorry to be so blunt, but believe me, you have nothing to worry about here and you're just bored. He CAN'T be with you all the time and you will just have to get used to that. He HAS to work to support your family. Try to think of things that you can do for him to make him feel special and loved and appreciated. Learn to cook so that you can make him great meals. Iron his clothes, get ready for your new baby by taking parenting classes, make him cookies. If you're on bedrest, at least you can read and enrich your mind. Do him (and yourself) a favor and get yourself into a good happy mood before he gets home so that you can at least enjoy the time you DO have together instead of lamenting the time apart.
2007-02-21 15:37:01 · answer #4 · answered by Dovie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to first make sure that is overtime checks are balancing out with the hours that he is working. There is a slim possibility that he is cheating. My motto is "What it took to get me is what it is going to take to keep me." If he wasn't spending any time with you before then you shouldn't expect any time now, this is what you settled for. But if he was spending time with you before and now is not then you might want to sit down and address the way you are feeling.
2007-02-21 15:46:22 · answer #5 · answered by Cherri 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to have a talk to him. Your emoitions are all over the place and you need some TLC specially from him. This is a time when you need him and just let him know and be complete honsted. Also try in get new friends and maybe a hobbie. Chruch is always a good place also.
Good Luck.
2007-02-21 15:37:37 · answer #6 · answered by Christina L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is definitely your hormones. If he is a good man and takes care of you and your daughter, then maybe you need to get more into chatting online since you are bedridden. Once the baby comes, thengs should get better. If he is working so much OT, it may be to suppliment the income and that allows you to stay at home and take care of yourself. I wish I had someone to take care of me and mine. Good luck.
2007-02-21 15:32:19 · answer #7 · answered by It's Me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok.. again, u want something to change, u have to flip the switch, he's not getting it cause its not happening to him, so as much as it kills u to do.. give him the cold shoulder when he's home, get busy reading books.. or something and avoid him, eventually he'll get sick of it, and want ur attention.. at that point u explain to him how it makes u feel when he does it to u.. and I would suggest atleast one day a week u have "family " day, unplug phones, he doesnt work.. etc and atleast that one day a week is devoted to ur family..
2007-02-21 15:34:15 · answer #8 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell your husband that he need's to cut his hours down that your depressed and lonely if he wants your marrige to work he'll listen to your needs once your baby is borned it might get better for you at least your husband works some men don't and you said he takes care of you just tell him how your feeling and congradulations on your coming baby and when he is borned you won't have time to be lonesome you'll have your daughter and baby to keep you busy you are lucky you should be proud of your husband and baby in your stomach and daughter
2007-02-21 15:39:20 · answer #9 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cut the guy some slack, he is pulling a lot of weight as you write. Wait till you have the baby, and get out with the kids and make some friends. You will be okay, he sounds like he is putting his all into providing for your family.
2007-02-21 15:30:03 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋