Found out for the fourth time he lied to me about financial problems....?

Question

I caught him in 3 lies before this one. All things that I didnt care about if he only was upfront about it. Since he "lied" to me it just makes it worse. If he only took responsibility to pay them and was on time I wouldnt even care. Your credit is your lifeline if you want to have a nice house, car, things that you want, places you want to go. I told him if he doesnt straighten up we have no life together. What does he do again? lie right to my face about another stupid lie. He is divorced and has a 3 year old son. I have no kids of my own just 2 cats. Im 29. They live with me in my home I bought and paid for. I have excellent credit while his is shot. He does make good money. I dont want to marry a man that will bring me down to his level as soon as I share his name. I dont think I can do it anymore.....besides his ex is psychotic and his child already shows signs of growing into a brat because of his upbringing. Probably a blessing that I get out? anyone else in the same situation

It does hurt that his son will be uprooted again. It bothers me knowing how he is being raised by them. I try my best but of course Im not his mother and never will be. All I can be is a role model. I know kids will be kids at that age but looking now into the future it will be a nightmare. Weve been together for 2 years and all of this is just coming out. I wonder what else he has lied about just to get me to stay with him....

Answer 1

Poor you this does not sound good at all.he has a bad history and living in your house he is liable to give you a bad credit rating just by using your address,think you know what to do you said it yourself ,don't hang about . There are plenty of great people out there don't settle for second best .

Answer 2

Yes he will bring you down to his level as soon as you get married, and most likely walk off with half your assets (if there are any left by then - more likely you'll get half his debts) in the subsequent divorce, leaving you unable to pick yourself back up because your credit rating will be shot.

People either lie about money or they don't, and if they do then that's the sort of person they are. If he's expecting you to bail him out then that's even worse.

I have no idea what possessed you to let the two of them move in, but you must do whatever you need to do to extract yourself from this situation.

I expect he will try to use the child as a guilt-trip weapon to stop you from kicking him out. Just remember - both parents were prepared to throw that kid's life into turmoil so that THEY could split up. So neither of them is in any position to throw that at you. While it's a shame that he's going to be uprooted again you didn't put him in this position and you are not responsible for his welfare.

Answer 3

I think its harder for men when it comes to admitting financial failure. From being kids were told that we're supposed to be the bread winner. Perhaps he was just being too stupidly macho to let you know. Even with this defence though, it's all problems that you don't really need and could have been avoided if he had any sense.
A lot of people would say that either their ex or partners ex is psychotic. If you do break up, there's a pretty good chance your new fella will have a kid and psychotic ex too.

Answer 4

Well lets just say that sound rather familiar.
I only had I cat though. I found out too late what he was really like with money.
Not until people came round the house asking for money. So I left but i also left with a few thousand pounds dept. Because i put things in my name.
I was young and stupid.
So i would get out of there make sure he has nothing on you before you leave.

Good luck

Answer 5

You are horrible.

Yes, he could have told you the truth about is debt and money woes, but who does that right away?!?! Most people are too proud...and if you had just thought about it for one second, you could probably figure out all on your own that he was probably responsible for child and spousal support.

So now his marriage family breaks apart, has a MUCH lighter wallet from legal fees, the divorce, support payments...he has to cater to you and your two cats, getting berated by you b/c you chose to be by yourself.

I'd say dump him; you'll be much happier with the felines alone.

Answer 6

im not in the same situation, but i had parents that argued all the time about money, they nearly got divorsed over it.

The thing is now i have a trust thing with money, it took me along time to trust my husband with money, and if i caught him lying to me, i am the sort of person that gives chances. But i think that i would give him the boot after so many times.

I think that you've answered your own question.

Life is too short, if he doesn't make you happy, what else are you missing out on?

Good luck!

Answer 7

Hi!

I'm not in the same situation, but ARE YOU MAD!!

You SO deserve better!!!

Kick the loser and his brat out NOW - RIGHT THIS MINUTE!!!

I can't believe you've given him so many chances and he's still up to his old tricks!

I think you already now what you've got to do, don't you?

Just take the bull by the horns and EVICT them!

Best of luck.

Answer 8

i could. Say thretin to run away and ifthey do no longer pay any interest and do i do no longer comprehend the place you reside yet in the previous you begin on thisplan you will desire to desire to tootle and print out some psychiatric clinics such by using fact the only i pass to for my suicidal deppresion called "pathways". then you somewhat can run to one in all those places and tell them the situation. it works!!! very own journey! are you able to delight help and answer a number of my questions

Answer 9

1) do not marry him
2) all 3 yeAR OLDS ARE BRATS (just wait till the teenage years)
3) make him setup stnding orders for the bills
4) make sureif he mucks up after that then tell him to go.

Answer 10

Hon give him an eviction notice and find a guy that can keep his life in better balance. When you have a relationship with a guy who is divorced expect baggage.. lots of baggage!