Is this marriage doomed? Do I call of the wedding? Do I postpone the wedding? He is not cheating. We do have sex about once a week. What do I do? I gave him back my engagement ring tonight.
2007-02-21 06:53:49 · 48 answers · asked by Learning is fun! 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why does he not what to have sex now when u have been having it? I'd talk to him and find out what made him decide this. If u can talk it out then i'd say ur marriage is not doomed, it show y'all can work through issues. A marriage is about learning to agree to disagree and compromise. But, if y'all can't work something as simple as sex out, y'all may have some problems.
2007-02-21 06:56:51 · answer #1 · answered by Miss C.J. 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Run for the hills, sister! Something is NOT right here! Earlier you said this guy was from Germany, it is possible he is using you for a green card (I'm no authority on this BTW) or is a closet homosexual (I'm no authority on this, either). Regardless, something is not right.
At the very least, he owes you a reason WHY he is doing about face on this. I mean, what gives? He can have sex with you now, but not after you are married? And speaking from personal experience, once a week now is not that much. The sex usually does decrease after marriage (so I hear), but to announce no sex even before you are married is extremely suspicious!
If you don't out and out call of the wedding (which by giving back the ring, you have) postpone it indefinitely until you get to the bottom of this!
Good luck, friend!
2007-02-21 07:04:34 · answer #2 · answered by I See You 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I find that fascinating, to be honest. What are his reasons behind WHY he doesn't want to continue having sex AFTER marriage? Sounds pretty odd to me. If I were in your shoes, I'd ask him what his reasons are for that statement. I'd keep the ring, just for all the trouble in the first place, & then I'd tell him to stuff it. Quite simply because I believe the "no sex AFTER marriage" was because he didn't want to be responsible for child support should we divorce. Which is B. S. plain & simple. BUT that's just my opinion. Oh & only having sex just 1 time a week? Are you a couple over 60-70? I bring this up because most relationships (even though it varies from month to month, or argument to argument) have sex at least 2-3 times a week. Sex shouldn't be a chore, by any means, but you both should be wanting it more than just once a week, unless there's a physical or mental problem somewhere.
2007-02-21 07:23:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't want to have sex now imagine what will happen when you are married. Sex if it is once a week before you get married will dwindle down to once a month then every three months and then never again. You will end up resenting each other and you will hate him and have an affair. You will blame yourself but it is his fault. Don't get married it's a waste, at least don't marry him.
By the way a lot of the women think it's sweet he wants to wait to make it better. MEN DON'T THINK LIKE THAT UNLESS THEY ARE GAY OR DON'T WANT TO GET MARRIED. Men want all the sex they can get. Any man who tells you different is lying. Ask Chris Rock. Men are always offering Dick. When they open the door for you or compliment you on your perfume,they are saying would you like some Dick with that? Would you like fries with that? Men that do not want to have sex are probably gay or getting sex from another woman. We do ware out and if we just had sex we are not into it again for at least a half hour..Don't marry this guy.
2007-02-21 07:01:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of people quit having sex a few months before marriage. It is nothing to worry about. Maybe he just doesn't want anything to go wrong. You should go get your ring back and ask him exactly why he wants to postpone sex. He is the only one that has the right answer for you. Don't be mad at him. If yall hold off for 3 more months, your wedding night is going to be AWESOME!!!! Trust me!!
2007-02-21 07:46:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your fiance doesn't want to have sex after you're married or before? If after, it's a good thing you gave back the ring. Now run away as quickly as you can. I'm not saying the situation is the same, but the last couple I knew who faced this dilemma wound up divorced after two years because the husband liked to go out at night to pick up men....
If he's only talking about the time until the wedding night and honeymoon, then perhaps you should consider his wishes in the matter. He has a reason for the request -- why don't you ask him what it is?
2007-02-21 07:03:05 · answer #6 · answered by NJGuy 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I admire you for thinking this through! Good for you. I think you are absolutely right! There alot of reasons you should not get married.At least not for a long time. You are not ready., You know yourself. You need to finish highschool. He sounds inmature, and rather selfish. Youre' right, he should respect your wishes, or at least consider them.I suggest: throw the marriage idea out the window. The timing just isn';t there. Finish school. If he can't wait, he's not worth it. You have your whole life ahead- possibly college, a career. Don't throw it all away for someone that obviously doesn't have your best interests at heart. You deserve much better. He sounds like a loser(sorry!) Why does he want to get married? Would he go to marriage counseling? What do the parents have to say about all this?
2016-05-24 03:34:36 · answer #7 · answered by Danielle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not unusual for some couples to stop having sex until the wedding night.
He may feel that it will make it more memorable for the both of you.
Surly 12 weeks won't kill you and it's not a sign of a doomed marriage. But if you can't wait, there's nothing wrong with getting your self a vibrating toy.
2007-02-21 06:59:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't want to have sex until you get married or just not at all even after?
If he just wants to wait for the 3 months I don't see what the big deal is.
Also if you are ready to call of the wedding over something like this then maybe you guys aren't ready to get married. Marriage is not all going to be bliss. Love is work... and if your not willing to put in the work you will not have a successful marriage.
Take care.
2007-02-21 06:59:42 · answer #9 · answered by Kamunyak 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Did he mean that he doesn't want to have sex EVER? Or did he mean just until after you are married. I've heard of engaged people not having sex until after their wedding as a means of making the wedding night more special. I think that's kinda of a nice idea actually.
You need to get more info from him about why he said that before you can make a decision of calling it quits.
2007-02-21 06:59:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not have sex until you are married, not have sex after you're married, never again? Is he super religious?
If he wants to wait till the wedding night, it's weird but sweet.
If he wants to stop after the wedding or right now and forever, he's probably gay.
I'd call it off either way.
2007-02-21 06:58:25 · answer #11 · answered by Anne 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋