Can you correct this fro me? please help.?

Question

i am going to have a presentation today on" the most influential people in your life", i want to make sure what i havae prepared is correct and organize and sufficient as fro a 5 min presentation. this is what i have prepared::
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Who has been the most influential person in my life? There are more than one. As I stepped into new situations, I have encountered new people, and each one has taught me a new, unique lesson. Most influential of all have been my parents: my father, for his great heart, honesty, and tolerance; and my mother, for her kindness, morality, and strength as a feminist. They have become my pattern.

Even though I haven’t learned everything they tried to teach me, I have tried to apply the values and principles I learned from them, and that has helped me in situations that arose in my life over the years. Even now, my parents remain a guiding influence in my life.

My mother has taught me to be a strong woman, know who I am, how to act in public and in life.
Her marriage is a tribute to that. She and my father both taught me that staying together, working together, playing together and sticking together are all lessons we have to learn to get along with people in general, not just the spouse.
She is a strong woman. She knows what she wants and knows how to get it.
Because of her, I always try my best to get what I want and reach my goal.
She is a feminist, who has done a lot of activities during her life, who wont stop her activities.

Beside, my father is great in tolerance. My mother’s kindness is not compared to my fathers. Since he finished his studying, he has worked hard to reach the best. And he has done it very well. i am a lazy girl, so whenever I get frustrated, I just imagine my father and his endeavor. It can urge me to not to stop, and try my best to catch my goal.
I am not a complete person, and I know that I can’t be as perfect as my mother and father are, but, at least, I can try my best to follow them in some way.

Answer 1

Who has been the most influential person in my life? There are more than one. As I HAVE stepped into new situations, I have encountered new people, and each one has taught me a new, unique lesson. THE most influential of all (maybe put 'however' here?) have been my parents; my father, for his great heart, honesty(no comma) and tolerance(comma) and my mother, for her kindness, morality (no comma) and strength as a feminist. They have become my pattern. (Pattern for what? How to live your life?)

Even though I haven't learned everything they tried to teach me, I have tried to apply those values and principles I learned from them, and that has helped me in situations that arose in my life over the years. Even now, my parents remain a guiding influence in my life.

My mother has taught me to be a strong woman, know who I am, AND how to act in public and in life.
Her marriage is a tribute to that. She and my father both taught me that staying together, working together, playing together and sticking together are all lessons we have to learn to get along with people in general, not just OUR spouse.
She is a strong woman. She knows what she wants and knows how to get it.
Because of her, I always try my best to get what I want and reach my goal.
She is a feminist, who has done a lot of activities during her life, AND won't stop her activities.
ALSO, my father is great in tolerance. My mother’s kindness is not compared to my fathers. Since he finished his studying, he has worked hard to reach the best(comma) and he has done it very well. I am a lazy girl, so whenever I get frustrated, I just imagine my father and his endeavor. It can urge me to(delete 'to') not to stop, and try my best to catch my goal.

14 minutes ago
I am not a complete person, and I know that I can’t be as perfect as my mother and father are, but,(delete comma) at least, I can try my best to follow them in some way.


good luck, hope this helps

Answer 2

I think it's quite good, and you use punctuation well (not that it matters, since it's oral). The only real error I noticed would apply only if it were written ("fathers" should have an apostrophe in " My mother’s kindness is not compared to my fathers."). Also, that sentence sounds like it might be missing a word, or something. Likewise, paragraphing it a bit off. Plus, I agree with the second answerer that there is a superfluous "to" in "It can urge me to not to stop...."

Further, though I think the first answerer was quite rude, I do agree that it would best be done without notes. However: good job.

Answer 3

no. I cannot correct it for you.

Practice it yourself (I don't know about your mother, talk to a shrink), aloud. Don't read from your notes, that's bad manners.