how can I move on from a painful divorce ?

Question

I feel so betrayed and angry .any ideas on how to just be happy again?

Answer 1

You just gotta give it some time, get into your new routines, accept things as they are once you've learned what you need to know, and when you are happy again, then you can think about where you are going in life without making yourself miserable.

Answer 2

Been there and had to deal with it myself. Its going to take alot of time. You will feel betrayed and angry for about two to three years then after that you will start seeing changes in how you accept new friends and feelings.You will still have some bad days even after three years but it will pass. I think it's important to notice how you feel and how you react to people during this time.The reason I say this is because when you start to date again or going out your standards will be higher than before.Also you will be a better person morally and mentally because of the things you have been through.Next time you are in a relationship the pain you endured will be a reminder of what can happen if both of you don't work together.

Answer 3

Just take it one day at a time. Remember that all men are not your ex. Be open to new situations and people. You have a brand new fresh start. The past is behind and you have a bright future ahead. Look towards that. Leave the betrayed and angry feels behind and look up. Be glad the situation ended, celebrate, you have a clean slate, start from this moment forward.

Answer 4

Sounds kind of corny, but time will heal.If he betrayed you then you have a right to feel betrayed.Anger will go away,you get out and see people that you like to be around.Fill in all the empty space with shopping,long trips,outdoor activities.And don't get lonely and jump at any fool that preys on you.Be careful there are meat-eaters out there that will try to prey on the helpless.Stay strong.I went thru this and every day had to tell myself that I would make it,and I did.

Answer 5

Only time will heal the pain in your heart. Unfortunately if there was a magic cure I think I would be rich selling it to alot of women and men out there. You need to go through the anger, the pain the betrayel or you will never heal. You cannot rush ahead to heal. Divorcing is like a death and for you to get over this person you usually have to dislike them for awhile anyways. So all these emotions are necessary

Answer 6

I know exactly how you feel. I divorced after being married for 29 years. It was such a messy divorce, we were in court every month for 14 months. After that many years there is a whole lot of property to fight over and we did a great job of fighting over it. That was 11 years ago and now that same stuff mostly has turned to junk in my eyes. I'm thinking back to what helped me get on with my life. No one ever asked me why I divorced him, but several asked why it took me so long. Although most of our family and friends thought the divorce was all his fault there were things that I felt very guilty about. One day, I was just messing around and started making a list of my good points and bad points and amazed myself when I realized that despite the mean things he said to me, I was really a very good person. I was really feeling very hateful and mean and that helped me get beyond those feelings. I spent a lot of time getting to know myself. I had been in the habit of giving in so long that I didn't know my own feelings, likes and dislikes. No more social life about the things he liked to do, like sporting events and playing golf. I started watching the local newspapers announcements about groups that I had an interest in pursuing. I stayed pretty busy doing lots of things that I later decided didn't mean all that much to me and focused on things I really do like but checking out lots of stuff kept me from sitting around being depressed until I sorted myself out. I worked for a huge company so had the advantage of knowing a lot of men but I chose not to date until I could have a good attitude about men in general and that took some time. I've now developed some nice men friends as well as friendships with other single women but I have not ever thought I want to remarry. That could be all about my age but I do know some older couples who hooked up later in life. I found that I cherish my freedom, quiet times at home alone and really don't want to give that up. You might find the same thing when you've had time to evaluate your true feelings. But be careful that you don't jump from the frying pan into the fire. I've seen so many needy women grab the first guy who comes along and he is so often just like the guy you just got rid of. What you need is time and moving someone else into the spot that was recently vacated before you've healed enough to be honest with yourself is never good. If you need a warm body in your bed at night, get a pet. LOL I really did that as one of the groups I got active with is an animal rescue group and I have 3 cats and 2 dogs. Very cuddly and not real demanding (grin)! I also found a church I like and I'm working on my spiritual side and am amazed at how deep that is. I hope some of this makes sense to you and helps you get through the hurt. I can't begin to tell you how many times I had to tell myself that this too shall pass. Time helps the most if you can keep from screwing up jumping into a new relationship too fast. Good people make mistakes but it's not a waste of time and energy if you grow from it. God bless you!

Answer 7

It takes time. I know, it's easier said than done. But you have to believe in yourself. First and foremost, you have to let go of the pain. There's a saying, "If you had a chance to get even, and you took it, you're not over it. But if you didn't than you're over it". Don't let it control your life. Good luck.

Answer 8

Like Greg says, it just takes time - maybe about a year - before you start to be your old self again.

Answer 9

Many have done it before. Just keep on moving. Do something for yourself and get it out of your system.