My boyfriend and I have been together for about 2 years. We moved in together about 6 months ago, but we practically lived together before that, since one of us always spent the night at the other's house. Now, things are changing and I want to stop it before they get terrible. We both feel like we're married now. Even though neither of us stops the other from going out with friends, we tend to just sit on the couch and watch tv together every night, which is strange since we're young...I'm 20, he's 22. We've begun to lose the romance from our relationship...we rarely kiss, snuggle, and sex comes about once a month now. We still get along great, but its starting to feel like we're best friends instead of lovers. When I suggest moving out or taking a break, he says he doesn't want to because he would miss me too much, but I miss the passion we once had in our relationship and that's the only way I can think of getting it back. Anybody have any advice?
2007-02-21 06:25:05 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I don't mean to stereotype marriage as being passionless, so sorry that it came out that way.
2007-02-21 06:37:58 · update #1
i have been married for over 25 years and it never felt like a rut and we have always had passion for each other,we still snuggle and kiss and other things,he is my best friend, lover and everything i need,if you want the passion back then tell him you love him everyday and you set the mood,start a date night just for the two of you,it sounds like you have a great relationship just keep building it up,and by the way being best friends is the best thing for a relationship
2007-02-21 06:33:36 · answer #1 · answered by san_ann68 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband is 25 and I am 24 and we don't go out ever... I mean we do together once in awhile but maybe you are just that type of people. You would rather sit on the couch then go out there is nothing wrong with that. If you want sex more than that then jump him, It is a two way street and maybe your libido has gone down, if that is the case then go talk to a doctor and see if something is wrong which I doubt. Talk to your boyfriend and tell him that you want that spark that you once had. You shouldn't move out or take a break, how will taking a break solve the issues, it will cause resentment and issues. When you watch tv, snuggle with him, Kiss him in the morning, take the steps and in time he will realize how much he missed the physical closeness.
2007-02-21 06:29:53 · answer #2 · answered by Hawaiisweetie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You give marriage a bad name by assuming that all marriages fall into ruts. There are people who like having a routine, crisis free relationship. Also, the initial buzz may have worn off, but if the underlying love is there you can still show an interest in each other.
If you want a more exciting relationship you both need to work at it. Have you considered date night? Wear some sexy things. Make efforts to be physically affectionate. Take a weekend trip to some place neither of you have been. Would he consider taking ballroom dancing classes? (which would have you in his arms at least during class)
2007-02-21 06:38:49 · answer #3 · answered by Lorrie C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Taking a break would help, but you seem like the only one that wants this break. When you take a break, after a while, you will feel differently towards him. Your feelings may come back. I'm not saying they're gone, but the passion is. My friend dated someone from Indiana. Their relationship was great, because he was working down here all the time, but they didn't smother each other. They were away from each other enough to really, really enjoy being together, and they would do something fun and special whenever they went out or saw each other. Taking a break would definitely help this, I think. Suggest this to him again. Tell him you don't want to take the break either, but you think it will help. Good luck!
2007-02-21 06:40:57 · answer #4 · answered by Abby 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you both are much to young to sound like an old marry couple..You can try a few things yes they will sound weird to you but worth a shot..when either of you go out have the other go to where you are and use a pick up line on each other..You could also try having a romantic dinner just for 2 with out the t.v. put a plastic cover over you bed and add baby oil have some fun with it. You could also start making out again tease him with your tongue so many things that you both could do to put the spark back.. Come right out and ask him what things he likes as well as you telling him things you like done...Good Luck
2007-02-21 06:37:04 · answer #5 · answered by charmed4412 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You already moved in together and moving apart would be backwards and probably not good. Absence does make the heart grow fonder. The problem is you are too used to each other being there 24-7.
Y'all need to get seperate friends and go out SEPERATELY. Go out with family if you must, just get away sometimes, a few times a week.
2007-02-21 06:32:23 · answer #6 · answered by Caramella 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've got to spice it up! I met my fiance wearing a jean mini skirt and a lingerie top with candles lit the other day. That will put some spark back into the relationship.
Unless that is you don't want to be with him any more. If you want to move out don't let him tell you what to do.
Honestly, either move out and cut him loose if you don't think the relationship is going anywhere or put your all into making the relationship the best it can possibly be. Its your decision.
2007-02-21 06:31:11 · answer #7 · answered by metz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try starting over, what i mean by that is reintroduce yourselves, and act like you've never met, do things with each other that you haven't done before. A really good thing to do is try to meet some new people so your surroundings aren't always the same.Maybe sometime when you go to your moms have him pick you up from there for a date.
2007-02-21 06:31:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Spice up your sex life. Seriously. My best buddy got married about two years ago and fell into a rut about six months ago, and I convinced him to try to spice up their sex life (and, for you, that's whatever you're comfortable with). Now, you should know what turns your guy on. Do that more often, etc. Only you can know where you would want to go.
And, in all seriousness, great sex can solve a lot of issues.
2007-02-21 06:30:07 · answer #9 · answered by Faint 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem. Basically I decided I was going to go out whether he wanted to or not. After a few nights of me coming home and telling him how much fun I had he wanted to go to. Look online and find fun places in your town to go to, or make up your own fun. Go down to the beach at night or a park. Take walks.
Oh and uh...buy some lingerie...that brings alot of passion to the game...
2007-02-21 06:30:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋