Mine is a love marriage and I have been married for the past 3 years! By God's grace im extremely happy. My hubby loves me more than i can imagine! But recently, a co-worker who has also had a love marriage told me that the affection in her relationship with her hubby has been deteriorating! She says that this happens to most of the people! She also says that since i haven't concieved and am immensely overweight, my husband would leave me, and my in-laws wouldnt care about me! I earn a handsome salary which is sent to my in-laws every month! She says that my husband needs me only for the contribution i make every month and that once im unfit to earn (which may happen becoz of my obesity) he would leave me! I tried to talk to my hubby about this! He just laughed and ignored me, which means that "you are a fool to believe them"! i don't wanna believe this female! but is there a chance that this kind of situation may arise? I'm a very sensitive person and this thought is torturing me!PH
2007-02-21 06:17:59 · 12 answers · asked by rebi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No Rebi, your freind is not right. She is bitter over things happening to her, and you are really doing wonderful with a loving husband, a good family..
You are feeling insecure, cos' perhpas you know that you are slightly overweight. And it scares you, and you tend to think too many things related to your wonderful relationship with your husband. Out of all this, the message I get is, you love your husband, and your husband loves you very much, BUT you also knowthat you are overweight and your husbands interests may waver.
Please do not harbour on someones philosoply of your life. You, I think, is a very contented person. To be a contented person is also very difficult, cos' its not just physically, but a lot of social problems tend ot make you ''in doubt''.
The best way is first and foremost, just listen to your freind, and say in your mind ''what crap!!!''. Next is, while you know and you are confident your husband loves you, start a secret routine for yourself to shed of fat. Slowly, and dedicated. Give a surprise to your hubby. All this I say is only because you seem to be inconfident due to your weight problems. But otherwise, I still do think your husband does love you. RElax, enjoy the love, and please do not heed to external advises. Okay, since you have located that your insecurity may be due to your over weight, work on it. The way you so nicely worked on your relationship....
Overall, it is difficult to say your husband does not like you, cos' it looks like he does. But to clear your own insecurities, please do work on it. Sit and have a chat with our husband...try to understand, and then, ofcourse, if you really look at this ''so-called'' freind you may see that you are way better off than her...
good luck
2007-02-21 06:31:28 · answer #1 · answered by arya 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK, this woman seems to be an annoying, mean, old gossip, and if I were you I would completely ignore her. However, if this is really tormenting you then you could work on providing some security for yourself. Set up a bank account in your name and save a portion of your paycheck away for yourself every pay day. If you feel your weight is holding you back, think about weight loss programs such as gastric bi-pass surgery or enrolling in a weight loss clinic. But do this for yourself, not because some meddling woman told you you were fat. If you really want a child you could go to the doctor and ask him if there is a medical reason you aren't conceiving. There is now many child bearing options that might help you. However, it is never a good idea to have a child to save a marriage. Only do it if you really want and are ready for one. Most likely you are being very paranoid; your husband loved you enough to marry you- I doubt that will suddenly change. In fact, you may push him away with your lack of trust, so don't let that happen. Good luck.
2007-02-21 14:30:06 · answer #2 · answered by Jeanster88 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all i would definately start taking better care of myself. So many deseases arise from being obease. I am sure you are aware of this fact. It sounds like you are in a loving relationship, and that your husband loves you unconditionally. Is he also contributing to the household? You say that your salary goes to his parents. Is he taking care of all the other expenses of the household? I hope so. I do not want to think he is taking advantage of your good nature. Please start doing something for yourself. You can get some of the weight off, and you do not have to lose your job. Ask for your husbands help and support in reaching some weright loss goals. he can walk with you and share healthy meals. This will be the true test for him to show his full support, and love for you. If he fails, then it may be a red flag to pay closer attention to. And the co-worker may be on to something.
2007-02-21 14:32:19 · answer #3 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Appears as if your co-worker is suffering through what is happening in her marriage, is hurt and angry and therefore she is wants to see others hurt and angry also. In other words, "misery loves company". She lost faith in marriage and is venting it all out on you. All marriages have their good times as well as bad, but if you so far are making your husband happy then I would say you have a good chance of continuing being happy in your marriage. Stop listening to her. And next time she brings up something such as this just smile and say to her "you are right, and if and when it happens to me I will learn to deal with it, but until then I do not wish to listen to what you have to say". Hopefully she will respect your wishes. As for you being over weight, it would be to your benefit if you worked on losing any excess weight. Hope I have helped.
2007-02-21 14:41:57 · answer #4 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this woman is horrible. I cant believe she said those things to another human being. Maybe thats why her marriage fell apart. The happiest marriage I ever witnessed was my parents friends-the extremely overweight wife, happy little husband, no kids and in love like we all dream about. I think theyve been together for about 30 years.
2007-02-21 14:30:20 · answer #5 · answered by sugar 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think this womean is a nasty person to say the least and is sour grapes over your good fortune in having a great relationship. Outward beauty fades but inner beauty remains. SHe clearly has a problem and sounds awfully negative. Keep away from negative people they only drag you down with them. Trust God with your marriage. His opinion is far more valuable than that of mankind. I think this lady has a dislike for you and is saying this to get at you because you irritate her because she is envious of you in reality. Avoid people like that. Thank her for her opinion but dont recieve it. It not good to speak the negative over people. Its just plain nasty thats all! Personally your colleague is a disrespectful person and no doubt treats her husband that way too, hence their marriag going down the tubes. I put my money on that one!!!
2007-02-21 14:34:29 · answer #6 · answered by uniquechild 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop listening to other people. You're being foolish if you believe some idiot woman above your loving husband. Your husband is right- change jobs if you can't deal with this moron.
2007-02-21 14:22:26 · answer #7 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Who do you believe, your spouse or your so called friend?
If you are obese, and insecure about it, call Jenny Craig. And yes, overweight people can conceive.
Good luck
2007-02-21 14:24:27 · answer #8 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen hunny, anything can happen. Prepare yourself, lose the weight, you can do. Only eat lena cuisines, that's how I lost my baby fat.
If he's that kind of person, then you shouldn't be with him anyway.
Good Luck
2007-02-21 14:22:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Please don torture yourself with negative thoughts. The person who told you that is envious of you, of your nice marriage.........I mean it when i tell you that if you persist in asking this to your husband, he will really get angry at you, because he has not done anything to you to deserve your lack of faith in him.
2007-02-21 14:28:11 · answer #10 · answered by Mark N 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋