Teach Me...
Cigarettes and wine stains are all thats left from last night,
Wish I hadnt said those things,
But I had to,
It felt right,
Couldnt bare to see you if we'd never had that fight.
It turns out I can cope just fine,
Lifes less blurry without the wine,
And days are far less stressful,
Not worrying if youre mine.
So now my heart is for the taking,
I dont deny it is still aching,
But its someone new that I want,
Who can teach me love doesnt always end in cigarette burns
and arguments.
2007-02-21 06:06:44 · 13 answers · asked by Lindsay T 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
on a scale of 1 to 10 i give it...an L
2007-02-21 06:09:26 · answer #1 · answered by Huh? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Poetry is all about feeling and how you think. Not all poems need to rhyme and I think that is what is wrong with this one in this instance. It has absolutely no timing to it. No Beat. The wording is good, but not great. Maybe add more. Definitely Thought Provoking.
Feeling: 9/10
Creativity: 8/10
Skillfulness: 4/10
Overall: 7/10
2007-02-21 06:22:13 · answer #2 · answered by The Hitman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
9 /10
2007-02-21 06:10:01 · answer #3 · answered by Ear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its good but the endings a bit wierd. 9/10
2007-02-21 06:13:34 · answer #4 · answered by shopperholicrachel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bear not bare.unless you're using it as a metaphor,which I don't see.
I'm not going to rate it.It's not bad,but it's not that great.
I'm not trying to insult you.You need a little practice,and
check out a book or two on writing poetry if you really want to continue.
2007-02-21 06:16:18 · answer #5 · answered by Zapatta McFrench 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I write alot of poetry myself. I would have to say that I personally thought this was an excellent expression of ones self.
2007-02-21 06:13:02 · answer #6 · answered by Miss Crickett 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's all right, but it could stand for some revising. The end doesn't seem to tie together smoothly. Overall it's not too bad, though.
2007-02-21 06:10:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow..look out Keats..
2007-02-21 06:09:27 · answer #8 · answered by metoo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why leave Eden if that makes you happy. Love is you.
2007-02-21 06:16:30 · answer #9 · answered by GARY M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol you get a 9 from me!haha
2007-02-21 06:13:28 · answer #10 · answered by Brian 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋