My boyfriend's wife came to my house last night looking for her husband. She first asked for the key to the ski trunk because he had taken it when he left 8 months ago. She then told me that I am not to sleep at his house when he has the kids, to respect her kids.
I don't need this aggravation. Three months ago, she called me and told me that she understood that he was sleeping with me and that I can have him, she was giving him to me.
I truly ove this man, but is she going to be here forever? Can I charge her with some crime"?
2007-02-21 05:33:37 · 12 answers · asked by tiaburkeangry 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, she's going to be in his life forever because your boyfriend and her have to parent children together.
I'd encourage you NOT to try to accuse this woman of a crime. Regardless of whether she handed you this man like a used backpack or not, you're the one guilty of a crime at the moment. In most states, adultery also applies to the person a spouse is sleeping with. This man's children aren't going to understand (and shouldn't hear about) one of their parents simply being passed on to someone else. Opening the legal can of worms will damage everyone, including you.
She can't control whether you sleep at this man's house when he has the kids...except by proving adultery or an unsuitable household for them at their father's.
If you don't need aggravation, don't set yourself up to be a stepparent. Truly. It's one of the hardest jobs on earth, and this will only be the beginning. If you can't handle the amount of baggage that comes with him now, leave before you're the one handing him to someone else.
2007-02-21 06:27:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cant charge her with some crime no. If they only broke up eight months ago then sleeping there might not be such a great idea when the kids are living there. Unless the two of you are living together then you shouldnt subject her kids to that. And this is coming from a mother who doesnt live with the father. I dont mind if my ex has women over right now because my baby is only five months old. But when she gets old enough to understand I wouldnt want her subjected to that behavior either. No offence to you but I think shes within her rights to ask you not to spend the night when her kids are there if you are not living together. If you are then to bad. Also because you are already thinking of dumping him I wouldnt hang around his kids in the mean time until you can decide for yourself if you want to take this on or not.
2007-02-21 13:53:07 · answer #2 · answered by jennyve25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you are sleeping with a married man appears to not phase you one bit. Your only concern is "I do not need this aggravation" and "can I charge her with some crime". I agree with her concerns of you not sleeping over when her kids are visiting there father. In fact his visits with his children should be just that, quality time with them where you do not need to be there to complicate things further. You have to be more compassionate and understand of how this is all affected his children. It is hard enough let alone now they are faced with seeing their dad and his new girlfriend. Honestly, you sound to be very self centered and heartless. By telling you this I do hope I am in some way helping you even though I know it is not something you want to hear. Regardless, I do wish the best for you!
2007-02-21 13:45:39 · answer #3 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can. You can get a restraining order against her to keep her from harassing you (you'll have to prove that she's harassing you, but from what you've said I don't think you'll have too much trouble for that). In the meantime, you need to let your boyfriend know that her activity WILL drive a rift between you two...guaranteed. I've seen it happen too many times in the past. The REAL reason his wife continues to interfere with his life is because she obviously still loves him. It's the classic case of when we were kids...if we liked a boy/girl what would we do to get their attention? We'd pull their hair or make fun of them. It seems silly but that's the way it is. Your boyfriend's wife (soon to be EX-wife...hopefully) is simply "pulling your boyfriend's hair" to get his attention. Now as for her telling you not to sleep with him when the children are there, she has NO right to tell you what you can and can't do...you're a grown woman and you can do whatever the heck you want to. That's the BOTTOM line. The truth is she doesn't want you to sleep with him EVER and she's using her children as an excuse (which is classless) for you not to. Trust me on this one, it's true. Your boyfriend's ex still has feelings for him and unless you confront this situation with your boyfriend and/or get a restraining order against her this will NEVER end...EVER.
2007-02-21 13:44:00 · answer #4 · answered by Eddie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of alll, I'll say this if you are with a married man, deal
with all that it comes with it. If you love him so much then
you should have let it be over first. Remember the way the wife is acting, because it could be you in time, remember that !!!!
2007-02-21 13:39:59 · answer #5 · answered by frustrated 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have caused her more aggravation than she to you!! You should be grateful that she is allowing you to be with him without a fight.She has every right to say how she wants her kids to be brought up.She is being very decent,,you are not.Why are you seeing a married man?Does he not love you enough to be seperated or divorced???Triangles are never good for anyone.She could take him to court & sue the pants off of him for he is the one committing adultry.
2007-02-21 13:37:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
YOU ASKED IF YOU SHOULD DUMP YOUR BOYFRIEND. WELL, I WOULD SAY "NO". YOU TWO OBVIOUSLY DESERVE EACH OTHER. AS FAR AS THE WIFE GOES...YES, AS LONG AS THEY HAVE CHILDREN TOGETHER, SHE WILL BE AROUND. AND YOU ASK IF YOU CAN CHARGE HER WITH SOME CRIME? FOR WHAT? WHAT HAS SHE DONE TO YOU? YOU'D BETTER THANK YOUR LUCKY STARS THAT SHE DIDN'T BEAT YOUR NATURAL A** WHEN SHE WENT OVER THERE LAST NIGHT!!!
2007-02-21 13:47:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
None of this qualifies as a criminal act. If she comes repeatedly, yes. But sounds like she has other things to do if she "gave him " to you.
After all, you got involved with a married man.
2007-02-21 13:40:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should dump your boyfriend. He is letting is ex wife still control his life, and she moved in on you. No one just "gives" anyone to anyone, slavery is illegal (yet the government still does it..anyway)
So, tell him to either man up and tell his ex wife to butt of of his life, or you woman up and leave him. The choice is yours..
2007-02-21 13:38:41 · answer #9 · answered by Pandora 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The question you should be asking yourself is, "Is he going to stick around with me when he gets tired of me"?
2007-02-21 13:39:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋