Why do women choose to put their children before their husband?

Question

and then wonder why their marriages are sexless, passionless, and nonfulfiling. I agree with what someone said earlier: Women prepare their whole lives to be married but put nothing into the marriage. Women IF you treat your husband merely as an accessory to your life you are headed for trouble. I have been married for 14 years and I think it has been sucessful because my wife wants ME and not just a husband. We have children, but we understand that we must be nurturing to each other BEFORE we can take care of our family. Does anyone agree?

The only reason I am directing this question at women is because they tend to put their children before their husband. True, husbands have issues as well, but that is not the issue here.

Answer 1

If women learned to put their husbands first, and to treat them like people, rather than a possession, marriages would last longer.

Answer 2

I think usually the women put the kids before the men, since it is there creation. But for the men it varies. Some people do not have strong beliefs in god and have different opinions. To answer your question: I would be fair and put none equally. I would treat everyone well and the same. If you are a man/woman and get divorced: You will probably put your kids first. On Y!A: It is the same thing as real life but sometimes easier to ask people. On Y!A it is like an advice column since nobody knows who you are and you can express yourself freely. I hope I helped.

Answer 3

I think you are right. Hand your wife a copy of Dr. Laura Schlessinger's "Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". I, myself was (and sometimes still am) guilty of this bad behaviour and that particular book saved my marriage...for now.

Meanwhile, nearly every other woman who has answered this question fails to remember that the best gift you can give your child is a good relationship with their daddy.

Simply put, women are becoming more and more selfish. It's about me...help me with the dishes, blah blah blah. If you are lucky enough to be a stay-at-home-mom, then you need to appreciate how much he does by going out to work every day. Is it too much to ask that he comes home to something beautiful? I don't mean leave it to beaver...I mean something better than Married with Children. Which is what most women seem to be anymore. You make me ashamed of my sex.

Answer 4

I find that a lot of women put their man before their children, and that burns my bread! But I think a lot of men are babies, and feel "left out" when a woman has a child. The child needs care and most times care only a mom can give. Marriage is a compromise - a give and take. Both the husband and wife and the children need "alone" time, so it's like a woman has to be superwoman - take care of the kids and her husband. Why not give the old girl a break?

Answer 5

I totally agree! When a couple are truly a couple, their love, happiness, and well being spills over onto their children. They start out as a couple and end as a couple.
However, my mate wasnt of the same thinking. Be ever so thankful you're both on the same page. That is a very rare luxury!

Answer 6

It is ingrained that the woman take care of her kids...in the old days they typically had plenty of time since they stayed home and the kids were their jobs...when it came time for hubby they had it...now a days...they have a career, kids and of course you....someting had to give and it was the guy...if seen this and though I agree with your rationale...it is not survivable in most circumstances...sad...but true...if the guy has a schit load of money to afford his wife to saty at home...it would be great and we wouldn't need a Walgreens....

Men need a new doctrine for you emotional life...Checkout the following website...it should answer many of the questions and feelings you moght have regarding this episode.

http://www.condomsbrasandstraightjackets.com/

Good luck

Answer 7

Kids never stop needing us - be it care as the very young or love and guidance as they get older.

We made it work because we both shared in the responsibility. I wasn't stuck dealing with the kids, the house and meals. By shaing these duties, it left us both with time and energy to have our own special relationship.

So many times a man will expect the woman to take care of the kids, the house, the laundry, cooking etc... and hold a job. Then he wonders why she is too tired to meet his needs.

One thing we did that made a huge difference when the kids were young. We made their bedtime 7:00pm. They slept in their own room. That gave us the rest of the evening to ourselves. We could talk and deal with things in private without interuption.

Answer 8

I think it's important to remember that you're in a relationship with your spouse for a different reason besides raising children. That means taking time to be with your husband/wife besides kid-oriented things. I think that it's understandable for a woman to put her children before her husband since she is their mother but only to a certain age. After a certain age children should be individuals and grow and learn on their own. Good question!

Answer 9

I agree with you that it's not "right" to put your children first and neglect your husband. However, I think I can explain it. It's an animalistic instinct to care for and protect and nurture your young. There's no instinct that causes you to nurture your husband...that takes work. The love a woman has for her child is the closest you can come to unconditional love. No matter what they do, you can easily forgive them because they are your children. Your husband, however, is held to different standards. He's not so easily forgiven and you can hold a grudge against him for much longer.

So, yes, I think a woman needs to keep in mind that the husband deserves as much love and respect as the children. Just remember...it's much harder to do. It doesn't come natural and it takes effort.

Congratulations on such a great marriage.

Answer 10

Children come before husbands because children need to be nurtured, taken care of, disciplined, helped, led to do the right thing, taught vaules and taught how to survive in the world. Husbands should already know all of that and be able to take care of themselves. Therefore children need more than husbands. Husbands should also put children before their wives. Sex, passion, loving, husband wife relationships can go on at the same time as the raising of the children. It takes mature, self confident, responsible adults to do things right. Any man who is jealous of the attention his kids get, is immature, and same goes for women. Kids are with you a short time, marriage is forever.