my daughter who is 14 was found shopliftng makeup?

Question

she was realy upset and sad and dissapointed with her self she said she would never do it again- she never did, do u no anyone who has done that, why do u think she did that, she has never got in to trouble like that before.

some realy great answrs and information guys, its gonna be hard picking the best one since the answers all have great info

Answer 1

Peer pressure and the thrill of getting caught. It's a high basically. I hope she never does it again, it can become addicting.

Answer 2

Growing up, I would consider myself a good person. But I got caught shoplifting when I was 15. That wasn't my first time shoplifting. All my friends were doing it and I wanted to be like them. Plus, I was getting all this cool stuff for FREE. The first time, I did it to see if I could get away with it and I did. So I did it occasionally. Then I got caught. I peed myself in the store--how embarrassing. I vowed never to do it again.

If you daughter is usually good, she may have just been experimenting. Let her know that behavior will not be tolerated and move on.

Answer 3

Likely got into it due to peer pressure and by one of her friends that is doing it and your daughter allowed herself into being cajoled into doing it by her so called friend as it being a harmless dare.

When I was in high school there was a girl from a well-to-do family that used to make a up "shoplifting list" of things she wanted to steal and manipulated other girls into helping her steal, how she went about it and never got caught. Some seemed to get caught up in the "thrill" of the win, much like a gambler does, not so much the actual object that they got.

Of course, the other girls did get end up eventually getting caught, the ring leaders parents found out and were mortified, but didn't punish her and tried to blame it on the other girls.

Bottom line is it was one of the girls ideas and the other just went along for the ride...the trick it to figure out who the ring leader is because that is the one that needs the most punishment and as your daughter is only 14, don't make it easy for her to spend time with that "friend" outside of school but provide plenty of opportunties for your daughter to spend time with other girls and friends that will be a good influence and like-minded parents.

Encourage your daughter to get involved in after-school activities, sports, and community volunteer activities that will get her involved in things that will build her self esteem and positive things she can "win" and do well at.

Answer 4

well, it's bad to shoplift makeup. i used to work as a cust service rep for a grocery store, and when people were caught shoplifting, all the guys in the store would wait at the front and then tackle the thief. they loved tacklin a person, then the police would come and arrest the theif. its very important to learn this lesson early... i hate this, but i have been to jail like 20 times, thankfully for minor stuff like p.i., but i wish i could go back and make it so that i have never been. its soooo important to stay focused in school. i didnt get to graduate, i got my ged, but i missed everything in highschool, electives, prom, graduation... now i feel so far behind, i still have an opportunity to go to college and regain some of what was lost, but i work 2 jobs full time, and i have to use the money to pay for lawyers, to pay for my car being impounded, to pay for jail fines, i have to do labor detail on the weekends, in the rain... its no picnic! ITS NOT COOL, AND I KINDA SUFFER A BIT BECAUSE I MADE STUPID CHOICES... i wish i wish i wish i could go back and do everything the right way, but i cannot change my past, only create my future, so i continue to stay positive, because a bad attitude will kill me! its true! so, here's a solution, if she wants makeup so bad, and she cant pay for it, and youre not gonna buy it for her. cause its VERY expensive... maybe she could start working selling avon or mary kay.... mary kay has a program called MARK which caters to a more youthful agegroup... she'll get all the free makeup she wants plus she'll be making money, AND learning the value of a dollar.

Answer 5

I've been there and done that. It could have been a cry for help. It's good that she did get caught though because each time you get away with it you try and try again. And the items can get even more costly. Don't go to hard on her if you really feel she learned her lesson. Give her lots of love. Maybe take her out for a one on one dinner date. Open up to her so she can feel she can open up to you. Just remember though you are the parent and you have to make her understand that you still have rules but would still like to be someone she can come to in times of needs. You are going to be watching her more closely now but please don't hoover over her like she is a hardened criminal

Answer 6

I shoplifted a bunch of expensive chocolate once when I was the same age. At the time I was showing off to friends who were too afraid to follow suit, and felt all cool and badass and powerful. Not long later I decided the whole thing was petty and stupid, and never did it again.

I think it's something most kids (especially girls) do at some point, but I don't think it has any bearing on their future personalities. If she honestly feels bad then you've really got nothing to worry about.

Answer 7

I used to shoplift all the time when I was 13-14. My little act of rebellion against my upper-middle class, white-bread existence. I got over it in a year and regained my senses. It is very good she shows remorse and an understanding that what she did was not necessarily right according to the law. I'm sure she'll be fine.

Answer 8

I had a friend who did this (really it was my friend and not me) Her family could afford the item, but she just grabbed it. 14 is a really difficult time ( I also have a 14 year old) Talk to her, let her know you are disappointed but you still love her. I think talking to your child is the most important thing you can do in this situation. Make sure her friends did not put her up to it or there is not an underlying issue (boys, insecurity, etc)

Answer 9

I was 13 when i was caught! People make mistakes. I never did it again. Maybe friends were there pressuring her, sounds like she learned. Talk to her and the consequenses that she could have like a record etc.

Answer 10

It sounds like it is time to teach her THE LAW! She is looking for attention. She is doing so by testing her boundries. She wants to see what Mom and Dad will do.

I would teach her the 10 COMMANDMENTS:
8th commandment: Thou Shalt not Steal. ( She stole)
9th Commandmet: Thou shalt not Lie. (She Lied)
10th Commandment: Thou Shalt not Covet. (She acted as though it belonged to her when it did not)

If in fact you can share these laws with her, and you yourself have been keeping them, then maybe she will take direction from you.

The tough part is, if they have no respect for us, because we have not been under any authority, or submission to Gods Laws, then she will not listen to us, because she will see us a hipocrite. So, if this is the case, (be honest with yourself), then you will need to seek out a mentor, possibly a Youth Pastor.

Good Luck, and remember to pray for and with your child daily. It makes the world of difference you may have been looking for.

Answer 11

i'm in highschool and i have a friend who had shoplifted a key chain before but it's not big. maybe a reason that your daughter shoplifted make up was because she didn't want to pay for it or because there's some feeling of importance in doing something naughty once in a while. it's a little hard to explain. another reason could be is that her friend did it and she wanted to copy her but it doesn't mean that there was pressure put on her.