I need guidance from a Mufti or any Muslim Religious Scholar who is thorough in Shariat and Islam, Its urgent?

Question

I married a girl nearly 12 years ago, although I had seen her before marriage and agreed to. After marriage I felt she is not my choice. I wanted a beautiful girl as I am handsome and she is not even good looking although she is more educated than me and also earn more than me. All these years we had umpteen no.of quarrels. I am interested in my opposite neighbour who is a non muslim and has one daughter, the lady is elder to me. I have got habituated to peeping in her window, and she too peeps into mine. 10 days ago, while we were in the process of foreplay, I felt she has come on the window, so I left my wife and opened the windows to have a glance at her, my wife did not like this action of mine and changed her place of sleep. When I went back to call her in the bedroom, to continue, she did come but saying, I am coming only for the sake of God orelse, my God will get angry on me. Later when I asked her if we can have intercourse, she said "As you wish", I did not like this answer,

And I just left her as it is and went to bed. Since then I am not talking to her. She has tried talking to me quite many times, but now I dont feel like even talking to her. Before this also many times I have stopped talking to her and everytime she makes a start. I dont know what should be my next step. Do we need to separate, and what is the period in which by not talking to a wife, we automatically get divorced or what is the necessary period for separation for indirect divorce. Or should I continue with her or we need separation. Please guide me soon. Whenever I peep in my neighbour's window, she gets annoyed, I am tired of this behaviour of hers. I find her an obstacle as she does not agree to my second marriage as she says she can never tolerate my second wife. Although, I am not talking to her, she is taking full care of my food and other needs still. Who is wrong, she or I? Please give me an honest opinion, that would please God.

Four marriages are allowed in Islam, so why can I not go for a second one, can I not?

Answer 1

I feel that you should speak to your wife. I think your wife is being the bigger person by still doing her duties. You are in the wrong for not showing her the respect she is due.

Answer 2

I can not believe you are seriously asking this question, especially as a muslim man. Shame on you!! The Quran tells you to look down, and the hadith says if you see a beautiful woman and desire her, go home to your wife and fulfill your need there. Quarrels are a normal part of marriage. From what it sounds like, it seems like you never bothered to do your part. Did you show her kindness? Did you help clean up your own mess or get your own food as the Prophet (PBUH) did? If not, you're a very poor example of a muslim man and I am ashamed that one like you is calling himself a part of my religion. You disgust me, and your actions are completely unislamic. Your wife has the right to divorce you for all that you have done, and I would recommend that she does because you are no better than a pig.

Answer 3

If you believe in god, you should see god in everything, especially in all human: and she is nobody but your own wife. This body is gone ruin one day, why care for beauty, if she is a nice human being, you should respect her, love her and try to settle down the differences by talking to each other, As you said she is not discriminating, she in facts takes care of all your needs, so she is more good in God's eyes. Try to be a nice husband, life is very short, don't let it go. Nobody has seen tomorrow, it may be worst than today, who knows?

Answer 4

For the guy who said that Allah allowed polygamy to prevent these issues - Why didn't he allow women to have multiple husbands? Male dominance, that's the root of your belief...

For you - Better divorce your wife if you are not interested in her. your acts are inhumane. She stood by your side for 12 long years, she gave you all of herself, she loved you. And what dumb reason it is to fall into an unethical act like that - She is not beutiful. Well it's your thinking that's ugly. You could not realize the beauty of her love towars you, her compassion for you, her belief in you.

What she said was right. She tried to make you realize that she is still abiding with her duties - even after knowing that her husbands a cheat. And you - You didn't even care to apologise for your act. You broke her heart, her 12 years old faith. Yet you are selfish. You are looking out for religous loophole for your evil desires.

You may find some kind of guidance somewhere to meet your desires, but one thing is for sure. You have already booked your seat in hell...

Answer 5

Honestly I think that love gives you what you share and sometimes even more, but cast aside the feelings you have for another is not love at all.
It is for easier to start a whole new lover affair than to patch up a old relationship. If you fear for your life, and you are worry about your safely or the safely of others; then by all means get out. When you are happy and pleased with yourself then will God smile apone you and make the magic you feel. Thanks to Jesus for everything.

Answer 6

I am just shocked that you have a woman who takes care of all your needs, and your big comment is that "she's not even good looking." You sound very self-absorbed. You're upset with your wife---when she is being a good wife---when you're the one who's a peeping tom? I wish your wife the best...she definitely has her burdens with you. It sounds like you have emotionally abandoned her & I feel very sorry for her.

Answer 7

You are a very selfish and self-centered man. Start dedicating your extra time to your wife. And, not speaking to your wife for days is a poor solution to any problem. You should have never gotten married.

Answer 8

wot the hell pal, shes right isnt she...if you can create feelings for another women but not take intrest and resolve your problems at home, obviosly your wife is going to feel that way. it is your duty as a husband to fulfil her needs as well as it iz hers to fulfil urs, remeber its not the looks that will stay and the heart is what will remain the same. it seems your wife is fullfilling her duties but you are not, your are treating her with a lack of respect if you can eve think of creating feelings for the next door neighbor,get a grip of urself. read some kitabs and fulfil your role as a husband as it seems your wife knows how to fulfil her role. if you want to talk more, email me

Answer 9

YEA I THINK U R RIGHT, U SHOULD GET SEPERAED, BECAUSE U DONT DESERVE HER, SHE'S I'M SURE BEEN THROUGH HELL BECAUSE OF YOU, SO DONT PUT HER THROUGH ANY MORE, I KNOW RELIGIONS TEACH US TO WORK MARRIAGES OUT AND COMOPROMISE BUT THERE'S NOTHING THERE IN YOUR MARRIAGE EXCEPT FOR LIES, INFIDELITY, MUCH LIKE THE OTHER RESPONDERS HERE I ALSO CANT BELIEVE A MAN OF ISLAM WOULD EVEN HAVE THAT KIND OF MENTALITY, I KNOW EVERYONE IS NOT THE SAME, BUT IT REALLY MAKES ME QUESTION ABOUT THE MUSLIM GUY I DECIDED TO GET MARRIED TO...........PLEASE DONT GIVE ANY MORE DOUBTS !!!

Answer 10

Sister, i'm going to help you comprehend what i think of in direction of this, no longer a consultant religious Fatwa; a million) i do no longer think of that singing is ***** altogether, this is a facilitates you to apply in friendly Allah (as Sami Yousuf, .... do) , additionally you need to use it to disobey Him (like maximum of do, all human beings comprehend people who use singing as a potential to do ***** issues, as an occasion singing in a fashion which will excite sexual urge for nutrition is definitely *****). 2) i think of music isn't *****, yet there could be some musical gadgets that are forbidden (*****). 3) If listening to music and songs will reason you to forget approximately and barren area altogether praising Allah (zekr Allah) or help you be previous due in doing prayers, then it fairly is ***** to realize this. lower back, it fairly is what i think of relating to the concern no longer a consultant Fatwa.