Can I change my personality from shy to outgoing?

Question

I am, by nature, really shy. I'm not used to talking loud unless I'm really comfortable with select people. Sometimes when I am a bit more outspoken or louder around certain people they act like I'm weird. Is it possible to change from shy to outgoing? Sometimes I'm really unhappy because I'm so shy because a lot of my friends aren't, but when I try to be social I feel like I always mess up. I really wish I was more social and comfortable with myself but I'm really not. What should I do

Answer 1

baby girl, in each one of us there are many facet of mood. you can't brand yourself as being shy. there are times that you want to scream out loud and do things that makes no sense. right? the baby step is to do things out side of your circle of friends. things like, working out @ the gym, join an out door activities. something that will remove you from people who branded you. discover yourself, find out who you really are. outgoing might not be it. but once you have some idea of who you are, it would be easier than pretending who you're not.

Answer 2

Dear blue princess,
Yes, it is possible to move from "shy" to "outgoing" and it'll
take a lot of time and work. A shy person IS that way generally
because they are afraid of doing or saying the wrong things, and
that's understandable. Your path will not be an easy one, for many people who know you will not exactly appreciate your effort.
FIRST, please realize you ARE NOT wrong--it's just like in class.
You are there to learn, and that doesn't mean you're wrong. It
just shows that you don't know HOW, yet. All people learn by
trying, making mistakes, correcting mistakes, then using the
proper answers. Start slowly, at first--maybe just force yourself
to say, "Hi." to two strangers a day. (You don't have to carry on a
conversation, just say, "Hi".) Pretty soon, this will start feeling
more comfortable, and you'll be able to do even more. It WILL be
slow, but keep pushing yourself to do a little bit more each time,
and the quiet "wallflower" inside you will emerge as the "belle of
the ball" in short order. Remember that this change will take a
long time--just like a baby learning to walk. The baby steps, falls,
gets up, steps again, falls, and after a long time, is walking just
like everybody else. Here's some encouragement: you have
already taken your first baby step by writing this question. Keep
at it girl, you're gonna go a long way!! Good Luck.

Answer 3

What should you do, what a shrink might do if he/she worked with you. You have nothing too loose lots to gain. Try it by trial and error. Do the opposite of what you would do ie:quiet, shy, keeping quiet when not spoken to. Try it, with someone you have just met, or have met once before.. What you can do is coordinate a possible conversation by researching all the things you need to know because your going to bring it up.. You will have all the answers because you would have already done all the research. Continue to the same thing, that way you won't feel like a mess because you will know all the answers. You will gain your confidence because you will never be wrong, and you can justify your answer by quoting your sources, which will make you even more confident.. So like i said you have nothing to loose but plenty to gain.

Answer 4

Social anxiety may be causing these feelings.
http://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/ds...

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/cognitive_b... worked best for me. I suffered from social anxiety for over 15 years. I've tried meds, individual therapy, and group therapy and studied psychology for 10 years, as a profession, but also with the hope to cure myself.

Depending on your comfort level, you could go to a psychologist that practices CBT and specializes in anxiety disorders, seek a group therapy, or create one. Usually those that do attend the group therapy are a bit more high functioning because as you know, it can be difficult to speak in a group.

Another idea is to see if there are any local research studies being conducted that you could participate in.

The program that finally worked the best for me is this one: http://www.socialanxiety.us/findinghelp.... and I was lucky enough to have a structured behavioral group to go along with it. Sometimes the people that actually attend this program come back home and form groups.

Any questions, let me know ... I can't tell you how much this has improved my life!

Answer 5

I am known for being a really shy person. I find it is easiest to start out just listening to what people say/watching how they interact to determine when/how I should contribute to the conversation. Take a deep breath, smile, relax and have fun. It is good to read other people's moods but don't go about being fake at the same time, you'll end up kicking yourself later for it. Don't force yourself to dominate a conversation to make yourself more outgoing, just be calm and enjoy the interaction.

Answer 6

There is really no answer to that. You just need to become more yourself. I am not sure how old your our, but I was like that untill I had a child who if very outgoing.I had no choice but to become more outgoing. Also since I have become a little older I realize that life is what we make it. I have found that in time of stress for my friends and family, I can always find a way to make them laugh. Laughing is the key. I may seem goofy but if I can bring a smile to someones face and make them laugh then it helps me. Good Luck!

Answer 7

You don't have to be a loud talker to be outgoing. You just have to interact in a usually friendly way, carry on a conversation, show up at group related events, and don't be afraid to goof-up occasionally. It's all part of being human. And if you want to practice somewhat, try these within you group of closest friends first before expanding.

Answer 8

You really can't drastically change your nature, but you can work with it. I've always been very shy. Once I started working in customer service, I was forced to become friendlier and more out-going. Also, taking some classes on assertiveness might help.

Answer 9

What your encountering is the fact that you are unsure of yourself. This is a part of our teaching class tied in with bible teachings.
We can show you how to handle yourself, and become what you say you want to be. While at the same time gaining many new friends. Give us a try, it costs nothing but your time and just a bit of love.

Answer 10

I really dont know,I suppose you can take baby steps at it.I am the same exact way and people honestly think I am being rude.I have been shy since I could remember.And for us it takes alot to be outgoing socially.I am really not the attention seeker,but yea its 2007 we need change,lol