what do you think of my poems?

Question

poem #1

I cry out in despair
you come running,
arms open,
ready to protect me from the world.
if only you knew
that it's myself
I need protection from.

poem #2

Side to side the blade did slide.
Drip Drop goes the blood.
Pouring like tears
from the slits in my wrists
At first it spills out slow
Bead by bead the blood drains out
As I cut it come faster gushing out over my wrists
Like a red waterfall
Each drop stands for another failure
So many drops now
the blood runs free now down over my hands
And drops silently over the white carpet
The carpet represents my life
the blood my failures
now the carpet is truly like my life
Stained with failure that will never disappear

Poem #3

One cut
sharpened pain
to dull the hurt
that remains
from words still unspoken
one prick a gash, a slash
slice through the haze the daze,
the craze
of these choking moments
one drop blood will heal
as it congeals past cruelties
fade into oblivion

Poem #4

Deeper and deeper
the cuts do grow
Faster and faster
the blood does flow.
Oh what a *****,
that one will need a stitch.
How will I explain all of this?
Have I fallen too far into the abyss?
The blood is still dripping,
a puddle has formed.
I need to get out
or I'll surely be stormed.
I paint my chest crimson with a bloody red rag.
I beat myself blue with a belt and a nag.
My knuckles are bruised from punching the walls
but then, with a knife in my hand, someone calls.
But that murmur is only a voice in my head
telling me stop or soon you'll be dead.
And then a soft whimper,
a tear down my cheek
My face is all wet
from the water I leak.
Then soft, sweet serenity
I feel in my bones
A feeling of happiness,
then start the moans.
I could end it now
but the blood would stop bleeding
and then who would take over
when my joyfulness needs feeding?
So for now I just sit
and relish this feeling
with a smile on my face
and my eyes on the ceiling.
Tomorrow I might finish the deed

END OF POEM #4

but for the time being,
I'll just sit here and bleed.

Poem #5

I sit in dark,
I’m all alone
I feel the cold surround me.
Thoughts fill my mind,
unforgotten sorrows,
why wont they just let me be?
I see it glimmer, I see it shine
my old friend razor is in my hand.
If only I could control myself...
all common sense falls through like sand.
I feel it pierce, I feel it sting
and my eyes begin to tear.
Now I feel no pain,
I’m almost numb
I’ve got to get out of here.

Poem #6

I had a dream last night
It was comfortable,
but at the same time a terrible fright
I saw the blade coming closer to my skin
I had to release the feeling from within.
As the crimson poured
My soul soared
All my troubles slowly dripped away
with a few quick swipes from a blade
The dream felt so real as I awoke
Then I remembered it wasn't a dream
If only I could stop this vicious cycle
But I'm afraid to let go of my only release
I don't want to die
just be at peace
As another night falls
the dream comes to me
I fall to the razor again,
If only it where a dream

Poem #7

I feel nothing but hate and agony
and my only fear is me.
I want to be normal
but I can't make myself be happy.
I can't figure out what's wrong with me.
I've tried to escape what I've become,
A cutter, self abuser, a mutilator.
I still feel hate running through my veins
So hot it's burning
Cut my skin to free these emotions from me,
I cry helplessly.
I'm not what I want to be, all I am is me

Poem #8

Deeper and deeper
The cut does grow
Faster and faster
The blood does flow
As I sit in my room
Dead bolted with a lock
The blade in my hand
Shines up at me and mocks
Again and again
I feel the blade bite
As the blood streams out
I feel better and know I’ll be alright
I could end it all
With just one deed
But then who would
Fuel my dire need
My arm is all bloody
And covered with slashes
My arm’s as pale as a snowflake
Except for the scarlet which clashes
A stream, a lake, an ocean
Of blood so shiny and red
The blood is almost all gone
And soon I hope to be dead

Poem #9

A the age of 29 you
Are still my friend
To you I can come
And release my pain
With one swipe of your
Friendship my troubles can cease
As the cut becomes clean
And the blood splatters out
You look up at me and
Maliciously grin
Not often do I let you do your work
But when I do you really know
How to make me pay
You are my helper
You are my destroyer
The two of you
Are but one
To one of you I say thank you
To the other I cry out in desperation
Why are you bent on my destruction
You are my friend
So why don’t you help me
When you see me in pain

Poem #10

So alone
Craving life
Remembering past failures
Endangering myself
Afraid that I have a
Mental condition
Intellectually feeling
Numb true knowledge is
Gone I feel like an

Outsider wondering if
U give a damn
Time is running out

My life needs to end
You watch from a distance it

Pains me to
Admit it but
Indeed I do
Need you intervention


Read this poem but also look at first letter of each line they will make a short sentence!

Poem #11

I have a friend
He is keen and sharp
He always leaves his mark
And he always keeps his dark promises

His actions are always smooth
Always precise
He likes to help those who are in pain
Do you recognize his name it is razor

Another friend do I have
Swish swipe swish and swipe again
She tells me yet another dark secret
She draws me to her like a moth to light

She knows all and tells me all things
Her price is high her price is blood
One drop is not enough for her she wants it all
Her name is kitchen knife

My friends visit me when I’m sad
Most times late in the night
If I asked they’d stay with me all night long
If only to collect their payment in as much as to help me

Answer 1

wow, that's... that's creepy.

Answer 2

I Thought Your Poems Were So Good Because They Express Your Feelings And If You Competed In A Poem Jam Or Something You Would Get 1st Prize And Your Poem Will A Hit And Be Going Worldwide And It'll Be Published

Answer 3

You have repressed all of your pain, only to extract it on yourself.
This poetry is a cry for help.
You do not have good coping skills.
You know what I mean when I say "cutting".
You are not very strong in your faith, if you have it.
You're selfish (to think that your life is yours to take).

Buddy there's a lot of people in this world worse off than you. I know because there always is, always!
It's time you learn to control more things that are happening in your life.
Accept yourself for your failures. Nobody but Christ is innocent and he already shed his innocent blood for your failures.
Emptying your blood on the carpet will just make your family sick, and the firefighters and EMT's shake their heads.

If you need attention there people who would love to help. There's some drugs out there too that will make you feel much better about yourself. If you don't want to feel better quit bugging us with your gross, stupid, bloody cries.

Answer 4

amatuerish. Typical use of I and you. Your imagery and rhyming are a bit cheesy. Try NOT to rhyme at all and see what you come up with. Try metaphors. This is an example of something you might try. I didn't use I or you but personified despair etc.

Despair cries out
blue like December hues
arms of armor ready
to protect from naked worlds

Answer 5

Sounds like u need counseling because ur depressed and suicidal!!!

Answer 6

The same old emo crap I see on every other MySpace these days.

Sorry.

Answer 7

i think it is sweet it tells a lot about you.....i think poems are great