I'm a (DAV) Disable Vet. And I make $49,000 a yr. (tax free), I'm currently going through a divorce...I meet a person that said she wants a man that is going to get up and go to work everyday and not a man thats going to live off of disablity for the rest of his life. And she thinks that I sould be up doing something everyday and not set around the house all day. That I sould be volunteering or doing something beside nothing all day...And I told her that because I can do nothing all day and that I will do nothing sometimes if I feel like it...Should I give up my disablity to make anyone feel as if they had a superman?
2007-02-21 01:46:49 · 13 answers · asked by cra r 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tks for your input..I served my country and i'm very proud of it. And I would like to really thank 411 Fantasy football for his STUPID comment! I hope what happened to me will happen to you on day and the lets see what you have to say
2007-02-21 02:16:51 · update #1
Tks for your input..I served my country and i'm very proud of it. And I would like to really thank 411 Fantasy football for his STUPID comment! I hope what happened to me will happen to him on day and lets see what he have to say then
2007-02-21 02:19:20 · update #2
i admire vets because i was married to one but he had heart failer and passed away in 1996 im seprated now from this husband for abuse i always liked soldiers because my oldest brother was in the army in 60's in vietnam war he is a disabled vet too he had prostate cancer i think they got it all i hope for i lovemy brother very much he is only 2 year's older than me so to answer your question no you shouldn't ever give up nothing you can't help for a women
2007-02-24 10:41:24 · answer #1 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe her way of saying that she don't plan on staying. Don't be with someone that is already complaining about a big part of you, it wouldn't be good to lose the disability and a relationship that isn't going to work from the start. Don't mean to hurt your feeling here, but your going through a divorce, you don't need these problems already. $49,000 is a good wage, it's not about the money. In no way should you give up the disability, give her up, it is only going to be a battle from here on out. Sorry you going through this, you could start e-baying--that is something!!Still be around the house:) that would still not make her happy:|
One other thing.... Thank You for your service to our country!!!
2007-02-21 10:11:36 · answer #2 · answered by CJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, get a divorce. Secondly, why is she dating you if she knows you get disability but wants a man to get up and work? My husband is disabled, it is VERY hard to deal with, and you will get more depressed, the more you sit and do nothing. If you are doing productive things, then that is different. I think maybe she really cares about you and is trying to say to you get up and start living a little, without coming out and saying it and possibly hurting your feelings. Just because you are on disability, I am sure you have alot to offer the world. Thank you for the service you provided for our country.
2007-02-21 10:29:28 · answer #3 · answered by Ginger 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wasting away feeling sorry for yourself is NOT atractive. Being disable is not a death sentence and you should not just lay there. She is telling you this because she loves you and because it hurts to see the person that you love find no meaning to their lives other that to watch TV and eat chips.
There is more to life than that and you cannot expect people to accept that you should be a zombie and like it!
Yes is right, there is things that youc an do that would estimulate you and would not compromise your disability. You can start a charity, you could volunteer, you could participate in a DV event, help the salvation army etc... there is so much that you can do.
Good luck
2007-02-21 10:21:12 · answer #4 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its just not attractive to watch someone sit around and do nothing all day. I am proud that you did your part and served your country, and I am sorry you had to become disabled while doing so. You certainly deserve to relax each day, but it is also good for the soul and spirit to do something productive . Doesn't have to be anything big, just meaningful. It makes you a much more interesting person when you have goals and passions, a little hobbie, something. I Don't think she is asking too much. I wouldn't give up my disability, but I wouldn't give up on life eather.
2007-02-21 10:01:57 · answer #5 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Up front I'd say you have a controlling female on your hands. If she's like this in the beginning imagine what life will be like for you a couple years down the road. I know several men who are disabled, it is not by choice they are unable to work a regular job. I do know that they go on vacations, write/send notes on the net, have a few drinks at the local watering hole, go to auctions and/or fairs, love to shop and have immaculate yards. But they do it when they feel good, when the weather is nice, they may start out the door but turn around 5 minutes later and return home...being disabled is a full time occupation for them
2007-02-21 09:59:56 · answer #6 · answered by sassywv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think she's saying she needs superman, she wants a productive contributing member of society that she can be proud of. Even people with severe, very limiting disabilities, have abilities they can contribute to society. Can you volunteer at the local animal shelter, nursing home, or veterans hospital or library. There are so many opportunities to help others who are worse off than ourselves that we owe it to ourselves to help where/when we can. You deserve your disability pay and no one is asking you to give it up or back. What we are saying is there are ways for you to help others, do it. It's like families that live off welfare - sometimes they really deserve it and use it as a tool to better themselves. Other times they use it as an excuse and allow themselves to become a burden on society/friends/family. Good luck to you and God Bless you for your service to your country. Now be of service to your community too.
2007-02-21 10:10:55 · answer #7 · answered by tersey562 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I WAS married to a man that was disabled. True, he couldn't actually hold a job, but he COULD do something more productive in life than sitting around doing nothing. Mine became so bitter and negative that it cost us our marriage. Nobody wants a man that just sits around all day doing nothing, it's depressing for you and her! You don't have to be superman to offer quality of life, just the desire to. You don't have to give up your disability to have some activity in your life, ie. housework, recreational activities, etc. (Assuming that your disability doesn't completely confine you.)
2007-02-21 09:58:29 · answer #8 · answered by georgiarose_01 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should. You get that disability for a reason. Why is she with you if you are not the type of man she wants? Also, do you feel she is right for you, especially since you are still going through a divorce?
2007-02-21 09:54:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If someone cannot accept you for who you are then the relationship is doomed from the get-go. If you do give up your disability and find other means to support yourself you likely won't be happy, and again you end up with a dead end relationship. As long as you're content with your present situation why fix what isn't broke?
2007-02-21 09:55:16 · answer #10 · answered by He calls me cranky 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋