Ive been married for 3 years. My husband took off one night and went on a drug binge and I found on our credit card charges for prostitutes. I kicked him out went to a lawyer etc etc and he begged me for a second chance and I gave in. During the two months he was not at home I slept with an ex boyfriend one night. That same month I reconciled with my husband. Now I am pregnant and abortion is out of the question. It seems I conceived the night I reconciled with my husband but obvioulsy I cant be sure of that. It sucks I would have NEVER cheated on my husband had he not done this to begin with and now Im the bad guy. Im so depressed this is not where I saw myself at 35 years old!
2007-02-21 01:44:11 · 17 answers · asked by cassandra90210 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
WoW thats sucks dont it. Technically you didnt cheat on him you guyz werent together. i hope that everything turns out the way that you want it to. Email me if you need anything at cuteandflirty_2009
gOoD LuCk
kEyA
2007-02-21 01:55:36 · answer #1 · answered by Bubblez707 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am not going to 'earn any style points' for this one, but --
Okay let's review:
[1] you picked a loser and married a drug addict. He might have changed overnight but that's doubtful - someone smart enough to go through the bills and look for evidence pretty much knew exactly what this guy was like when she started out with him.
[2] But you can't learn from your own mistake and even though you know he's out on a drug binge and hiring whores you [a] let him back in your life and [b] spread your legs and screw him and let him get you pregnant? WTF?!??
[3] And you do this so close to the time you cheated on your husband - yes, that's what you did - that you aren't sure who is the father of your child?
[4] And you want to listen to the advice of a bunch of women who tell you to basically cover it up and never tell the husband? When you KNOW if these women's husbands got their mistresses pregnant, hid it from the wives, and then the wives found out, they would KILL these guys? Holy sh*t balls!
[5] And you suddenly cling to some moral high ground, saying 'abortion is out of the question'? Why is it? Because you are a woman of such high moral character? Hah!
How many wrong choices in a row can one person make? Are you *trying* to set a new record?
You had better confront him with the whole situation. Tell him just like he cheated on you with whores, you cheated on him with an ex. And now you are not sure who the father of your baby is. And that abortion is not just an option, it is the 99.99% most likely way to end this entire mess.
Think of all the lives you are going to screw up if you have this child - especially the child's. "My dad is a drug-using whore chaser, my mom is a clueless tramp, and my other dad is a loser." Wow. Some family tree.
You want the kid for selfish reasons. That much you should admit. Which are the worst reasons in the world to have a baby.Man what a train wreck your life is - and here you want to drag another innocent victim into it.
Re-think your decisions, and do it quickly.
2007-02-21 02:20:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you are upset about all this, you both messed up. I personally wouldn't have forgiven my husband for being in a drug binge and paying for prostitutes he would have been long gone out of my life. What if the baby is his what kind of example is he going to give this child? how do you know this isnt going to happen again?..
I also thought it was wrong that you went and slept with an ex just because you either wanted to get revenge or whatever you wanted to do.
I think you should be honest to your husband and tell him that theres a possiblitiy that this baby is not his. If you want to get out of doubt quick and can afford it then there are three different testing methods that you can perfome while the baby is still developing in the womb.
One test, called chorionic villus sampling, is conducted only between weeks 10 to 12 of pregnancy. This test involves retrieving a small sample of tissue from the placenta.
Another test, called amniocentesis, is performed between weeks 15 and 18 of pregnancy. This test involves passing a needle through a mother’s abdomen into the womb in order to withdraw a small sample of amniotic fluid. The collected samples are then forwarded to a laboratory for examination.
Another option is wait till the baby is born to do a DNA sampling.
Life aint always going to be the way we see it, we make mistakes and then we learn from them. Hopefully you make the right decisions for your baby.
Good Luck!
2007-02-21 02:18:23 · answer #3 · answered by Sugar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should speak to the doctor or nurse and see what they think, or you'll just have to wait until the baby is born and do tests. Dont feel too bad to your husband though as he made his bed! If he had'nt of cheated on you in the first place, neither of you would not be in this situation but you could have been careful when you had sex with you ex boyfriend! Does your husband know that you slept with your ex? Does he know theres a chance the baby is'nt his? I think if you want this marriage to work then you need to start it by being honest with your husband as the moment you start lying you will only make it easy for him to do the same. Plus you dont want to trick someone into believing they are a father if theres a chance their not. The longer you leave it the harder it will get. Do the right thing!
2007-02-21 01:53:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have 2 options. If it were me I'd be up front and tell him I was pregnant and I think it happened the night we reconciled. If he asks tell him the truth about an ex boyfriend that took place while separated, the way I see it he was the one that cheated in the beginning. The second option would be to just let it go, once the baby is born you may be able to tell by looks, if the baby looks neither like you nor your husband, again I would be honest and tell him the truth about the ex boyfriend.
2007-02-21 01:50:59 · answer #5 · answered by sassywv 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Who wants to take care your baby? Is it either of the or both of them?
Let the one or ones who want to take care your baby be the father or fathers.
If you want to be sure on who's the father, you can compare the blood type of the baby with the blood types of the men who have intercourse with you.
Comparing D.N.A. is also possible, but it's a more complex task.
Next time if you want no baby with the man you have intercourse with, then do intercourse during your infertile time.
And if you really want to play it safe in figuring out who is the father, after you have an intercourse with a man, you should wait for three of your menstrual periods until you can sleep with a different man.
2007-02-21 02:17:33 · answer #6 · answered by E A C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can I ask you to reconsider the abortion thing? Or even better, give the child up for adoption.
Your husband goes on a drug/prostitute binge, and you forgive him. It's clear you'd both be unfit parents.
2007-02-21 01:49:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I hope the baby is not your husband's because if he has been on drugs and with prostitutes, chances are that he got some disease and transmitted it to you and the baby. I would kick him out and move on. You deserve more!
2007-02-21 01:54:59 · answer #8 · answered by eli_davila2002 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is understandable what confusion and pain you must be feeling. If you really want to know who the father is, why don't you set something up with your ex to have him tested first. that way if it shows that he is not the father then you don't really have to say anything to your husband unless you just want to let him now about it.
2007-02-21 01:52:28 · answer #9 · answered by Queen of the Nile 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like a job for Maury
2007-02-21 02:12:41 · answer #10 · answered by GrnEyedBandita 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋