Teach Me...
Cigarettes and wine stains are all thats left from last night,
Wish I hadnt said those things,
But I had to,
It felt right,
Couldnt bare to see you if we'd never had that fight.
It turns out I can cope just fine,
Lifes less blurry without the wine,
And days are far less stressful,
Not worrying if youre mine.
So now my heart is for the taking,
I dont deny it is still aching,
But its someone new that I want,
Who can teach me love doesnt always end in cigarette burns
and arguments.
2007-02-21 01:32:27 · 23 answers · asked by Lindsay T 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
that is BLOODY brilliant!
i LOVE it, i would definitly give it a rating of 10/10 and 5 stars*****
2007-02-21 01:37:15 · answer #1 · answered by livinia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
10/10
2007-02-21 09:35:49 · answer #2 · answered by x- Shirine -x 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a great poem. You have captured the feelings of the break up, the aftermath, and the hope that something (someone) better looms on the horizon. The phrasing doesn’t distract, and the rhyme scheme is very fresh.
I would consider submitting this to magazines if I were you.
2007-02-21 09:39:11 · answer #3 · answered by Maddog Salamander 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG THAT WAS REALLY NICE SAD... BUT NICE ^_^ OH JUST UNTIL THE END WHERE U STOPPED THE RHYMING. RIGHT HERE.... But its someone new that I want,
Who can teach me love doesnt always end in cigarette burns
and arguments
WHY DONT U CHANGE IT TO ITS SOMEONE NEW I WANT TO GET SO IT WILL RHYME WHICH ARGUEMENTS IM A BIT OF A WRITER TOO GOOD JOB!!
2007-02-21 09:38:10 · answer #4 · answered by SEXY CRML 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well done; from the heart. Very clever poem. I like it.
Like they say to every end is a new beginning! â¥
And no not every love ends in cigarette burns and arguements,
some don't ever end...Just keep that in mind â¥
Good luck in your new search :)
2007-02-21 09:38:59 · answer #5 · answered by "ωнαтєνѕ!" 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah that's really good! love it. I found that everything went together well except the 'but it's someone new that I want'. Maybe you could take that bit out, it would all still make sense if you did.
2007-02-21 09:37:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A little cliche and simplistic but overall it's a good poem. Brief, concise and a straight-forward story/message. I'm sure many people can relate to it.
2007-02-21 09:37:52 · answer #7 · answered by miranda_aterra 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good but not great 9/10
2007-02-21 09:36:50 · answer #8 · answered by sk8tergirl2795 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very good, great lyrics for a blues song more than a poem but yeah good
2007-02-21 09:37:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I write poems also. I think yours is very deep and so very true. Good luck to you
2007-02-21 09:36:51 · answer #10 · answered by allforit420 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋