If someone has been with someone a long time (eg, 9 years, no kids), but not experienced anyone else before that relationship and perhaps starting to get 'itchy', should they explore while they are still young or stick with the long term relationship? Do all relationships basically end up the same?
2007-02-21 01:29:41 · 13 answers · asked by Sultana Of Swing 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Whatever you do don't go burning any bridges is my advice.
I think its a great thing to have experience, but life doesn't always work out exactly how you planned it. If you've found the person you want to be with great - the only problem is it was a bit too early. Think very carefully about whether you want to risk losing this person - single life seems fun but is it better????
I agree with the suggestion that you need to get some excitement in your life, the two of you together and also do some things for yourself. You may find you're just bored in general.
One word of caution is that you should really act on what you decide rather than let things just continue as they are, this could ruin your relationship. So break up or actively spice things up.
You don't want to get to the point that you are sooo itchy that you do something you regret or that you hurt the other person. My first love and I were together for 7 years, but in hindsight we were both a little itchy for the same reason - however I think he was much more so. Anyway, he eneded up kissing some girl at a pub when he was drunk, I ended it right then and there and I've moved on straight away and never looked back, I don't think he expected that and was left knowing that he'd never have a chance with me again even if the grass was not greener in the end. He burned all his bridges with me (all is not bad though as I'm much happier now!).
Good luck, its such a hard decision. Have some faith in yourself, and whatever you decide get yourself pumped up and make your life more exciting - try new things see more friends etc.
2007-02-21 02:17:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a tricky one that's for sure and there is no right or wrong answer unfortunately. Only you know your relationship and how you feel. some would argue you should go and experience things whilst you're young. However, you will have to sacrifice your relationship in order to do this and you might not find anyone who quite compares - 9 years is a long time. You could end up sleeping with / dating lots of different men but trust me, finding a decent one is hard. Some might say you should stay with your partner and commit. But you could always end up a few years down the line with children and regretting not getting out whilst you had the chance. My advice is this though, if you're feeling itchy, this guy isn't the one for you.
2007-02-21 02:10:07 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that's a tough one.
I would talk things over with the other person in the relationship and explain that I am getting 'itchy' - perhaps they feel the same way too. If that is the case, we could both try to make one more go at it and really invest a lot of time and effort in getting the spark back into the relationship.
If that fails, then I think I agree with the previous Answerer that the marriage should probably end before kids are involved.
2007-02-21 01:36:24 · answer #3 · answered by Jane M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one.
First of all, are you married??If you are then, why are you trying to leave? If you got married young it's because you were in love. I think you should respect the sanctity of marriage and if you're unhappy share that with your spouse and work at it. No one ever said marriage was all fun n' games. Someday it's easy to love your spouse, other days you have to REALLY work at loving that person. And it's during those "difficult" days, where you grow the most not only on a personal level but also as a couple. I really think you should re-consider.
That being said, if you are NOT married, then, I think you should still try to work things out, but if you can't then get out before you bring children into the world and have them grow up in a broken home.
Don't make rash decisions. Can you see yourself "getting old" with this person? Do you share the same goals in life? This is not an overnight decision. THINK. Whatever your decision, it will affect the course of the rest of your life!
2007-02-21 01:53:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well u kinda screwed up waiting so long. I ha dmy firs tlove and the relationship was perfect, mos tpopular couple in college. But i knew I had to experience life a lot more, and I also knew I would never find anyone like her. So it was hard, but I knew that although she was the one I still needed to experienc elife a lot more.
it's up to u, let go oprob the one that was for u, lower your chances of meeting somoen like him and havin the ballzzz to do it, but u'll be able to experience more of life.
I still think u kinda fuke dup pby waiting 9 yrs
But yeah, all relationships end the same, there is no true love. In the end everyone gets tired of everyone
2007-02-21 01:44:47 · answer #5 · answered by corporal.hicks 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long term relationship means commitment. You may just be getting bored, so try rejuventing the relationship, except you want to risk hurting your partner and probably ruining your relationship be exploring other avenues.
I have known my husband for 13 years and being married for 4 years. We have to work hard to keep the relationship interesting and satisfying. But I also know people that the long term didnt work for them, so it is your decision if you still love this person and wants to spend your life with them.
2007-02-21 01:44:16 · answer #6 · answered by Delta O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely. This is almost exactly what ended my first marriage.
Experience in ALL things is valuable. If you're starting to get 'itchy', then you are telling yourself something.
If you're meant to be with that person, you'll get back with them. But older and wiser.
2007-02-21 01:37:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends what you want from life - what exactly do you think you are missing?
If you are happy with your partner then don't blow it just to find out you are going to be no happier with someone else.
The grass isn't always greener but don't stay if you are miserable - only you can decide.!
2007-02-21 01:39:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Experience now. If you are feeling any doubt at all, your curiosity will only continue to grow, and the longer you wait the more you will start to resent yourself and your current partner. Go, frolic.
2007-02-21 01:37:53 · answer #9 · answered by me! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
go experience life then when your ready years down the road then get married. Good luck
2007-02-21 01:37:33 · answer #10 · answered by celticdragon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋