How could my friends do this???

Question

i have had the same two best friends since i was in the 6th grade now we're seniors and we have got into this big fight...it hurts so bad they are ignoring me and leaving me out of everything....and the worse part is that i dont even know why their mad at me....so heres me situation one of my bf's lets call her michelle is mad at me for some reason, and she told my other bf jane and now jane is mad at me too but it has nothing to do with her shouldnt she be trying to help us with our fight rather than join sides and just ignore me too for something she has absoultly nothing to do with??? iv tried to confront them both already very politely asking them to talk but michelle just laughs and turns her back and jane just stands there like an idiot ..... look i love these girls and dont know what to do without them can someone help what should i do

i guess im sort of scared ya know i havent had to make friends since i was in the 6th grade like i guess i really really want to work this out because these girls are all iv ever known there like sisters to me... the idea of having to make new friends scares me i guess... idk yalls answers are helping me consider new options please keep at it....

Answer 1

Unfortunately you already have done everything that you possibly could do in this situation. Your two friends have chosen to handle the situation in a very immature manner.
I hope that you will come to realize that this is not about you.
Obviously they are going to keep it that way, because they refuse to share with you what they percieve is your crime.
This is more about POWER. I suspect that it is Michelle that is the one that is the instigator in this.
Your friend Michelle is playing the puppet master, & both you & Jane are dancing to her commands.

Here is the thing that you need to know in this situation. Michelle has no power over you UNLESS YOU GIVE IT TO HER.
By running around trying to make ammends with your friends & sort out what thing that it is that you did wrong, you are giving your power over to Michelle, & Jane is a party to it whether or not she actually understands what is going on.

The only thing that you can do now is to TAKE YOUR POWER BACK. Nobody controls you unless you let them, so just stop confronting them, stop trying to make ammends when you don't even know what you did wrong, & stop feeling sad about this situation because you aren't the author of it.

BTW, if you later find out that you actually did do something wrong to one or both of them just remember this, ALL OF THE ABOVE STILL APPLIES.
Why? Because Michelle & Jane played this "if you don't know what you did wrong, I'm certainly not telling you" game.
That accomplishes nothing except to abuse you, punish you, & treat you unfairly. These girls made a decision one day to stop being your friends. I know that is sad, but the only healthy thing you can do is to forget about them, at least for now.

Maybe you can all be friends again one day once Michelle grows up, & Jane gets a backbone.

Meanwhile look at this as an oppourtunity to make new friends.

Cheers! :-)

Answer 2

I can identify with having friends for a long time. I am now in my late 30s and I still talk with friends that I had met in Pre-K Sunday School classes.

I think that this thing will blow over unless these girls were not your friends to start. People get burrs up their butts and get wierd every once in a while. Especially girls. I think that Jane is getting sucked into whatever Michelle has made up. Just watch Michelle. Did you meet a new boyfriend? Or, is there a guy that you like and your friends like too? It might turn out that there is a boy that they like that has indicated interest in you to them. This could have made the two girls mad or should I say jealous.

I think that it is time for you to make some other friends. I do not know what size your school is but that would be my suggestion. It is funny how your friends might drop whatever is bothering them if you find other people to have as friends. Do you have any brothers or sisters? Maybe it is time to rekindle your friendships with them. They might be pesty now but they will be your only friends when you get older. I have only 1 friend that has been screwed by her sister. The rest of my friends have the same feelings as I do.

Besides, when you go to college, you will make more friends. Some of my best friends I met while in college.

Hang in there. I know it is tough. And my big motto is...PEOPLE SUCK! And, as I walk through life, I find that motto coming back to me over and over again.

Answer 3

as you know girls like to stick together. what i believe is that Jane is stuck in the middle. if she sides with you she loses Michelle and if she side with Michelle she loses you. i think you should sit both ladies down talk about the situation and try to remember why you all are friends in the first place.if that doesn't work then maybe your friendship isn't strong enough and you need friends who love you for the person inside eg. you heart and mind. hope you work though this and things turn out for the better.

Answer 4

believe it or not I've been in this situation as well it makes you go crazy cause the whole time you are trying to find out what you did, then you think about it,and you really had nothing to do with why they are mad. However if they are gonna treat you like this,even though it may be hard, let them go, you deserve friends who will be open with you not ones who believe what someone else says, that makes it not fair, cause then you aren't given a chance to say whats on your mind.

I sry hope it all works out..

Answer 5

Hey hun

Are you POSITIVE you didn't do anything to offend them? I was once in a similar situation. This girl I was great friends with totally started to hate me from one day to the next, and when I asked her about it, she would laugh and walk away. Well, come to find out someone,(I never found out who) started a rumor about me and my "friend" believed it, without ever so much as confronting me about it. Look, I know it hurts but I think at this point you should bow out gracefully. It's time to let things go and move on. Besides, it sounds to me like your "friends" have changed, for the worse.They're NOT the same girls you knew 6 yrs ago. People change honey.Some for better,others for worse, it's what divides the world actually. I know it hurts, but it may be time for you to go and find new friends who value friendship as much as you do! Hope I helped, keep us posted!,

Answer 6

All I can say is that if they won't tell you why they are mad at you and you truly didn't do anything to make them mad, then they weren't your friend to begin with.
Back track and try and figure out yourself what you may have said or done to make "michelle" so angry. If you can't then just move on.

Answer 7

You have tried to confront them & one laughed & the other one played dumb? OK... take the high road with one last attempt to say, "look, I can't read your minds, so when you decide to tell me why you are so upset & resolve this let me know." And DROP IT! If they are truly your friends this will determine what is really going on... Sadly, you may never know what the deal is...

Answer 8

Just apologize to Michelle.
Doesn't matter if you're right or not. Doesn't matter if she deserves one or not.

It doesn't hurt you at all to apologize, so you have nothing to lose. It might help out your relationship so you have everything to gain.

Answer 9

Soon you will be out of high school......
It sucks right now.....But when you look back on it, you will be amazed at it.

What do you care.....You're the cool one anyways, and they are just jealous.

Answer 10

sit down and talk. it's always the best solution. nothing works better than that!