Do you agree that everyone is capable of cheating?

Question

I mean do you think circumstances and/or locations (such as being far away from friends or family...including wife...for work for a LONG period of time) plays a roll in someone screwing up and cheating...making bad choices. I thought my hubby would NEVER cheat and he always said he never would and nevr condoned it by anyone....but he had to work in a different state for 9 months and he cheated. He regrets it to no end, and I always said I would NEVER stay with a cheater...but I did...and we are doing great. My question is people on here always say they would never cheat or that they KNOW their spouse ould never cheat...but how do you really know. Do you believe that everyone given certain circumstances would cheat if theythought they wouldnt be found out? Just curious. I blamed myself as well as him, but after counseling and talking with my hubby, he says it had nothing to do with me, that he was stupid and selfish and was not thinking and cannot give me a good answer as to why.

Answer 1

Unfortuantly I do agree. I think we are all capable of making stupid, selfish choices. Its great that the two of you have worked this out. I have been in a very similar situation and it takes strength so hang in there. Nobody is perfect, and everyone deserves a second chance. I DO NOT believe "once a cheater always a cheater" No one here knows the circumstances of your marriage prior. Sometimes it takes a crisis to make people realize what they have had all along. Thats how it worked with my husband. If God sent his son to die for our sins, and he can forgive us...who are we not to at least try to do the same. Everyone that says they would kick them out...well...let me say...you DONT know what you would do. IT IS NOT SO BLACK AND WHITE!!! Its hard not to give forgivness and compassion to someone you share your lif with. Forgiveness is a decision, not a feeling and it takes a strong person to decide to forgive. Good for you, you will be a much better person for it. As to WHY? I dont think any answer they could give us would be good enough, and honestly they may not know why. Just like he said...stupid and selfish. Now if he does it again...different story. Good luck to you both!! And the answer to your question...YES...I think all people are capable of cheating whether they want to admit it or not. If they say they are not they are lying to themself and think that they are perfect. Well, nobodys perfect sorry to say.

Answer 2

Well of course everyone is capable of cheating. There's nothing that can stop u from doing so. The question is whether people have enough respect for there spouses not to cheat. The fact of the matter is that it's a conscious choice. Regardless of the circumstances or the other excuses that the cheater gives, he/she knew exactly what they were doing and thought that it was the right thing to do at the time. They weren't thinking of their spouse they only wanted to satisfy their desires. Once they finish they realize how unacceptable what they did was in society's views but I'm sure most people who kill their spouses in the heat of moment feel worried afterwards as well. By no means was his cheating your fault. People who respect their wives (or husbands) but really want to be with someone else would have the decency to break up instead of going behind their backs. If you r the type of person who really supports the whole "working it out" thing then maybe u can have a good relationship again with your husband. However u have to question whether it's is really a great relationship because the two of u enjoy being with each other or whether it is just a facade. In this situation I would assume that your husband feels like he needs to be on guard constantly to make sure that he doesn't give u a reason to leave. It's not that he respects u enough not to do those things, it's just that he has done it once before and now has to cover his behind. He has to make sure that everything is great because now he has something to prove. U can go along with it all that u want if you just want to have what seems to be a positive relationship but u need to know what is behind it: Committment/respect or Redemption/obligation. If u cheated on him right now do u think that he would be so understanding?

Answer 3

I do think everyone is capable of cheating but there is a thing called self-control! When you know that circumstances will be hard just think how hard it is on the other person as well. Now days commitment means nothing to people. They cop out and say They were being selfish or didn't mean it. Yes they meant it because they did it and they have a conscious. They always have a right to say no way! As far I cheating and thinking you will never get caught, I'm sure there are plenty of people who would do it but then They would have to live with the guilt for the rest of their lives. ( Oh wait, they may not have guilt if they cheated in the first place)!

Answer 4

Circumstances and location do not play a part in cheating, the only thing that plays a part in infidelity is the cheaters own character due to insecurity on there part or they are just plain morons who don't care about the consequences of their actions.

Honestly there is no good answer to why someone cheats at least he had the good sense not to blame you and only himself, that says something about him.

Now as long as he is willing to have every aspect of his life an open book with you, not turn around and keep telling you that you should get over it when and if you get suspicous for any reason.
Hope he has the sense to give you your own timeline for forgiveness & yes all humans are capable of cheating but not everyone will because they have the common sense to know what the impact would be on others.

Answer 5

I do think that everyone is capable of cheating. I used to travel allot at my last job and many time I had the opportunity to cheat on my wife. Although I never did it is an easy thing to do. I agree that he more you are away the better the chances only because you are put in that situation. I hope that your husband has learned from this and knows that he is lucky that you took him back. He is a lucky guy and you are a very forgiving person. best of luck to the both of you.

Answer 6

Of course we're all capable of cheating. BUT it takes strength, will power, love, and LOYALTY not too. I'm sure a lot more folk would cheat if they think they can get a way with it but I for one has NEVER cheated on anyone and I have had ample opportunities PLENTY of times and I KNOW I would have gotten away with it. Circumstances didnt make your hubby cheat...stupidity did. If you guys are doing fine...thats great, but remember opportunities and circumstances will ALWAYS present themselves.

Answer 7

I know that under no circumstances would I cheat..

I don't believe my husband would either and after 31 years I know him pretty well.....however the only person's actions I can control are my own.

Men and women have left their family for much longer times than 9 months and they've stayed faithful so your husband is right this is about him.

What would he do if you were very sick for a year?

Answer 8

Oh Puleez!

Everybody has parts, but for us grown-ups... you either value integrity or you don't. And if you value integrity, you won't cheat. It's that simple.

Don't make excuses for folks who lack integrity. They are what they are. I'm reading a lot of excuses from folks on here, and that belies character issues, IMHO. You can be in a relationship and unhappy, and you can decide to leave the relationship because you don't see a future in that relationship, but cheating is just a weakness and a character flaw. You have to decide if you value your own integrity and stop copping out and blaming others for what you do. Plain and simple.

Answer 9

If you would call the right situation, a situation where someone has drugged me and then had sex with me without my consent, then yeah, it's possible. For me, it just would not happen other than if I got taken advantage of by a predator who put me in that situation. I don't let other people come between me and my partner. I have to much respect for our relationship to do something like that. Even with alcohol, you still have self control. It would only be in a situation where that self control and consent is taken away from me that it could happen, in which case I would be visiting the police as soon as possible with my boyfriend's support!

Answer 10

Everyone has that capability in them to cheat. No one can say they would never cheat or their spouse would never cheat. It's all about not putting yourself in that position with that kind of temptation. And people cheat for different reasons.