My ex-husband moved due to job reasons. I live in another state and came back to see how my daughter was doing. I am living in my ex-husband's house for now.
I have given my daughter a choice - she can come back and live with me or stay here and her grandmother will take care of her.
She said that she will let me know today what she wants to do. She is 14 years old.
I can not stay in this state because they (my ex and his mother) will not let me live independently and in peace.
If I go back without my child, should I worry about what people will think?
Also, while I am here my ex-husband keeps asking me to take care of his relocation matters and sell items from the house. I don't want to get involved in this and have told him that.
2007-02-21 00:52:28 · 11 answers · asked by Stareyes 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I see alot of judgemental people answering like you should be ashamed of yourself.
You do what is right for you, and what is in the best interest of the child.
The only concern I have is that she is 14.
I have raised 2 children, and age 14 is hell, believe me.
It's kind of like a fork in the road at that age, one good path and one bad.
A mother's guidence is really needed at that point in life.
So if your daughter decides to stay with her grandmother, is it because she feels she will be able to get away with more? manipulate her easier?
Will she get in more trouble with you or with grandma?
Will grandma be able to control her? disipline her? keep up on her activities, and who she is hanging out with?
I wasn't put on this earth to sit in judgement of anyone, so what people think is irrelevant, including some of the answers you got on here.
You do what is right for you and you child, who cares what anyone else thinks.
Maybe grandma will be able to take care of her better than you can, but only you know that, not anyone else.
You are right not to get involved with his personal affairs, let him find someone else to take care of that stuff, you are not his wife.
2007-02-21 01:43:39 · answer #1 · answered by Mr R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of worrying about what others will think if you leave your daughter, concentrate on what's right for her!
Is it good if you leave her with your husband and grandmom? They seem the controlling kinds. Can she handle it? Will it hamper her growth and personality?
My advice would be to reach out to her right now...she may think she's an adult just because she's 14 but you should know better!
As for your ex asking you to do stuff for him - if the money from the sale goes to you as well then no harm, but if you're only doing him favors then there's no moral oblign for you to help him out. Concentrate on your daughter - mend bridges, make her feel more secure, let her trust you.
Best of luck for starting a new chapter of your life (hopefully with your daughter)!
2007-02-21 01:31:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You better check with the courts about where the daughter stays. I went through that scenario with my daughter's father, she does not have a choice of where she wants to live. Who got custody of her during the divorce? And as a mother myself, I would have never given my daughter that choice or option. Check with the judge and see what your state laws are. And let your ex deal with his own relocation matters, what are you, his personal secretary?
2007-02-21 00:57:42 · answer #3 · answered by Jewel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get the hell out of the ex's house! Who cares what people who don't know whats going on think? Tell the ex to see his own sh*t!
2007-02-21 01:10:39 · answer #4 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
take your daughter with you. You should let any body think bad about youre decisions. Trust me i know what you are going through. I am the same age as your daughter. Well i live with my aunt and my grandma. So i know what what your daughter going through kinda. My mom try to coment scudice so that is why i live with my aunt.
2007-02-21 00:59:08 · answer #5 · answered by greenday girl/ rock angel 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are number 1 in your life (ok number 2 to your kid). So you should do (and think) for your self. You know what is the right choice.
2007-02-21 00:56:07 · answer #6 · answered by chickyboo222 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She's 14, why on earth would you give her a choice, you are her mother, be a mother. Time to grow up sweetie.
2007-02-21 01:19:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
ur kid has the right to choose b2in u and her dad and for starters why did u abandon ur child thats mistake #1 and b aware that ur kid might choose daddy and grandma,, either ways u shouldnt worry about what people think one has his own life and depends on him what choices he makes in life
2007-02-21 01:05:42 · answer #8 · answered by broderm2k 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
honest you cant stop people from thinking are talking, but honest no, you do what you think is best,an dont worried about them,,, honest if they take care of their own life they not have time to think of what you doing,
2007-02-21 00:58:55 · answer #9 · answered by ghostwalker077 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont give her the choice. Take her with you. You will regret it later on in life.
2007-02-21 00:57:11 · answer #10 · answered by momof467309 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋