What age were you when you conceived your first child?

Question

I'm reaching 29 and am really ready for a child, however my sister has just asked me to be bridesmaid at her wedding (which of course would be an absolute honour) in November.

Now, I would love a baby right now....I would also love to be bridesmaid...and ideally (if I'm honest) then next year would be an ideal time to have a baby.

My concern of course is that if I decide to stop trying for a baby now, then if I start trying again in say September it might not happen straight away. I suppose I'm getting concerned thinking that it might be a whole year from then until I do actually conceive.

Your advice on what you would do would be gratefully received....and also, if you could let me know what age you were when you had your first baby (I suppose I'm feeling as though the clock is ticking and as I want a big family I'm getting impatient.....).

Of course, there is also the chance that if I continue to try I may not even fall pregnant until gone September anyway.....confused!

Answer 1

If you feel ready to have a baby and want to have one now, your sister's wedding plans are no reason to wait. If your plan is to have a baby.....don't allow other people's plans to put YOUR plans on hold.

It's possible that you'll get pregnant immediately and walk down the aisle with quite the belly. As another person said, you wouldn't be the first! Truly, many, many a bridesmaid has walked down the aisle pregnant. There is nothing even remotely "wrong" with it. Maybe you'll wish you were a little less....big...for the wedding pictures, who knows. On the other hand, maybe you will absolutely relish those pictures of you, memorializing two such momentous and happy occasions in your family.

It's also possible that you won't get pregnant for a while. There is just no way to predict. And if you do want to get pregnant now, and find that it takes you months to conceive, you will 1) be happy to have started now and 2) in the event you decide to wait until after the wedding, you will be UNhappy that you waited.

Of course, you have to decide what's right for you. That said, were I in your shoes, I would not put my baby plans on hold because of a wedding. There will always be something -- a wedding, vacation plans, something -- that can be a reason/excuse for postponing pregnancy, because being pregnant may not seem perfectly convenient. I know so, so many women who had to try for a long time before they were finally successful (with conception/childbirth) -- may your worst problem be that you have to have special tailoring on your bridesmaid dress so that it can accomodate your pregnant belly!!

As for me, I had my children when I was 38. I got pregnant for the first time many years before that, and miscarried. We started trying in earnest when I was about 35, and I had a few more miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy before I finally, blessedly, became a mom. (So, yeah, I definitely have some strong feelings about this topic!)

Best of luck to you, whatever you decide.

Answer 2

I was a really young Mum - I got married at 17 and had my babies at age 18, 20, 24 and 26. We're still very happily married ( sorry, I had to put that in as so many people are judgemental about the fact that we were so young! )

I don't think age is the major deciding factor in most people's cases, unless they are perhaps reaching their forties and worrying about time running out. You're ready to have a baby when you're ready and nobody else's opinion really matters.

To be honest, if you're happily considering putting off trying to get pregnant so you can be a slim bridesmaid, then I'm guessing you're not feeling all that desperate to have a baby right now. After all, it wouldn't really matter all that much if you were a pregnant bridesmaid would it? A wedding is just one day ( especially someone else's wedding! ), but starting a family is for the rest of your life. It's best to start trying for a baby when you feel that that would be the absolute best, most important thing in the world for you - only you and your husband / partner can decide that. All the very best of luck.

Answer 3

I conceived in August of 2006 with my first, I am 29. My little girl is due May 28th and my birthday is May 17th, so I will most likely be 30 when the baby is born.
My husband and I started trying in July and I got pregnant in August. If being a bridesmaid is that important to you, start trying in August or so. That way you may be pregnant at the time of the wedding but not showing. I am 26 weeks and 2 days now and I just started showing but I can still hide it. Enjoy the summer and start in the fall. Otherwise if you start now, you will be pregnant and big by the time the wedding comes if you get pregnant fast. Good luck to you!

Answer 4

Why not just put off trying for about 2 months so your not due at the same time your sister is having the wedding. Whatever bridesmaid dresses she chooses should be available in larger sizes which you could have altered to fit if you are pregnant during the wedding. If it isn't extremly important to your sister that everyone has the exact same dress then you could always get a similar dress in the same color as the rest of the bridesmaids but yours would be maternity. Davids Bridal sells maternity bridesmaid dresses and has alot of the dresses available in the same colors and they come in larger sizes so either option would be available there.

Answer 5

I was 27 with my first and nearly 29 with this pregnancy. I say don't wait. Just tell your sister you'd LOVE to but you are trying to have a baby. Let her know you may be pregnant then and you may not. But, that way she can have other options available. I've seen many a bridesmaid in maternity gowns. Find out her colors and dress styles and you'll be able to find something by the time the wedding comes.

I never started showing until 20 weeks. You could always wait a little later to have your dress altered. Seamstresses are great they can really work majic if you have to have some extra belly space. :))

Answer 6

1st 27 gave birth 1 month before I was 28. Currently 30 due to give birth day before my 31st.

May I just say if your ready for a baby don't put it off for the sake of 1 day, yes you may want to get drunk at your sisters Wedding or have fun at the Hen night - but it's only 1 day after all are you not allowed to be a bridesmaid if your pregnant, afraid you'll spoil the photo's as the end of the day the baby is going to be part of your niece or nephews life they too can be on the photo's. If your ready go for it don't put it off, you sound like you've been trying already:o)

Answer 7

Just keep trying. Trust me, you don't want to put your life on hold. You can be a pregnant bridesmaid. They make great maternity dresses these days to match everyone else's. Good luck to you!

By the way, 1st baby-19, 2nd-23, 3rd-24. Now, at 31 I've been trying for a 4th for over 2 years. We've had 4 losses. Just try and try-life will fall into place around you.

Answer 8

I had my first child at 23. She will be one year on the 28th of this month.

My older sister is 30 but she had her first child at 29. She tried for 5 years before she finally became pregnant.

Its not to late though to start a family (or even if you waited another year), more and more women are waiting to have children when their older anymore. Its really what you want to do. If you really want to start having children now, then go for it. Would if matter if you were pregnant as a bridesmaid?

Good luck.

Answer 9

I was 23 when I conceived after over a year and a half of trying. If you want a baby start trying now. Most couples take 8 months to a year to conceive.

Be a bridesmaid too. When you get fitted for your dress just order extra fabric right away incase you need it.

Answer 10

I was 22 when I conceived my first child. But my sister in law was 26 and she was a pregnant bridesmaid. It happens, you shouldn't put your dreams of having a family on hold just so you aren't a pregnant bridesmaid. So keep trying for a baby and be a glowing pregnant bridesmaid in November!!