I live next to the most awful couple. They're in their 80's & still fighting fit, but their very presence makes me feel oppressed. They've not wanted anything to do with my child and I (I'm a widow) since the day I moved here 35 years ago. In fact, they don't want anything to do with anyone in our neighbourhood. I've tried every which way I can to 'break the ice' between us, but they remain hostile. They don't answer the door to anyone. It's like living next to the invisible couple, in fact. Anyway, he (the husband) cannot keep his hands off our dustbin. He keeps looking inside it, and transferring his rubbish from his own into ours. I got so fed up that I wrote & told him to keep his hands off our property. He's the type of person who doesn't like anything that doesn't belong to him on his side of the property, & the bin men often leave our bin in his drive after collection. Yesterday, he kicked our bin to my side of the drive, just missing hitting my car. What can I do?
2007-02-21 00:31:00 · 13 answers · asked by The way I are 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
I disagree with some points that people are saying. I don't care how old you are everyone has the ability for common courtesy! If this was happening to any of the people that answered they would not be so darn tolerant! I do agree that you should call your local garbage company and tell them about your situation so they know not to put your can on their side of their driveway.
Maybe you can leave a note on top of the garbage bin. 1). Asking the neighbors not to put their garbage in your can. 2) After you call your local garbage company. Leave a little reminder note to please put your can on your side of the driveway.
This takes all of two minutes I don't think you will be interrupting their day! lol You should be able to get this information about who is your local garbage company by calling your local city hall. If they don't have it; ask them if they could direct you to some office that would know this information. Maybe it is a good thing that the neighbors openly show you their hateful side, because I am sure that you do not want your son to adopt such values. You kind of dodged a bullet there, huh? lol
I would get a new garbage can that I could put a lock on if yours does not already do that and lock it on all non-garbage days. I agree that you should not talk to them any more. However they want to live their last days is their business, but with all this hostility they are unnecessary pointing at you they are making it yours! Stop letting them intimidate you! Don't pick a fight or curse at them because they could call the police on you and you could be charged with elder abuse. I am aware that they are the ones harassing you, but never put anything past hateful people! If they say anything to you just ignore them or look them straight in the eye and give them a firm response. The best revenge is too live well. If they want to be hateful then that is ON THEM! Don't let it trouble you anymore. I wish you all the best and may every day of your life bring you immense joy! I hope this helps! Have a nice day!
2007-02-21 01:52:49 · answer #1 · answered by princesstiarablu 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, I suppose after 35 years, there really isn't much you can do to change the way they are. First off, why is it so important that they have anything to do with your child? Are they related in some way? Second call the garbage company and tell them you are have trouble with your neighbor, no need to burden them with specifics, and need the garbage attendants to be a bit more attentive to the fact that your dust bin must remain on your property.
I will admit that I am a bit of an anti-social person when it comes to the area in which I live. I am polite but I do not socialize with my neighbors on any level! I just don't care too! Their lives are their own and I don't want them butting into mine so why butt into theirs? If, for some odd reason, I feel the need to connect with my neighbors I would do it at the post box! Seems to be the most obvious place to start up a conversation.
However, like I said, I avoid this when ever possible! I don't like people knowing my business, unless I want them to, and neighbors, some neighbors, can be a bit pushy! I'm extremely shy so the need to attend BBQ's or any of that sort of thing would be too uncomfortable for me.
You could look at it in this way! Perhaps they just don't have it in them to socialize with the neighbors. This is not uncommon!
As far as the 'Kicked Bin' goes, you did send him a letter ordering him to keep his grubby little hands off. He did the next best thing and used his foot! Hmm! ((shrug)) Call the garbage Company!
Oh, and one more thing, and please don't take this the wrong way!?! Just because they live next door doesn't mean you will automatically be stedfast friends. It just doesn't work that way! Some people just like to be left alone, and others have specific friends and these friends just might not include you!
Don't be offended by how they act! Just take steps to avoid them! Stop trying to push your friendship on them! After this many years, you may as well take their hint and ignore them!
Good Luck
Blessed Be
2007-02-21 00:55:42 · answer #2 · answered by chocolateforever 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How do this neighbor view living next to you, is it all milk, and honey ? I'm not yet to see 80 but history tells of many changes in those 80 years. Would it be possible that this couple went through some things, and it had something to do with people out side the marriage, possibly a neighbor , maybe one just like you. See some folks forgive, and forget then you have those that forgive, and don't want to go it again. So forgetting is now not an option,and your not needed.It could be something he (the husband) views as a game, and your part of the game is the "need a neighbor" that you will never get. Time will tell all this I know.
2007-02-21 01:34:00 · answer #3 · answered by odis t 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Rose, where is your tolerance of the elderly. I know they can be exasperating at times but they are very set in their ways and have a strong sense of their boundaries and what they think is right - they are of the old school. Why have you bothered to keep trying to be friendly for 35 years for goodness sake when they have made it plain they are just happy with each other and keep themselves to themselves. I would have thought you would be pleased that they were 'the invisible couple' so they do not bother you.(Ok say they put rubbish in your bin is it such a big deal?) You need to get all this in perspective and let them get on with their lives and you get on with yours instead of letting this fester. It seems to bother you more than it does them. You will be old one day too. Let it go and you will be a much happier person.
2007-02-21 00:47:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is a shame they will not get along better than they do with you and your son. When i was growing up, I had neighbors just like that, only not that old. But us kids in the neighborhood couldn't do anything without them calling the cops on us. I wish you the best of luck with your situation though. I really pitty your son. Have you thought about moving? Because you know by now that they will never like you or your son, no matter what.
2007-02-21 00:46:47 · answer #5 · answered by knownothing 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, let me tell u what I would do to that old couple.
First thing is I will forgive them as our lord has told us to forgive others when they do wrong to us.
Secondly , if they are so fond of leaving garbage in our bin , I would buy a bigger dust bin and ask the couple to put their waste also into it so that they dont have to take more trouble as they are old enough.
With love I would give them a smile everytime they try looking at me, even if they don't smile back to me.
There will be a day, when they may be in need, God forbid, I would be the first person to lend them that helping hand.
With these small gestures I am sure they will change and learn to love people.
2007-02-21 00:56:06 · answer #6 · answered by jamuna k 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Unfortunately your neighbours don't seem to be the most communicative of creatures. I would speak to your local councillor and ask for their advice or contact the citizen's advice bureau. I don't think you should put yourself through any more stress and let official bodies deal with it on your behalf. You can get an order against then if necessary so they do not trespass on your property. I am sorry you are going through this, hope you resolve it as amicably as possible. You have done your utmost to be reasonable, unfortunately not everyone else has the same code of conduct.
2007-02-21 00:44:34 · answer #7 · answered by Melanie J 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Why would they want anything to do with your child??..Their elderly for god's sake,and if all you have to complain about is " he can't keep his hands off my bin " It's you that's sad and lonely. I take it your son is now grown and has his own life.?..You also are now set in your ways...So try and have a bit of Patience and ignore them..Sorry if my comments sound a bit harsh
2007-02-21 01:04:00 · answer #8 · answered by David 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Honestly, I'd tell him that it wasn't your fault that the trash man puts the can there and that if he would like to stay out of jail, he'll stop attempting to vandalize your car. I mean, he's already shown the type of person he is, and that he doesn't want to be neighborly, so there's nothing you can do but protect your property,.
2007-02-21 00:45:03 · answer #9 · answered by irie.girl_2006 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
We must be tolerant of people in their 80's. They tend to show child like symptoms as they get older. Just remember that one day you will be 80 and hope for a better disposition. Remember it is them that is loosing out on the last years of thier life. How horrible to end it that way.
2007-02-21 00:37:27 · answer #10 · answered by swimmingwiz 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋