am I cold hearted or?

Question

from the elimentary school I dint like being so close to someone, when friends tried to be close to me I felt a little bit uncomfortable. I usually loved being alone doing something by myself . this character contiued until now.

I graduated from university and learned life( I am still learning)

honestly , in this material world , I think true friendship or love is almost impossible to get.

they say " you are my friend" " I love you" but sooner or later they are disappointed at each other.

So I dont try to make relationship at all now, I know it will make discomfort . I have a gf but we know we are not posessive.we will not marry.but we repect each other.

am I COLD HEARTED person or do i live wrong life, sometimes I wonder.

Answer 1

To be totally blunt with you - I THINK YOU ARE A COWARD!

hope that did not offend you but i call it like i see it.

Answer 2

Hi..I understand how you feel. I am quite the loner too. I am very outgoing and friendly but I don't really let anyone past my front door. In this material world I think your right that it's hard to find true friends or love but at the same time discomfort is a definite part of learning..so is feeling accepted.I think it's great that you and your g/f are not possessive and that you have respect for one another.Couples that have been married for many years wish for that.I don't think your cold hearted or living a "bad" life at all.I think you have all the friend and love you need in your g/f.Maybe you shouldn't rule out the married thing.That's really all it's about. After the initial "passion" is gone..you have to really like the person your with and respect them as another human being.Your 2 people working towards a common goal.When you find that person you've found it all and you can let go.

Answer 3

You're not cold hearted. Difficult as it is to say, I think you're afraid of getting too close to someone lest they betray you and leave you down in the dumps. There must have been some incident in your family or your social circle that started making you feel this way.

Why do you think all friends will betray you one way or the other? People are not Gods. They can't think and act in the correct way all the time, so there are bound to be terrible mistakes and misunderstandings. In the end all that matters is that you understand each other and give comfort to each other. It's impossible to be perfectly happy and satisfied with your own mother, so why do you NEED to feel so with your friend? All that matters is how good a friend YOU are and not how good a friend is to you.

I think that you should loosen up towards people. I think you should do it NOW. What if, very late in your life, you realize that somehow you had been wrong about somebody? It might be too late.

And.. I feel very strange saying this, but why do you think your gf and you will not marry? You have the same ideas, it seems, and you respect each other. You shouldn't assume things that will happen in life because nobody CAN tell. See, the word assume itself has two parts: if you ASSUME, you make an *** of U and ME. Please don't mistake my saying this without knowing anything about you, I just wanted to convey how ridiculous it is to take such things for granted.

I apologize if I sounded rude in this post, I just wanted to convey how much you miss in your life if you think this way. Anyway, no offence meant! :)

Answer 4

You are not cold hearted, you are correct.

What passes for love in our society is a form of hate, where if expectations are not met the so-called love turns to hate. Love is not about getting expectations met.

A long time ago I thought that love was something that you reserved for some special set of people that you had judged worthy of it.

After a while I got to thinking about what Jesus had said about turning the other cheek and loving our neighbor I put the two together and realized that he had made no exceptions in these statements. It became obvious to me that he intended that we exclude no one from the love that we are supposed to be giving. I started thinking about my idea of love and suddenly realized that I had not been loving anyone at all. I had simply been judging everyone and every thing.

Judging someone worthy of love is not love, it is only judgment. I actually started to cry when I realized this. I saw just how much of my life I had wasted being judgmental, thinking of myself as a Christian, when I was actually doing just the opposite of what Jesus had asked us to do.

I thought about the verse judge not lest ye be judged, and I understood it for the first time.

I realized that I have a lot of catching up to do. So many opportunities were wasted. I now try to apply the love that I have for the world in a universal way like Jesus asks us to do.

If I start to feel afraid and think that I see someone that I should not love because of something I have thought or heard I try to catch my mistake as soon as possible. I tell myself that I have forgot the truth and have fallen for the same old trick that had cost me so many opportunities to be loving in the past. The horror of this realization is often all that is necessary to bring me back to my senses and make me drop the judgmental nonsense I was thinking.

I still have a lot to learn about love, but at least I’m making progress.

Love and blessings

Your brother
don

Answer 5

Cold hearted?? maybe to some degree
I think it is just you. And if you have been this way from a young age, it will be hard to change. Perhaps at some time in life you will meet someone to be "friends" You may go into friendships too quickly or expect too much. Go very slow. Just speak. Then go forward on very simple, everday subjects--like the weather. Friendships take time--mutual likes--understanding--
lots of things.
Good luck

Answer 6

I think you are living wrong life.You should always try to make relationships with people.When people say you that they love you or you are their friend then they may be feeling that.No one can live without friends according to me.You say that you feel uncomfortable with your friends but don't you feel lonely without friends.Their is a saying that blood is thicker than water.It means that when we are in difficulties then our relatives will only be helpful to us.But I don't think so.Sometimes it may also happen that your family does not support you and at that time your frined is the one who are with you in your hard times.Friendship is a wonderful experience.You sholud try to cope up with your friends.Even I have disputes eith my friends sometimes but that does not mean that we should not have relations with our friends.I wonder how you live without your friends!I love my friends and family and I cannot live without them.True friendship is absolutely possible to get.Life is incomplete without friends and family.Remember a friend can never be a fiend.Her's a popular saying which is written by my favourite author"Roald Dahl".It goes like this:
My candle burns at both ends,
It will not last the night,But ah my foes and oh my friends,
It gives a lovely light."
This was the motto by which Roald Dahl lived.
I hope after reading this you will change your view about friends.
Friendship is like black color,It suits everything.

Answer 7

If your life style and reasoning's don't hurt people; then how could you be wrong? Each of us are allowed to feel what we feel and protect our hearts, head etc the best way for us. Seems to me you and your gf are on the right track. There is nothing wrong with that. To live wrong would mean that you purposely arouse people into your life and then slam the door on them...I don't believe that is what you do. Fear of any kind keeps one behind closed door...but, if you are comfortable with you then go for it. The only problem I see is that you are now questioning whether your life style is a problem for you...is it? Only you can answer that one. If your life style is comfortable for you stay the course. Good luck! Bless!

Answer 8

The truth is u r scared...feeling insecure all the time...and wants very much to find true love...admit it....NO U R NOT COLD HEARTED....someday u will find true love ...have that hope...then i am sure u will open up to that person...its ok yaar to take a chance at love...see...u respect ur GF...that itself proves u r having a great heart...so don't get dissapointed...it happens to many in this cold world.

Answer 9

I feel the same way. I use to be more open to people, but I have found that people will use you and always end up being a disappointment. It seems the only way to survive in this world is to not trust people.

Answer 10

you are not cold-hearted, neither are you leading your life right. If you are going to turn away from being in a true relationship/s, then what is the difference between you and those who also have reasons for not being true with theirs? So what if others are not true, that does not have to mean that you have to let go of yours. Be more assured of yourself.

Answer 11

I know a friend who was like you. we went through a series of training and my friend now is more approachable. May be you might like to check out you character color and understand where you are coming from and learn from this. I read a book call aura color or something and they have a website for people to test their character color. Try it out, it's interesting and very accurate. After you found out your character color(s), check out your strength and weakness. You will be amazed with the info you got.