Why don't I feel good about my husband going to a stripclub now and then?

Question

I been married for 7 years we been together for 10 years we have two daughters 8 and 2. I think it's wrong for him to go to the strip clubs. Is that wrong? He can watch and and look at anything at home. I hate it when he wants to go out and see these girls. It hurts.

Answer 1

I can understand you being upset by him going to strip clubs. If he has a wife at home, why does he need to go look at OTHER naked women. How would he feel if you went to watch men strip all the time? Would he be okay with it, or would he take it as a message that what you have at home isnt good enough, so you have to go elsewhere to get it. I know it's just looking but its the principle behind it. You should tell him how it makes you feel.

Answer 2

Personally, I don't understand all the hype about being turned on sitting right next to all your friends. Sounds weird. Anyways, I would consider that a personal attack on my self esteem. I would feel very hurt and betrayed. (How would he like it if some guy were climing in your lap?) You don't need me to validate your feelings because you know you're right. You can't change the way you feel. He made a choice to throw the intimacy from your relationship out the window, and it's going to take some time and some very trusting hands to repair it back to normal.

First, you need to talk with him. Find out if there are problems with your guys' sex life where he feels he "needs" to go in order to feel fulfilled. If so, do what you can to fix it. It may just be a change in a routine sex life. OR, if he's just being selfish...... Tell him it hurts you, and makes you feel like second string. That it's hard to trust him and feel respect for him when he treats you this way. Ask him how he would feel if your daughters became strippers. And then ask him what he'd do if your daughters' boyfriends were out at strip clubs, and they came running to daddy to fix things. Which side would he choose?? Then, ask him how he'd feel if you decided to become a stripper to bring in some extra cash.

A real man wouldn't take advantage of a technicality. It's not actually cheating, but it comes damn close to it. I, however, consider it cheating. **He is seeking other woman to fulfill his sexual needs.** Plain and simple. Some people want to say that you might just be insecure and that it doesn't bother some women because they're secure with who they are. Well, what do your instincts tell you??

Answer 3

Here's what I had to to do. My ex was going out all the time, not only to strip clubs but to bars, too. So, I started going out to the bars sometimes. Usually when he would go out with his buddies, I'd call my friends and we'd go out, too. After a couple times of this, he stopped going because he didn't like for me to go. Double standard, I know, but most men are like that. You need to start getting a sitter once in a while, going out with your girlfriends some, dance, have some drinks. No reason why you should sit home while he's out playing.

Answer 4

I see so many people here saying it is not wrong for a man to go to a strip club, but I don't agree. If it were for a bachelor party I could see that. Some people don't have a problem with their spouse going to a strip club. But being that I have had many friends who stripped for a living and even they wouldn't let their boyfriends go. What does that tell you?

Answer 5

This all depends on how often he is going. If he is going weekly its my opinion that its a problem. Its a relationship problem that can continue to deteriorate and its also a money problem. How does a family of four today actually have a budget line item called "Money For Strippers". :> If he goes a few times a year with his buddies big deal. Women who get crazy about the mere thought of their man in a strip club are crazy.

Answer 6

If it bothers you that much I would hope that you could tell him and he would at least try to understand and respect your wishes. I've had this exact issue before and have dealt with it. It wasn't a question of jealousy but more about the whole industry and how incredibly misogynistic and disrespectful it is to women in general. I felt strongly about it and explained my views, that it was offensive to me as a woman and I would appreciate him not condoning something that I found so detrimental. In the end my wishes were respected both because he never viewed this from my perspective and realized it was something important to me. The desire to not upset me far outweighed the desire to go.

Answer 7

nicely, i does no longer be loopy approximately my husband taking place my own as i could start to ask your self whether he feels if i'm no longer adequate for him. My husband has been to the strip golf equipment extremely some circumstances..yet guess what..I consistently went with him. If its approximately myth with him, i want that myth to comprise me. We went some circumstances jointly and he incredibly has no desire to flow anymore. i think of he realizes after finding on the various females and their actual lives at the back of the point such by means of fact the medicine, prostitution, and so forth., he has a extra effective lady at domicile and that the tremendous physique isn't each little thing. as nicely, i attempt to maintain issues interesting for him and he does not ought to look someplace else.

Answer 8

Any one would feel the same way. Maybe you should switch you hair style and buy some sexy lingerie to wear for him. That works like a charm. He is used to you.Give yourself a make over. Buy a wig or something and put your make up on different. When he comes home tease him and dance in front of him seductively. Obvioulsy he likes that fantasy so you have to get creative. Doing the same thing for 10 years can get boring so use your womanly instinct.

Answer 9

Its is wrong for him to go the strip club. How is your romantic self - Still active? this could be a reason that is pushing him out and if not checked he will end up dating another lady. Sit with him and discuss this issue amicably, let him open up to what he is lacking and the reason for his attraction to the club.

Answer 10

I would hate it too. My ex-husband used to go. I don't understand what wife would not object to her husband going and watching and lusting after other women. Especially those type of women you will strip and dance in front of a bunch of strangers for money. To me it is just about like prostitution. I completely understand your hurt. My ex-husband worked in construction and his excuse was they talked business at these clubs. But I found out he was giving these sluts up to $150.00. But there is more to the story and I don't want to keep you. But bottom line Is I agree with you 100% .You need to let him know how you feel. How would he feel if you were going to see male strippers? My bet is he would not like it. I hope you work this out. Good luck to you.