Do you love your spouse more as time goes on or less?
2007-02-20 23:51:19 · 35 answers · asked by sandra b 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well...for us...more...It has been 25 years this past October...your relationship is like a flower garden...in the beginning you plant all the beautiful flowers....you walk through loving everything!...so new and wonderful...then when you weren't paying attention...some weeds grew in the garden...and pretty soon it got unmanageable...so many weeds you didn't know if you would ever be able to save the garden...thinking maybe it would be better to just rip the whole thing up and start over....but if you are patient...and start working at the weeds...one at a time...eventually your beautiful flower garden returns...even more beautiful than in the beginning...because now the plants are more mature and deeply rooted... thus being more beautiful...and because you recognize the weeds now...you are able to pluck them up before they have time to root deeply...and when you tend it diligently and not let the weeds grow up to maturity, they aren't spreading seeds...after a while...the weeds come up less and less...and you can just enjoy the fullness of your beautiful fragrant flower garden...Be Blessed.
2007-02-20 23:54:12 · answer #1 · answered by ticklemeblue 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My love for my husband grew the longer we were together. I can honestly say that I didn't alway LIKE him, though. I didn't realize at the time that all longterm marriages/relationships go through normal highs and lows or know how to deal with them. It's like driving up hill - you have to give the car extra gas to make it up and over. Other times it seems as though you can just coast for awhile - but that's not the case because you will eventually just slow to a stop as the road levels out.
That 10 yr., 12 yr., or 15 yr. hump is a doozy and often requires extra effort to get through. That extra effort being attention (often sexually for men) and relearning how to communicate with your partner. What made them happy 10 yrs. ago may not be what drives them now. Every marriage, it seems, needs a refresher course in expectations(of life, each other, etc), communication, and what each spouses goals might be at that point in time. Most of us were brought up in a time that focuses on easy disposability (no fault divorces) and instant gratification. Not a good mix. And unfortunately our children are being brought up the same way - if it doesn't seem to work just throw it away and get a new one, don't bother fixing what you've got (or even bothering to look to see if it needs fixing - maybe the batteries just need recharging!).
2007-02-21 00:56:00 · answer #2 · answered by greyrider 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I’m married to my third wife. My first marriage lasted less then three years and she found another. My second lasted about seven then she left. I was determined not to get married again. I didn’t date any women that had children or could have any. I met my present wife in our mid thirties and she got pregnant. We got married when our son was about two. I don’t think either was ever in love just good friends and we are still. I’m not sexually attracted to her. So what is love? We talk about lots of things don’t fight and our twenty year old son is one of the greatest young man I’ve known. We have friends that have children his age and have nothing but problems with them. He doesn’t smoke, drink and attends church regularly. Is it love more or less when you enjoy doing nothing together. Yes we enjoy doing things together. How many out there can say they can be happy doing nothing. Just sitting, taking a ride, or watching the sun go down!
Guess my answer would have to be about the same!
2007-02-22 00:42:48 · answer #3 · answered by bigh5586 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL first she married , i not lol , yes i love my wife with all my heart an soul,,,an would never say less, for marriage is the best, been with the same old girl 33, going on 34,
2007-02-21 00:02:39 · answer #4 · answered by ghostwalker077 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It AL depends on the stages of the years.I've been with my husband for 10 yrs but only married for 4 yrs.So yes the love gets greater.Hope your marriage is going Strong,I 'll bless you with plenty more yrs to come of love and happiness.
2007-02-21 00:21:44 · answer #5 · answered by lorraine B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been married 11yrs, together 12. I love my husband more with every passing day. He has grown into a wonderful husband and father. When we met, we were barely legal, so we've grown, fought, loved, hated, all throughout the years. it has been rough at times, but if you truly love one another, it's all worth it in the end. I could never imagine my life without him, and would never want to try.
2007-02-20 23:58:21 · answer #6 · answered by Michele A 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
After thirty three years the love, not so much, but the respect and companionship is great, it took some time, two strong willed people, but respect wins the day.
2007-02-21 00:05:08 · answer #7 · answered by raymondo C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nature of love goes on changing every day.
2007-02-21 00:42:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not me yet, but by seeing my sister, or friends in their 10 year marriages, I would say you cannot judge by others.....What i mean...?
I know my sister is bored, angry, frustrated, he gets on her nerves, but I also know my friend who is still loving, keeps calm, has two children like my sister and yet she knows how to enjoy, and not expect much from a marriage.
Marriage is a project, and you can't expect it as your own pleasures and expectations and dreams... it is also his side and the childrens side if you have any....
Here is a side have a look if it helps:
http://www.drphil.com/articles/category/5
http://www.drphil.com/
may be it will try to see yourself as your partner?
I am also trying my best, relating my in laws. So you are not the only one here! good luck!
2007-02-20 23:59:38 · answer #9 · answered by Spark S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it depends on the individual, some marriages get closer, some grow apart. If you are still together I would say you love them more.
2007-02-21 00:00:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋