I think it would be the betrayal of our family that would be worst. And that he could lie to the kids aswel as me would be the nail in his coffin.
2007-02-20 23:41:02 · 58 answers · asked by babyshambles 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know what you mean, i recently found out my wife had an affair with my 'best mate' and for he sake of the kids we are trying really hard and are slowly getting through it.
i don't think you forget and that's hard because you ponder scenarios and events a lot. But i ask my wife any questions that arise when i start to think and she is honest with me.
i know she is sorry which helps and i really don't think she'd do it again because she has seem how much hurt it has caused me and how much it's changed me as a person. she ha also seen teh devestation her actions caused a veryclose group of friends and they have been very vocal about their feelings towards her, but thats the consequences of her actions that she has to deal with.
i have beeen going to a counsellor as well to discuss how it has affected me and i have found that that has really helped.
i think if the bond and desire to get through it together is ther then you can forgive and as they say time is a healer, and it will get better.
thats what i cling onto anyway, good luck.
2007-02-21 00:08:55 · answer #1 · answered by ali k 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I honestly don't think I could stay in a marriage where there was that kind of betrayal. I would forgive in time, but the level of trust will never be as high as it once was. There wouldn't be anything left to work on after that.
2007-02-21 03:27:54 · answer #2 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
can you forgive is the main thing here maybe forgive but forgetting is the hardest thing to do .The experience i have gone through in life has shown me it is easier to forgive in time but to forget is never it will always be in the back of your mind.The most important is if you don;t forgive you have three children you said and no matter what no man or woman could ever love your children as much as their own mothers and fathers so starting over is really hard. If you do start over how is your next relationship gonna be you will destroy it from the worries of the past ,you will always have in your mind they are cheating on you also.I have alot of experience .....43 and three husbands ago and yes i am a single woman kids now grown,and no worries about a man cheatin on me so think about your life and your childrens life before you make a drastic decision........hope you the best
2007-02-20 23:59:07 · answer #3 · answered by rhonda_castle2002 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes. It would take time, me and my wife feel the same, that a marriage is for life and has to be worked at through all the bad times as well as the good.
What kind of person and how you deal with problems is an important factor too.
Whether you are married or not shouldn't matter, you chose to be with that person and not other people too unless it was a decision both of you agreed too.
I don't care what people think of this answer. Its my view.
2007-02-21 04:06:51 · answer #4 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes I could. I always thought I couldn't but if he is willing to give it go then I might be up for it and learn from what has happened. I think it would take lot of time and hard work to build back the trust. If you don't get that back, don't bother with him.
If there is kids involved I don't know what would be right. On one hand you want them to have a functional family, but if they can only get that by the parents splitting up..then that would be right.
2007-02-21 03:37:55 · answer #5 · answered by Lassie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes at the end of the day it is only sex not love. whats more important is that he or she knows it is the betrayal of trust that is the bug bear after all wouold they like it done to them?
But it is important not to become obsessive over it as it will ruin your future as a couple or as a single person when looking for a new love. most of all remeber if somebody easily betrays you they may do it again and is it worth it. There are guys and girls galore out there and so many magic moments dont miss out hun
2007-02-21 02:29:31 · answer #6 · answered by Zmithy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once that trust has gone it is near on impossible to get it back. Personally I could not be doing with the wondering, when ever partener late back or away, or with me, what are they thinking, what are they doing. I would have to end it for both our sakes. Trust and honest make a releationship great, but once you have lost that well you may as well forget it, I have seen people try and make things work after, but just never seems to happen!
2007-02-20 23:49:58 · answer #7 · answered by djp6314 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, never.
To cheat on your partner is the most heinous thing a person can do. It denotes a lack of respect, consideration, decency and values when a man can do that to his wife / partner. Then there's the whole issue of trust and security to deal with. How can you ever trust this man again? How do you know if he still desires you and lusts for you?
It's too risky!
2007-02-20 23:50:39 · answer #8 · answered by rachel e 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I forgave my ex husband having an affiar when we were engaged, and went on to marry him...Unfortunately I made the wrong decision and I found out he was having another affair when my youngest was 6 weeks old, and he had started this affair when I was pregnant with our first, yet he still went on to have 3 children with me!! im not saying a leopard cant change his spots, but I think if they get away with it once maybe they think they can do it again....there again thats just one persons opinion and i am sure there are blokes out there that learn their lesson and dont ever do it again!
2007-02-20 23:45:26 · answer #9 · answered by tizzy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone deserves a second chance especially for the sake of the children. Don't forget men are built differently and are controlled a lot by hormones-so there are few men who haven't been tempted at least once. The thought of sex is quite overpowering in certain agegroups. It blots out all sensible restraining thoughts. I'm not making excuses for him.
2007-02-20 23:47:08 · answer #10 · answered by Birdman 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋